The Art of Cutting People Off: When to Train, When to Let Go

Is cutting people out always the answer? In this Love Note, Rhonda dives into the boundary backlash so many are feeling—and offers a gentle, nuanced guide to holding your ground, communicating with love, and choosing whether a relationship is worth the effort to grow.

Today, let’s talk about something that so many of us are facing: cutting people off. Maybe you’re putting up boundaries for the first time, and you’re not sure what to do when someone runs right through them. Maybe you’re tired, frustrated, and it feels easier to just shut someone out than teach them how to love you differently.

I see this everywhere—not just in my own life, but in my clients and my friends too. Most of us were never taught how to stay connected when things get messy. We weren’t shown how to keep our heart open and communicate, even in the face of repeated boundary-breaking. Instead, we flip the switch—one “whoops” and you’re out.

But is that really what you want? Are there relationships worth “training”—helping someone learn how you need to be loved? And when is it time to let go for good?

If you’ve ever wondered how to draw a line in the sand with kindness—or struggled when your needs haven’t been honored—this episode will give you new language, fresh hope, and permission to practice staying connected, even when it’s hard.

What You’ll Discover

• Why cutting people off has become so common—and why it’s often a sign that we’re still learning healthy boundaries
• The real reason so many people break our boundaries (hint: they’re not thinking about us every minute of the day!)
• Why training someone to love you in a new way takes time, patience, and conscious choice
• The difference between non-negotiable boundaries (safety, abuse) and boundaries worth working through in long-term relationships
• How to decide if a friendship or family tie is worth the “training” and how to have those ongoing conversations gently
• Real-life examples of boundary requests, and what to do when they’re forgotten (again and again)
• The cost of shutting people out after one mistake and what it means for long-term trust and connection

Key Takeaway

You don’t have to cut people out to keep yourself safe—sometimes, the most loving choice is helping someone become the friend or family member you need, one conversation at a time.

Key Quote

“Is the relationship worthy of training? If it is, help your friend remember and build up the skills so you can have the difficult conversations. Ask, ‘How can I help you remember?’”

Resources / Mentions

Journaling Prompt:

What boundaries have I put up lately, and where have I rushed to cut someone off instead of inviting them to learn with me?

Invitation

Before cutting someone off this week, ask yourself if the relationship is worth the training. Start the conversation—and be willing to teach, remind, and stay open, one step at a time.

Did this episode touch your heart? Forward it to a friend who might need it today!

And reply with your own story: Have you ever cut someone off when a boundary was crossed — or managed to “train” a loved one into new and healthier patterns? We’d love to hear from you.

Share your story with @LoveNotesFromRhonda, and make sure you’re subscribed for more gentle, fearless guidance.

Explore Fearless Living tools and daily encouragement at fearlessliving.org.