#30 Ingrid Bernsen | A Life Built on Secrets: Identity, Loss and Adoption

In this episode, on Furtitude & Flow we meet Ingrid Bernsen, a Norwegian domestic adoptee who shares her powerful and deeply personal story about identity, loss, and the consequences of a system that, for decades, separated mothers and children.

Ingrid grew up without knowing she had been adopted. It was only at the age of 20 that she accidentally discovered the truth through her grandmother. That revelation marked the beginning of a lifelong journey to understand who she is, what she has lost, and how adoption has shaped her life.

She speaks about the experience of living with a loss of identity, being deprived of the opportunity to grow up with her biological mother and family, and how secrecy and shame affected multiple generations.

Ingrid's biological mother became pregnant by a married man. She wanted to keep her daughter, but societal pressure and the authorities of the time pushed her to give her child up. Her story also sheds light on how unmarried mothers were met with shame, and how the needs of children were often overshadowed by the expectations and needs of adults and society.

"No one thought about the children. Everyone thought about the needs of the adults."

This is a conversation about identity, belonging, adoption trauma, truth, and the things that cannot be undone—but still deserve to be told.

Ingrid Bernsen and Sandra Josiane Haukaas are the co-founders and leaders of Adoptert Sammen, a community for adoptees and people with lived experience of adoption.

Link:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/717045007082002