EP: Bart Barkley - From Ritz-Carlton to Most People Don't: The Power of Being Seen and Humanality

Host Mark Pattison sits down with Bart Barkley, founder of Most People Don't, former hospitality executive with 16 years at Ritz Carlton and 10 years at Hyde Hotel, and international speaker who travels the world encouraging audiences between 40 to 4000 people to do what most people don't do, revealing why a rejection email in New York City forced him to look up from his phone and see a homeless man holding a sign that said I might as well be invisible which taught him that getting out of your own head and seeing others is the antidote to self pity, how his Penn State volleyball coach Tom Tate gave him a $500 scholarship even after he left the team and connected him to a JV coaching position because he saw Bart as a human being first and a player second, and why every interaction from checking into a hotel to ordering coffee to shutting the door on your nine year old son is an opportunity to make someone feel either cared for or processed and choosing which side of that filter you're on determines the quality of your relationships and ultimately your happiness. In this deeply insightful and practical conversation between two high achievers who understand that service to others creates meaning far beyond personal accomplishment, Bart shares his extraordinary journey from growing up lower middle class in Pittsburgh and never walking into a Ritz Carlton until he interviewed for a position to discovering that luxury hospitality isn't about coming from luxury but about noticing anticipating and over delivering on people's needs, to learning that Ritz Carlton's culture wasn't a cult but rather a tribe of like minded heart minded people with a service mentality who celebrated wild stories like security dressing up a forgotten teddy bear in sunglasses and spa cucumber slices before mailing it first class back to a three year old, to standing in New York Penn Station after receiving a devastating rejection email and choosing to put his phone away and approach a homeless man named Q who didn't want money for a sandwich or whiskey but simply wanted to be seen which transformed both their days, to creating the Humanality System that teaches 11 pillars of making people feel cared for seen valued and heard in a world that has become too competitive highly transactional and over processed. This episode offers a masterclass in understanding that one act of kindness a day for seven days in a row will increase your personal happiness by 8% so giving good service and surprising others actually makes you feel better which is why you should do it, demonstrating why mid level managers promoted during COVID without any leadership training have created a vacuum where people process customers instead of caring for them as evidenced by baristas who say welcome in without looking up and hotel front desk staff who inform you that you're the last task before they go home, how his Penn State coach never gave him much advice on improving as a player but constantly helped him improve as a human being which included getting him a JV coaching job where Bart learned to see each kid and play the 10th best player because his grandparents were coming to town even though the team was losing, and why his upcoming children's book Most Gorillas Don't But You Are Not Most Gorillas tells the story of Plum the Purple Gorilla who represents Bart himself learning from Grandma Gray who represents his 91 year old mother that you don't need to run from your worries or chase happiness over the next mountain because everything you need is right where your feet are in the present moment. Bart opens up about being the 12th best player out of 13 on the Penn State men's volleyball team that finished third in the country and realizing his junior year that with 18 people on the roster and only 12 traveling he was sitting on the sidelines watching six on six practice which led him to tell Coach Tate he needed to leave only to have the coach give him a small $500 scholarship and say come to practice anytime you're invited, the pivotal moment carrying gratitude stones in his pocket and approaching the homeless gentleman Q in New York who held a sign saying I might as well be invisible and giving him a stone while saying I see you which made Q kiss it hold it to his heart and cry because all he wanted was to be seen not money, why hundreds of people passed by Q heading to Penn Station because it's easier not to stop and easier to stay consumed in your own thoughts than to pause and look up to see what you can do for someone else, learning at Ritz Carlton that finding your tribe of people with similar heart minded service mentality creates a contagious culture when every department at every hotel talks about the same motto on the same day like we are ladies and gentlemen serving ladies and gentlemen, the coffee shop experience where the chime signals welcome in but employees never look at you then flip the screen asking for a gratuity before the drink comes out...