Gay Men Going Deeper21 Aug 2025

The Problem With Self-Love

We all know self-love is important, but what happens when it goes too far in the wrong direction?

In this episode, Michael DiIorio is joined by therapist Michael Pezzullo for an honest conversation about the shadow side of self-love. Together, they explore:

The difference between self-comforting and self-coddling
How emotional sensitivity can become emotional fragility
Why self-bulldozing is just as harmful as avoidance
The four zones of the Self-Love Spectrum
How trauma impacts the way we “love” ourselves
How to tell if you're truly healing…or just hiding.

You’ll learn about the Self-Love Spectrum, the signs of self-coddling and self-bulldozing, and how to practice a more empowering, growth-oriented version of self-love- without abandoning your need for care and compassion.

Join us for an episode that will help you get honest about how you love yourself, and what real self-love actually looks like.

Today's Guest: Michael Pezzullo

Today's Host: Michael DiIorio

Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes

- CONNECT WITH US -

Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com

- LEARN WITH US -

Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
Take the

Denne episoden er hentet fra en åpen RSS-feed og er ikke publisert av Podme. Den kan derfor inneholde annonser.

Episoder(291)

How to Elevate Your Hookups

Hookups get a bad rap as shallow, transactional, or disconnected. But what if they could actually become a space for growth, awareness, and real connection? In this episode, we’re advocating for sh...

25 Jun 31min

The Daddy Issue: Our Relationships With Our Dads

For many gay men, our relationship with our dad is one of the most defining- and least talked about. In this episode, we explore the nuances of our relationships with our fathers through three core qu...

11 Jun 52min

“I Don’t Need Anyone”: Why Gay Men Struggle to Let Someone In

A lot of gay men take pride in being independent, self-sufficient and in control. But is there a shadow side? When the time comes to let someone in, ask for support, or even rely on others—it feels un...

28 Mai 36min

Gay–Straight Bromance: Why We’re Drawn to Each Other

There’s something unique about friendships between gay and straight men. They often feel easy, natural, and unexpectedly intimate. In this episode, we explore the unique reasons why gay and straigh...

14 Mai 43min

How To Deal With Haters (Without Getting Defensive)

We’ve all dealt with them. And maybe we’ve probably been one too… In this episode, we unpack what’s really going on beneath hate. Not just online trolls or obvious critics, but the subtle ways judg...

30 Apr 31min

Busy, Stimulated, and Disconnected: Gay Men & Escapism

What if the things you turn to for fun, pleasure, and productivity are also the ways you avoid your life? In this episode, we explore escapism through a grounded, real-world lens. Not necessarily as a...

16 Apr 31min

Let’s Play! When Did Life Stop Being Fun?

At what point did life stop being fun? As kids, play came naturally. We were curious, spontaneous, and fully present. But for many adults, especially gay men who grew up navigating shame and self-c...

2 Apr 53min

Masc for Masc: Preference or Internalized Homophobia?

When a gay man says he’s attracted to masculine men, is that simply preference… or could internalized homophobia be part of the story? In this episode, we unpack one of the most volatile conversati...

26 Mar 51min