Tough Love Would Have Killed Me | Erin Khar on Parenting in Recovery

This is an episode about parenting and recovery. How do I talk to my kids about my own story? How do I protect them from repeating my mistakes? How do I give them the feeling of safety that I didn’t have when I was young? What do I do if I recognize patterns of behavior in them, that I’ve tried to fix in myself? Erin Khar is a writer and advocate. She’s the author of the memoir Strung Out and the advice column Ask Erin. She’s thought a lot about these questions and I think she’s got a lot of smart things to say. We talk about the problem with “tough love,” the difficulty of not projecting onto your kids and how to model communication, not perfection. Oh, and accidentally becoming addicted to baseball cards. 00:00:00 Parenting in recovery and honest communication 00:05:00 Early warning signs and childhood anxiety 00:10:00 Separating parental trauma from your child's reality 00:15:00 Breaking intergenerational cycles of family guilt 00:20:00 Challenging tough love with compassionate boundaries 00:25:00 Overcoming shame and the fear of being seen 00:30:00 Processing maternal relationships and inherited pain 00:35:00 Early mental health struggles and childhood abuse 00:40:00 Addiction as emotional control rather than escape 00:45:00 Unresolved adolescent wounds and relationship patterns 00:50:00 Modeling imperfection and accepting parental flaws 00:55:00 Unconditional love and building safe environments #ErinKhar #ParentingSober #LongTermRecovery #EmotionalRegulation #BreakingCycles #ParentingTips #FamilyDynamics #RecoveryMonth #MentalHealth #EmpatheticParenting Topics: Parenting in recovery and emotional growth Inoculating children against trauma Giving up the illusion of parental control Separating your past from your child Open communication and building trust Breaking intergenerational family cycles Reframing addiction and mental health Emotional control versus escape mechanisms Modeling imperfection and vulnerability Creating safe environments for children September recovery month content New episodes release every Wednesday. ➡️ Subscribe to The Small Bow Podcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSmallBow?sub_confirmation=1 ➡️ Join The Small Bow Community: https://www.thesmallbow.com/ ➡️ Get the latest on The Small Bow: https://linktr.ee/THESMALLBOW ➡️ Download The Small Bow Podcast on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-small-bow-podcast/id1576208098