Are You Overthinking… Or Self-Sabotaging Your Relationship

Welcome back to the Be That Healing Girl Podcast!

Today we’re talking about something I see constantly with my clients...and honestly something I know very well from my own life too: the overthinking spiral.

You know the one. You reread the texts. You rewrite the message three times before sending it. You rehearse the conversation in the shower, in the car, before bed… maybe 12 times.

You tell yourself you're just trying to be thoughtful or self-aware.

But your brain is basically running a full soap opera about a situation that hasn’t even happened yet.

And the worst part? Most of the time nothing is actually wrong, but your brain refuses to relax.

In this episode we talk about:

- The difference between overthinking and self-sabotage

- Why high-achieving, self-aware women get stuck in relationship rumination

- The “rewrite the text five times” pattern

- Why reassurance from your partner never actually sticks

- How overthinking is often just a really smart form of self-protection

- Why healing anxious attachment requires learning to sit in uncertainty

Because the truth is… when you're in that spiral, you're not really trying to solve a problem.

You're trying to get relief.

And your brain is convinced that if it just analyzes the situation one more time, you'll finally feel safe.

Spoiler: it doesn't work like that.

I also share a bit about what's been coming up for me personally as I prepare for a big family trip where I’ll be seeing my dad for the first time in 11 years - and how easy it is to slip into trying to say the “perfect thing” instead of just being present.

If you’ve ever thought:

“Am I overthinking this?”

“Am I self-sabotaging something good?”

“Why can’t my brain just chill?”

This episode is for you!

Take a breath.

You’re not crazy.

Your brain just learned a really intense way of trying to protect you.

And we’re going to talk about it.

💌 Ready for deeper support? Inside Healing Girl Gang, we practice the tools and reps that move you from anxious attachment → secure connection.

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