Flaming Bags of Dog Complaints

We kick things off with Sir Spleenington, the distinguished British predecessor to Spencer's lovably grating alter ego "The Spleen", hiding from Flock cameras and ankle monitors while Spencer attempts to explain that this podcast is technically an American reboot of a British podcast. Kevin actually laughs audibly, which may be a first in recorded history. From there, we cover the very real and very poisonous warehouse fire burning in Boyle Heights, LA, where Spencer went out handing N95 masks to street vendors who promptly did not put them on. We also get into the World Cup bringing tourists to America who are discovering chips and salsa, bottomless refills, and tailgating for the first time, leading to what is probably an AI-generated viral tweet about a Japanese man being spiritually defeated by a basket of tortilla chips at a Mexican restaurant. Then things get truly personal. Spencer recounts a weekend of cascading indignities: a terrible fake-Caesar wrap from Doghaus, a multi-hour Chipotle customer service odyssey involving AI phone bots, a rude supervisor, a robot that hung up on him, and a very long drive to find no crispy chicken. A Magic: The Gathering card he wanted wasn't even in the deck it was supposed to be in. He survived all of this, and his emotional recovery time is getting shorter, which we declare as growth. We close out with Spencer pitching a structured belief system built around summoning a personal "familiar", essentially harnessing the placebo effect and humanity's religious tendencies into something useful and non-cult-shaped. Kevin says he'd join immediately. Spencer considers writing a self-help book. The Spleen is somewhere hiding from cameras. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices