Regret after TFMR | Coping with the big and small decisions of termination baby loss

Sabrina talks about regret after ending a wanted pregnancy and how it rarely looks the way people expect. Sometimes it's not regret over the decision to interrupt the pregnancy, but over the “smaller” (still huge) pieces around it... not taking enough pictures, not holding your baby long enough, declining genetic testing in a moment you weren't in the right headspace for. Sometimes the regret is about how you were treated during your termination for medical reasons... coerced, under-informed, never told what a labor and delivery induction would actually feel like, or that a funeral was even an option. And sometimes it's that tight, familiar pit in your stomach: what if my baby’s condition had changed, was the diagnosis severe enough to choose TFMR, could I have handled a "good enough" outcome after all.

If you've been Googling “how to cope with regret after TFMR” or "is it normal to regret my TFMR”, or you swing back and forth between peace and guilt sometimes in the same breath, you're not broken and you didn't make the wrong call. Sabrina gets into why TFMR grief and regret get weaponized against parents online, why gray diagnoses and "good enough" outcomes can torture us just as much as a fatal one, and the reframe that's helped her most in her own healing... that regret, underneath all of it, IS love and comes from love.

And in this episode we invite you to join us in this space, just for TFMR parents:

THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY

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If you're carrying the weight of your TFMR alone... you don't have to anymore.

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The TFMR Support Sanctuary: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby.

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💜 A safe place to feel whole again and honor your baby & feel the strength to get through another day

💬 Live circles every couple of weeks, replays always available and JUST as powerful

💜 Month-to-month, as you need support

🌸 $55/month

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Join us: ⁠www.theTFMRdoula.com/join⁠

FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:

Join other TFMR parents who just GET it and are here to listen and hold you.

PLUS you'll get early access to new podcast episodes just like this one and a chance to ask questions live or have your comment/story be part of an episode. All in our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. Witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. Share your story in our CLOSED group, and hear how others like you are getting through.

Application only, free membership:

⁠http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup

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🎙 Want to share your story on the podcast?

Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

Music credit:

"Pamgaea" Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search )

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/