Control Issues? How To Know If You're The Problem | Love | E555

Control Issues? How To Know If You're The Problem | Love | E555

We can all spot controlling people seeking influence over us. But what about our blind spots? What happens when other people are feeling controlled by us and we don't even realize what we're doing? Turns out what many of us call “helping” can feel controlling to our partners. This is not anything to feel bad about or ashamed of. It's just reality. Control issues rarely feel controlling when we’re doing it. They feel like being right. Keeping things on track. Getting your partner to understand. Making sure nothing goes wrong. In this episode, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby sits down with Seth Bender, M.A., LMFT, licensed marriage and family therapist and relationship coach at Growing Self, to expose what control issues actually look like — including the ones you may not recognize in yourself. You’ll learn: Why control itself isn’t the problem The hidden reason you need things to go your way How to recognize your personal “rattlesnake rattles” before you react When reassurance quietly becomes control Why trying to control your partner backfires How to stop managing them and start managing yourself Because sometimes the hardest relationship truth is this: You may not experience yourself the way your partner experiences you. And being willing to see that could change everything. If this hits close to home, Seth can help. He works with individuals and couples to understand these deeper patterns, rebuild emotional safety, and create real change without blame or shame. Book a free consultation with Seth at growingself.com/seth. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Shopify — Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠ Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs.

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Episoder(558)

Why You Say Yes When You Really Mean No (And How To Start Setting Boundaries With Confidence) | Success | E554

Why You Say Yes When You Really Mean No (And How To Start Setting Boundaries With Confidence) | Success | E554

You said yes. You smiled. You went along with it. And afterward, you thought: Why didn’t I say something? If you struggle to stand up for yourself, Dr. Sunita Sah has a surprising message for you: ...

7 Sep 1h 11min

Hostile Work Environment? Why HR May Not Be On Your Side | Success | E553

Hostile Work Environment? Why HR May Not Be On Your Side | Success | E553

Your workplace feels wrong. But do you actually know what you’re dealing with? If you've been calling your job a hostile work environment, stop…because that phrase carries more weight than you might ...

3 Sep 58min

Should You Marry Them? How To Know If Your Relationship Is Built To Last | Love | E552

Should You Marry Them? How To Know If Your Relationship Is Built To Last | Love | E552

You love them. So why can’t you shake the feeling that something might be wrong? Nothing is bad enough to leave. There’s no glaring red flag. You’re happy… mostly. But when you imagine getting engage...

31 Aug 58min

Can’t Shake That Feeling? What Your Dark Emotions Are Trying to Tell You | Happiness | E551

Can’t Shake That Feeling? What Your Dark Emotions Are Trying to Tell You | Happiness | E551

The feeling you can’t shake isn’t going away. And there’s a reason. The regret that keeps coming back. The boredom you feel in a life you actually love. The shame that whispers something terrible abo...

27 Aug 1h 5min

Mental Load: When You Love Your Partner but Resent the Hell Out of Them | Love | E550

Mental Load: When You Love Your Partner but Resent the Hell Out of Them | Love | E550

If you’re doing EVERYTHING in your relationship and starting to resent the hell out of your partner for it…we need to talk. You’re the one who notices. Remembers. Plans. Worries. Follows up. Makes su...

24 Aug 1h 16min

Moral Injury: How to Stop Punishing Yourself for the Past | Happiness | E549

Moral Injury: How to Stop Punishing Yourself for the Past | Happiness | E549

What if the thing you’re most ashamed of isn’t proof that you’re a bad person…but proof that you care deeply about being a good one? If there’s something you did (or didn’t do) that you still replay ...

20 Aug 53min

Feeling Paralyzed? Why You Can't Make a Decision (Even When You Have Great Options) | Happiness | E548

Feeling Paralyzed? Why You Can't Make a Decision (Even When You Have Great Options) | Happiness | E548

The problem isn't that you can't decide. It's that you have too many options. If every big decision feels exhausting, there's a reason for it, and it has nothing to do with willpower. I know because ...

17 Aug 51min

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