Keeping Desire Alive Through Pregnancy, Grief & Big Life Changes with LBDO Founder Rachel Baker

We grow up believing desire is supposed to arrive on its own — instant, spontaneous, the way it looks in the movies. So when it doesn't, we quietly wonder what's wrong with us.

This week, I sit down with Rachel Baker, founder of the Australian sexual wellness brand LBDO, to take that myth apart. Rachel started LBDO after a fluorescent-lit sex-shop experience left her thinking there has to be a better way — and after losing her mother and leaving a career at L'Oréal, she built it.

We get into the difference between spontaneous and responsive desire (and why "I'm never in the mood" almost never means something is broken), the brakes and accelerators that quietly run your libido, and why the "I'm addicted to my vibrator" fear is a myth. We also talk honestly about libido in pregnancy and grief, how to actually talk to a partner about sex, the censorship battles facing women's pleasure online, and why the most beautiful thing you can do is stop hiding it in a drawer.

Whether your desire has gone quiet or you just want to understand your body better, this one will leave you feeling a lot less alone — and a lot less broken.

Explore LBDO at lbdo.com — use code LUST15 for 15% off.

Chapters:

00:00 Intro

00:40 Why sex shops are built to embarrass you

01:20 The first-vibrator story that sparked a brand

03:46 Fear-based vs pleasure-based sex education

06:41 Losing her mom & building a "safe space"

07:17 How to actually talk to kids about sex

09:29 The L'Oréal insight behind LBDO

10:46 Launching a sexual wellness brand in lockdown

16:18 Who's really buying (teens to women in their 70s)

17:15 The customer review that brought Rachel to tears

18:14 Why communication is lubrication

19:17 Where does libido go in pregnancy?

20:17 Responsive vs spontaneous desire (you're not broken)

21:35 Brakes & accelerators: the dual control model

23:50 Turn-ons, turn-offs & why stress kills desire

26:20 The clitoris, anatomy & designing for pleasure

27:52 Why Rush took 3 years to design

29:09 The hotel housekeeping story

30:32 Will a suction toy desensitize you?

32:02 The "vibrator addiction" myth, debunked

33:57 Vibrator vs suction toy: the real difference

35:50 Bringing toys into a relationship

37:30 Selfridges, Bloomingdale's & pinch-me moments

39:11 The censorship war on women's pleasure

41:27 Viagra is fine, but "clitoris" gets flagged?

42:40 Keeping desire alive while working with your husband

45:33 Pregnancy, pelvic floor & getting honest

47:05 An orgasm a day: the health benefits of pleasure
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