Dividing My Life

Dividing My Life

What happens when someone repeatedly forces you to imagine losing everything you love—only to pretend the conversation never happened the next day?

In Episode 86 of After the Quiet, I share one of the most psychologically damaging forms of coercive control I experienced. My husband would wake me in the middle of the night, hand me a laptop, and make me create lists of what each of us would get "if we divorced." Every possession became another opportunity to remind me that if I left, I would lose everything—including the dog he knew I loved most.

The next morning, he would act as though none of it had ever happened. No mention of the late-night conversations. No acknowledgment of the fear or emotional exhaustion. Instead, he wanted to spend time together as a happy family, leaving me questioning my own memory and reality.

This episode explores gaslighting, sleep deprivation, psychological abuse, coercive control, fear-based manipulation, and how abusers use uncertainty to keep their partners trapped. If you've ever felt like you were constantly questioning your own reality, this episode may help you recognize that confusion can be a deliberate tactic of abuse.

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Episoder(95)

The Things I Never Got Back

The Things I Never Got Back

What do you really lose when you leave an abusive relationship? In Episode 95 of After the Quiet, I share the emotional experience of returning to our family home after separation to pack my belonging...

11 Aug 9min

Selling the house = New friend

Selling the house = New friend

Selling a family home after separation should be straightforward—but when coercive control is involved, even a real estate transaction can become another form of abuse. In Episode 94 of After the Quie...

6 Aug 9min

The Smear Campaign

The Smear Campaign

What happens when an abuser doesn't let go after you leave? In Episode 93 of After the Quiet, I share how the abuse changed after separation through a devastating smear campaign. False accusations of ...

4 Aug 10min

Why Didn’t I Leave Sooner?

Why Didn’t I Leave Sooner?

Why do people stay in abusive relationships? In Episode 92 of After the Quiet, I answer one of the most common questions survivors are asked: "Why didn't you leave sooner?" I share the complexities be...

30 Jul 11min

Other Flags I Missed

Other Flags I Missed

What happens when even reading a book, saying hello to a neighbour, or enjoying a quiet moment becomes a reason for punishment? In Episode 91 of After the Quiet, I share the everyday acts of emotional...

28 Jul 10min

The Day I Left

The Day I Left

In Episode 90 of After the Quiet, I share the day I finally left my marriage after years of coercive control, emotional abuse, and psychological manipulation. Following another sleepless night of inte...

17 Jul 9min

The Moment I Realized I Wasn’t Safe

The Moment I Realized I Wasn’t Safe

In Episode 89 of After the Quiet, I share the moment that changed everything. While I often say a Dr. Phil episode helped me recognize the signs of coercive control, it was a heartbreaking Ontario new...

15 Jul 6min

He Stole My Evidence

He Stole My Evidence

In Episode 88 of After the Quiet, I share the moment I realized that nowhere felt safe anymore. After secretly documenting months of coercive control, gaslighting, and emotional abuse in a notebook hi...

13 Jul 9min

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