Chai Me A River with Shane Lamba24 Des 2025

Masculinity, Dating Apps & Delusion: What 2025 Taught Me

I’m bisexual, brown, and tired. Tired of this year, tired of the delusion, and very ready to let 2025 fade away...

In this end-of-year episode of Chai Me A River, I spill the final tea of 2025 and reflect on masculinity, dating apps, queer identity, and the biggest lessons this year forced me to learn.

This episode recaps some of my favorite moments and themes from the season. Being the token Indian person at the gay bar. Falling into the trap of desirability without commitment in LOOKING. Realizing that being bi enough or Indian enough somehow still is not enough when you are brown. MASC 4 MASC culture, gay delusions, and the ghouls and gremlins that thrive in queer dating spaces.

I get honest about dating app burnout, validation addiction, commitment avoidance, and why softness and femininity still feel like liabilities in queer culture. I talk about community, loneliness, unlearning performance, and what it means to show up more honestly with yourself and others.

Then I step onto my soapbox.

We unpack the biggest queer delusions of 2025. Thinking the hyper-masculine man is going to save you. Thinking the DL man is secretly committed to you. Thinking hookup culture comes without consequences. Thinking femininity is bad and that you must aspire to being masc, fit, and boring. Not supporting queer events, creators, and community that actually matter. Thirsting over fitness culture while avoiding emotional growth. Relying on supplements instead of therapy. Traveling to escape a reality you refuse to fix at home. Acting like drag and queer art are “too much.”

I close the episode with 2026 intentions, not resolutions. Making more money. Socializing with intent. Growing Chai Me A River and expanding my creative reach.

This isn’t a polished recap or performative healing. It’s an honest 2025 reflection on masculinity, dating culture, queer identity, brownness, burnout, and choosing truth over performance.

Welcome to the Chai Me A River 2025 Tea Spill ☕️

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Episoder(25)

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