MASKING

where I talk about masking pain and fear. what masking is how it works. how it can trigger nightmares as it has done this evening. and I talk about how the death of my mobility scooter a couple of weeks ago is throwing me off a mitochondrial deterioration cliff

I also talk about how I amal massively deteriorating and that is definitely raising my fear levels as I will run out of GoFundMe money super fast if I end up permanently back on the intravenous. I booked in for an appointment for one with the hopes of restabilizing me. but if being outside my energy envelope because of lack of mobility scooter has once again caused me to have reduced glutathione production or worse I have stopped producing it at all. well, that's a death sentence. because the current GoFundMe money is not going to get me very far. and between inflation and the tariff situation and no news publication on The horizon to tell my story, the GoFundMe has been very quiet. which is frustrating because 10,000 people donating $5 would get me restabilized and give me time and energy to keep at the system.

to keep advocating.

to keep fighting

but time is what I do not have

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Episoder(165)

Apocalypse Nightmare

a month away from running out of GoFundMe. at least that's the amount of money I for sure know gets me to mid-november. I don't know if I can stretch it further especially as I'm still bouncing back f...

19 Okt 18min

Roadblocks and bright spots

where I talk about the push me pull you of me meaning emotional balance versus Health balance and struggling of course with financial deficits that make both of those hard. and then roadblocking all o...

14 Okt 19min

Melty Downy

The perils of attempting to mask how sick I am and how scared I am about it but at the same time needing to be able to compartmentalize there's a bright light though. we (myself plus two wonderful vol...

30 Sep 22min

Healing Crisis

it just realized I didn't really explain in this episode what I mean by healing crisis. for me it's been when a treatment makes some symptoms worse but ultimately improves everything. things get a lit...

23 Sep 16min

Grace

I was already thinking about Grace but then rewatching the documentary #YOU ARE HERE: A COME FROM AWAY STORY about the planes that landed in gander Newfoundland on September 11th. Being from Newfoundl...

12 Sep 37min

I'M BACK

I'm back . my August hiatus from advocacy (because I was starting to melt down out of the pressure of a difficulty coming from so many angles) is over. although it wasn't a hiatus from a whole bunch o...

2 Sep 16min

medical instruction REST

it won't let me post all of what I posted in the GoFundMe update so here's that link if you want to read the rest ( https://gofund.me/6d981312 )I'm hanging in best I can. But I'm definitely burnt out ...

7 Aug 6min