Ilana: Former Zionist

On Beyond Belief, Ilana describes growing up in a strongly Zionist Jewish environment shaped by her Israeli father, her conservative rabbi stepfather, and Zionist youth programming. She learned to equate Judaism with support for Israel.

After her stepfather’s death, college courses presenting “dueling narratives” about Israel and Palestine began shifting her perspective. Israel’s bombardment and blockade of Gaza further challenged her views, eventually leading her to criticize Zionism publicly in 2014 and experience significant social fallout.

Ilana stopped attending synagogue, found community among anti-Zionist Jews online, and began working closely with Gaza journalist Wafa Al-Udaineh, editing her English-language reports. This relationship deepened Ilana’s connection to Gaza and Palestinian life.

After October 7, Ilana intensified her activism. When Wafa was killed in 2024, Ilana experienced severe grief and sought psychiatric care. She discusses the difficulty of separating Judaism from Zionism, her ongoing deconstruction of religious beliefs and practices, the importance of centering Palestinian voices, and her decision to learn Arabic. She also reflects on religion, ritual, belonging, family, and life after faith.

Chapters

00:00 — Meet Ilana and the Premise
01:21 — Family Roots and Israel Ties
02:42 — Militarism and Early Doubts
04:32 — Rabbi Stepfather After 9/11
07:10 — Zionist Youth-Group Indoctrination
11:22 — First Cracks and Questions
12:18 — Loss of Faith After His Death
13:25 — College and Dueling Narratives
19:44 — Gaza and Moral Awakening
20:58 — Kurdish Jewish Heritage and Zionism
28:26 — Speaking Out Online in 2014
31:04 — Leaving Synagogue for Good
32:14 — Working With Journalists in Gaza
34:33 — October 7 and Direct Action
39:04 — Wafa’s Death and a New Purpose
40:30 — How She Is Doing Now
42:38 — Raising a Child Post-Zionism
43:15 — Religion Without Trauma
44:11 — Growing Up Zionist
45:59 — Belonging Nowhere
48:29 — Learning Arabic
53:26 — Grassroots Jewish Spaces
55:08 — Institutional Power
56:36 — The End of Judaism
58:51 — Family Supremacism
01:03:41 — Stop Debating Zionists
01:05:46 — Palestine-Centered Practice
01:09:52 — Life After Religion
01:15:07 — Closing Thanks