212: Why You Can't Let Go (Even When You Know You Should)

Why can't you let it go? You typed the text, deleted it three times, and sent it anyway just to get the last word. In part one of a three-part series, Sabrina Zohar breaks down the fight response: keeping score, replaying old arguments, the silent treatment, test texts, and why anger rumination keeps you stuck instead of setting you free. Whether you're single, dating, or years into a relationship, this one is for anyone who can't stop fighting to be right. Sabrina gets honest about how needing the last word costs you sleep, connection, and the chance to actually be known, how triggers resurface after an abusive relationship, and why your reactions reveal more about your history than the person in front of you. You'll leave with one research-backed tool, the 20-minute rule, to calm down before you say or send something you'll regret. Expect real, warm, no-bullshit guidance on attachment, dating, and putting the armor down. Pre-order Sabrina's book coming out October 2026,⁠ "Why Am I Like This?"⁠ Get your free workbook and access to the companion course after pre-ordering 'Why Am I Like This?' by filling out the form at the bottom of the page at http://sabrinazohar.com/book Take the new and improved dating quiz! sabrinazohar.com/quiz If you’re ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step ⁠HERE!⁠ If you’re serious about changing your dating patterns instead of repeating them, the Art of Going Slow course helps you unlearn urgency, regulate your nervous system, and build real connection without rushing, chasing, or abandoning yourself ⁠HERE!⁠ Get Ad free ⁠HERE!⁠ Watch on Spotify. Spotify subscribers get fewer ads on my video. Want to work with Sabrina? ⁠HERE!⁠ Get merch for The Sabrina Zohar Show ⁠HERE!⁠ Don't forget to follow ⁠Sabrina⁠ and ⁠The Sabrina Zohar Show⁠ on Instagram and ⁠Sabrina ⁠on TikTok! Video now available on ⁠YOUTUBE!⁠ Chapters: 00:00 Why you can't let it go 02:35 What being triggered really means 04:50 Needing the last word 08:41 Keeping score in relationships 10:58 Test texts and silent treatment 13:53 Fight as a survival response 16:43 Why we match the energy 20:25 Testing for reassurance 24:41 Anger rumination explained 27:41 The 20 minute rule Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formerly known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Episoder(229)

228: You're Not Healing. You're Just Consuming Content…

Why does healing feel so hard, and why doesn't "regulating your nervous system" fix it? Nervous system expert Masha Kay returns to break down what the internet gets wrong about nervous system regulati...

2 Okt 59min

227: How To Actually Handle A Breakup…

How do you get over a breakup without making it mean something is wrong with you? In the final episode of the Things To Do and Not To Do series, Sabrina breaks down what to do and what not to do durin...

25 Sep 30min

226: Do's And Don'ts For Dating And Relationships

The dos and don'ts of dating and relationships, from the first date to years in. Sabrina covers what to do and not do before, during, and after a first date: stop the endless texting, set boundaries a...

18 Sep 41min

225: Am I Too Late To Find Love? With Tamsen Fadal

This one is about feeling behind. The belief that you missed your window, that everyone else got the memo, that whatever you want is off the table now because of your age. We are answering the questio...

11 Sep 52min

224: Stop Asking Everyone But Yourself

You already know the answer. You just keep asking everyone but yourself: him, your friends, your therapist, a stranger with a podcast, anyone who will confirm what you already feel. Sabrina gets into ...

8 Sep 39min

223: Things To Do And Not Do When Single

How do you actually get okay being alone? In part one of a three part series, Sabrina answers your questions about being single: how to stop wanting a relationship so badly, how to grieve a breakup or...

4 Sep 37min

222: How Do You Actually Choose Yourself?

What does loving yourself actually look like when it isn't bubble baths, face masks, or affirmations you don't believe? Sabrina breaks down the real difference between self-love and self-esteem, what ...

28 Aug 38min

221: Can You Get Them To Change?

Discernment in dating is not about spotting every red flag, it's about not creating green ones that were never there. Sabrina opens with the story of the emotionally unavailable man she spent years ma...

21 Aug 32min