899. Men tell us what they want in BED: Better sex with Vanessa + Xander Marin

In this episode, Vanessa Marin, renowned sex therapist + her husband Xander Marin get radically honest about self-worth, communication, and desire—including the surprising ways couples lose their sexual connection. They share how they found their way back to intimacy, pleasure, and each other. Ahead, Vanessa + Xander share the messy, vulnerable story of losing their sexual connection, what finally forced them to change, and the surprising ways work, stress, gender roles, and resentment can affect your sex life. We also explore why so many women struggle to receive, and why men may be asking for connection when they’re asking for sex. This conversation will make you rethink what you’ve been prioritizing—and what you’ve been calling “not enough time” for. Vanessa + Xander get real about desire, pleasure, boundaries, initiation, and the small shifts that can completely change the way you experience intimacy with your partner. We also talk about: Why long-term relationships can quietly lose their sexual spark How sex can become a test of whether you’re attractive, wanted, or “enough” Why men may use sex as a way to ask for emotional connection The six different styles of sexual initiation Why women are often socialized to struggle with receiving pleasure How work boundaries transformed Xander’s relationship + sex life Masculinity, femininity, and how gender roles show up in the bedroom Why having a shared purpose can deepen your relationship Scheduling sex without making it feel clinical or transactional Why prioritizing pleasure + connection can actually create more space in your life Resources: Follow @vanessaandxander on Instagram for daily laughs and totally doable tips, and check out Ultimate Foreplay Guide and Ultimate Sex Positions at VanessaAndXander.com. Sponsors: Smileset | Go to https://smileset.com/almost30 to get 35% off. BetterHelp | This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Sign up and get 10% off at https://BetterHelp.com/almost30. Hero Bread | Hero Bread is offering 10% off your order. Go to https://hero.co and use code A30POD at checkout. Naturium | Give your skin the affordable, luxurious glow up it deserves. Go to https://Naturium.com/ALMOST30 for 10% off your first purchase today. The Absorption Company | Start taking supplements your body can actually absorb. Go to https://absorbmore.com and enter ALMOST30 at checkout for up to 35% off your first order. Ritual | Don't settle for less than evidence-based support. Save 25% on your first month at https://Ritual.com/ALMOST30. Upwork | Visit https://Upwork.com right now and post your job for free. Square | Get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at https://square.com/go/almost30! #squarepod To advertise on this podcast please email: partnerships@almost30.com. Learn More: Get your copy of Almost 30, A definitive guide to a life you love for the next decade and beyond. https://almost30.com/book Listen to Morning Microdose! A quick trip into higher consciousness - https://almost30.com/morning-microdose Watch on YouTube - https://youtube.com/Almost30Podcast Join our community - https://www.facebook.com/Almost30podcast/groups Follow: https://instagram.com/almost30podcast https://tiktok.com/@almost30podcast Podcast disclaimer can be found by visiting: almost30.com/disclaimer.