Most Leaders Miss This One Critical Skill with Carol Fox

The conversation centers on leadership, influence, and the pivotal role of coaches and women leaders in sport and beyond. Carol Fox shares how her background as an athlete and swimming/water polo family shaped her views on dedication, mindset, and the importance of nurturing coaching. She defines influence as the impact we have before, during, and after we speak, essentially how people experience us and how they feel after interacting with us, with validation as a core leadership behavior. Carol emphasizes that great coaches and leaders deeply understand the individuals in front of them, adapt their style to different needs, and recognize the ripple effect of their behavior on athletes, teams, families, and communities. A major theme is kindness: Carol’s leadership and parenting mantra is to be kind to yourself and others, challenge negative labels like “difficult,” and consciously choose positive assumptions, especially in the context of increasing women’s representation and visibility in coaching, governance, and sports leadership roles.

Takeaways:

Influence is felt, not just heard – Leadership impact comes from how people experience you before, during, and after you speak, especially whether they feel seen, heard, and emotionally validated.

Great coaches adapt to the individual – The most effective coaches and leaders take time to understand each person’s needs, mindset, and communication style, then tailor their approach rather than using one style for everyone.

Kindness creates powerful ripple effects – Leading with kindness, positive assumptions, and respect—while championing more women in coaching and leadership—quietly shapes cultures, role models, and future generations far beyond the initial interaction.

Quotes:

"For me, influence is how are people experiencing us, and so that's why a lot of my work is, you know, how are you projecting yourself, and how do people feel when they leave you?"

"The most important thing you can do as a leader is to validate the person in front of you, because the experience they're having is real."

Timeline:

0:00 – Coaches under pressure – Grassroots coaches juggling athletes, parents, and club politics. 0:47 – Podcast intro & who is Carol Fox? – Anton frames the show and introduces Carol’s leadership and coaching work. 3:42 – 40+ years in sport – Carol’s long career and early life as a swimmer, water polo player, and surf lifesaver. 7:15 – Validation in a post‑pandemic world – Why people need their feelings and stress responses acknowledged. 8:29 – Seen, heard, felt – Different communication styles (visual, auditory, kinesthetic) and why they matter. 9:34 – Self-awareness & situational awareness – Understanding yourself and others to adapt your leadership. 11:22 – Family, Olympians, and early coaches – How Carol’s elite-sport family shaped her mindset and standards. 18:41 – The hidden load of coaching – Parents, committees, politics, and the pressure on (often volunteer) coaches. 20:35 – Small moments of impact – Why Carol treasures quiet feedback from clients years later. 23:24 – The ripple effect of influence – How one coach’s shift changes athletes, families, and communities. 25:27 – Take it on, give it a go, live it – Carol’s three-step approach to applying leadership tools. 26:51 – Women in sport leadership – Why visible female coaches, umpires, and board members matter. 29:26 – Progress and programs for women coaches – Representation stats and initiatives like W32 for 2032. 31:01 – Role models for boys and girls – How both genders benefit from seeing women and men in leadership. 37:30 – How we treat each other matters – Culture cues, from whiteboard slogans to “Believe” signs. 38:09 – Being human and fixing it – We all slip; what matters is noticing, apologizing, and realigning. 40:00 – Anton’s recap of key lessons – Validation, mindset, small moments, and the pebble-in-the-pond metaphor. 41:58 – Carol’s closing message – Be kind, create space, and validate people’s experiences.

Conclusion:

Carol Fox highlights that real leadership and influence are less about titles and more about how we make others feel—seen, heard, and validated. Through stories from sport, coaching, and governance, Carol shows that the most impactful leaders are those who know themselves, understand the unique people in front of them, and deliberately adapt their communication. Her focus on kindness as a non‑negotiable leadership mantra reminds us that positive assumptions and small, respectful actions can create far-reaching ripple effects. The push for greater representation of women in coaching and sport leadership is not just about fairness; it’s about enriching decision-making and role modeling for the next generation. Ultimately, Carol’s message is that if we choose kindness, validation, and genuine curiosity about others, our influence will extend far beyond what we can ever see.