24 Years of Loving Her Son Through Mental Illness and Addiction

Ann Marie Farino’s oldest son, Richard, was charismatic, funny, deeply empathetic, and the kind of kid who could walk into a room and connect with just about anyone. But beginning around age 12, he also struggled with depression, anxiety, and other mental health challenges that eventually gave way to addiction. For years, Ann Marie did everything she could to help—therapists, schools, treatment programs, boundaries, second chances, and countless “deep breath mom moments” when there was no obvious right answer. Eventually, Richard got sober and stayed that way for the final three years of his life. He was working, building a life, and preparing to get married when, in June 2016, he died by suicide at just 24 years old.

In this conversation, Ann Marie and Heather talk honestly about what it means to love a child through mental illness and addiction, the limits of what even a fiercely devoted parent can fix, and the complicated reality of losing someone to suicide. Ann Marie shares why, even during Richard’s years of sobriety, part of her always feared what might happen, and how she came to understand that life had simply become too painful for him. They also talk about the joy and humor that existed alongside the chaos, the “divine nudges” that continue to make Ann Marie feel Richard’s presence, and the bench in his hometown that has become an unexpected place of connection and remembrance. Nearly ten years after Richard’s death, Ann Marie has learned that grief and joy can occupy the same life—and that the love between a mother and her son doesn’t end when he dies.

Resources & Ways to Connect

• Ann Marie Farino Website: https://annmariefarino.com/

• Chronic Chaos: A Son’s Addiction, A Mother’s Love, and Her Quest to Find Joy: https://amplifypublishinggroup.com/product/nonfiction/health-medicine-and-wellness/mental-health/chronic-chaos/

• Jake’s Help from Heaven Website: http://jakeshelpfromheaven.org/

• Jake’s Help from Heaven Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jakeshelp

• Jake’s Help from Heaven Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jakeshelp

• APOY Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aplaceofyespodcast

• Heather’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heathersstraughter

• Our YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@aplaceofyespodcast

• For more of Heather’s writing and thoughts: https://ohheather.substack.com/

• Everything’s Jakey (Substack): https://everythingsjakey.substack.com/