Calm AF | Overthinking, Anxiety & Nervous System Regulation2 Sep

Why Birthdays, Mother's Day & Weekends Can Feel So Disappointing

Why do birthdays, Mother's Day, weekends, or other special occasions leave you feeling so disappointed or resentful? Even when you were really looking forward to them?

In this episode, Kristen talks with Calm AF client Courtney who LOVES birthdays. Hers, yours, everyones.

But for years, Courtney's birthdays came with big expectations and, often, big disappointment. As she and Kristen talk, they realize that her birthday had unknowingly become a pressure filled day: because it was the only day of the year that she was allowed to be special.

She shares with us what changed last year when she stopped waiting for other people to read her mind, make her feel special, or create the perfect day for her and started deciding for herself how she wanted to feel.

You'll hear how Courtney went from feeling disappointed by birthdays to having her best birthday ever, simply by choosing how she wanted to feel and making plans that supported those feelings.

Kristen and Courtney talk about:

• Why birthdays, Mother's Day, weekends, and special occasions can carry so much emotional pressure
• What happens when we make other people responsible for making a day feel special
• The connection between disappointment, expectations, and wanting to feel seen
• How to stop waiting for people to read your mind
• Choosing how you want to feel before deciding what a "good" day should look like
• Celebrating yourself without needing someone else to do it first
• Why buying yourself the flowers, skipping the PTA meeting, or asking for the cake you actually want can be a much bigger deal than it sounds

Because the real shift isn't learning how to plan a better birthday.

It's realizing you don't have to wait for a birthday—or Mother's Day, or the weekend, or anyone else's permission—to feel seen, cared for, and fully yourself.

The Calm AF Community is opening its doors September 23–25. Courtney is joining us as our Community Hostess with the Mostest, and if you want to see what this work and community actually feel like from the inside, join the interest list below.

👉 Join the Calm AF Community interest list

More resources → QUIZ: Find your nervous system pattern

Every nervous system gets stuck in a specific pattern — tired-wired-hypervigilant is one; there are two others. Knowing yours changes everything. Take the 3-minute quiz: Which Nervous System Dysregulation Pattern is Keeping You Stuck?

→ Private Coaching

For direct access and the highest level support + accountability, apply for Private Coaching

→ Daily reminders: Start your day regulated

The Daily Recalibration sends quick, to the point love letters straight to your inbox every morning to help your nervous system stop defaulting to people pleasing, overfunctioning, and self abandonment. Get the Daily Recalibration

→ Listen When...

A short audio to listen to in the moment, when you're lying there spinning — me in your ear, talking to your body, walking you back down. Save it now while you're calm: Listen When You're In A Thought Spinout

→ Full transcript

Read the episode and get the tools from this episode: Ep 373 Why Birthdays, Mothers Day & Weekends Can Feel So Disappointing

Denne episoden er hentet fra en åpen RSS-feed og er ikke publisert av Podme. Den kan derfor inneholde annonser.

Episoder(385)

You're Already Good at Discomfort...Just the Wrong Kind

You're already good at being uncomfortable. You overthink. You walk on eggshells. You manage everyone else's moods. You put yourself last. You beat yourself up. You stay exhausted, resentful, anxious,...

26 Aug 14min

Q: Will I ever truly learn to love myself?

"Will I ever truly learn to love myself? Logically I believe it — but I get so frustrated because I don't fully feel it." A client sent me that specific question this week, and the answer came to me s...

19 Aug 7min

Why Your Brain Always Assumes the Worst (And How to Get Out of Fight-or-Flight)

It's 11:07pm. You're staring at a text you sent three hours ago that still hasn't been answered — and your brain has already decided the relationship is over, they hate you, you're going to lose your ...

12 Aug 22min

Why You're Exhausted All Day but Can't Sleep at Night

You're wiped by 2pm. You count down the hours until you can finally lie down. And then you get into bed — and your brain wakes up. Heart racing a little. Running tomorrow's list. Rewriting the text yo...

5 Aug 17min

A Panic Attack in Costco (Why Your Nervous System Still Freaks Out Sometimes)

You've been doing the work. Learning how to regulate your nervous system. Feeling your feelings instead of trying to fix them. You're basically Calm AF....so why does an email still send you into a f...

22 Jul 12min

Why Venting Makes You Feel Worse (Not Better)

"I just needed to get that out." "I feel better once I verbally process it." If that's the story you tell yourself, this episode is going to poke holes in it. That habit is venting and it makes you fe...

15 Jul 11min

Are You a Good Student or Are You Dysregulated? Why Doing Everything Right Still Isn't Calming Your Anxiety

You've been doing everything right. Setting your intentions. Regulating on purpose. You didn't just listen to the episode on thought spirals — you listened to every episode, on 1.5 speed, because that...

8 Jul 15min