Agony Aunt Confessions, PMDD and Life Off the Timeline with Vicki Notaro #183

Vicki Notaro is back! Her new novel, Anywhere but Here, follows three friends all hovering around 40 and living completely different lives. As Vicki puts it, you can be 40 and you can be a granny, or trying to conceive, or single, or divorced. She and Laura talk about the pressure women feel to have everything sorted by a certain age, and why marriage or a mortgage was never meant to be a finish line.

Vicki also gives an honest update on her women's health journey: years of very painful periods, a suspected endometriosis that turned out to be ovarian cysts, a PMDD diagnosis and cyclical depression alongside lifelong anxiety, a coil, surgery, a recurrence, and the oral progesterone that cleared her brain fog within two days.

From there the conversation turns to what young people lost when magazines disappeared. Vicki spent four years at Kiss from the age of 22, acting as a "big sis" to teenage readers, and she makes a warm case for edited, expert-checked advice over the "wild wild west of TikTok" — before Laura hands her a pile of anonymous listener confessions to answer.

🔑 Key Points

Women the same age are living completely different lives

"You can be 40 and you can be a granny" — Vicki's novel follows three friends around 40 at entirely different stages, something she sees as new in Irish life.

Milestones are a beginning, not a finish line

Vicki talks about the pressure to have the house, the relationship and possibly a baby sorted by a certain age, and why she has never seen those moments as the end of the story.

Writing about being child-free by choice once brought hate mail

She first wrote about not wanting children at 22, when it was still taboo, and was told again and again that she just hadn't met the right man.

Years of pain, and a diagnosis that came later

Suspected endometriosis turned out to be ovarian cysts, and a PMDD diagnosis explained the low, cyclical days sitting on top of lifelong anxiety.

Hormones can lift brain fog within days

After a cyst returned, her consultant added oral progesterone alongside the coil she already had, and Vicki describes her brain fog clearing within two days.

Magazines did a job nothing has replaced.

At Kiss, Vicki answered readers' questions about periods, spots and first kisses as their "big sis" — advice that was edited, curated and expert-checked.

Confessions, answered without judgement

Laura hands Vicki anonymous confessions from the Love Your Vulva live show — desire, hygiene, being left out for not having children, Botox and breast reduction — and the answers stay kind throughout.

📚 Resources

Anywhere but Here

Vicki Notaro's fourth novel, published by Penguin

Endometriosis

the condition first suspected behind Vicki's years of period pain

Period problems and PMDD

HSE guidance on severe premenstrual symptoms

Love Your Vulva Live

Laura's live show, where the anonymous confessions were gathered

⏱️ Timestamps

00:00 — Vicki takes over as host for the summer

06:23 — Anywhere but Here: three women, three different lives at 40

09:29 — The pressure to have it all sorted by a certain age

10:34 — Writing about being child-free at 22

13:30 — Kiss magazine and being everyone's "big sis"

21:51 — Writer's block in her mother-in-law's spare room

24:50 — Painful periods, suspected endometriosis and ovarian cysts

25:50 — A PMDD diagnosis and cyclical depression

26:39 — Oral progesterone and brain fog lifting in two days

28:27 — Listener confessions, answered honestly

35:40 — Botox honesty, and why Laura stopped

Thanks for listening! You can watch the full episode on YouTube here. Don’t forget to follow The Laura Dowling Experience podcast on Instagram @lauradowlingexperience for updates and more information. You can also follow our host, Laura Dowling, @fabulouspharmacist for more insights and tips. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review—it really helps us out! Stay tuned for more great conversations.

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