How To Have A Great Sex Life As Parents

Congratulations, you got the kids to sleep! Now lock the door.... this episode is just getting started.

Jay-Jay Feeney and certified somatic sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes sit down for one of the most requested topics yet: how to actually have a sex life once you've got kids. Melissa is three months postpartum with her second baby and deep in the newborn trenches, so this one's personal, honest, and refreshingly unfiltered.

Together they unpack why parenthood doesn't kill your libido so much as it completely rewires it. From spontaneous desire to something Melissa calls "responsive desire," and from candlelit dates to a stolen 90 seconds between nappy changes.

In this episode:

• Why "need-driven touch" (hello, breastfeeding) can leave you touched out and not exactly craving more contact from your partner
• Spontaneous vs. responsive desire, and why waiting to "feel horny" first might be the whole problem
• "Chore Play": how unloading the dishwasher can genuinely be foreplay
• Melissa's raw, three-months-postpartum update on her own body, libido, and relationship
• Why exhaustion, not lack of attraction, is public enemy number one for parents' sex lives
• The gentle way she and her husband reconnected physically after birth, with zero pressure
• The "sex menu": a 5-minute, 10-minute and 30-minute system for intimacy on the busiest nights
• Getting your privacy back (a lock on the door is doing more heavy lifting than you'd think)
• "Sexual currency" - the small everyday moments that quietly build (or kill) desire
• Why obligatory sex causes more long-term damage than just... not having sex
• The weekly relationship check-in that keeps resentment from creeping in

Whether you're in the newborn haze, wrangling a toddler, or years into parenting and just want your spark back, consider this your permission slip to stop chasing your old sex life and start building a new one that actually fits this season.

Next week: How to Have Mind-Blowing Group Sex 👀

How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams.

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How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz

HOSTS:

Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality

Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney

Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach

www.melissavranjes.com

Instagram: @melissavranjes

Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school

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