Inside The Walled Garden | FILE_21 | Mystery Boys

🎟️ Duncan Trussell Tour: http://duncantrussell.com/tour🎙️ Kurt Metzger Tour: https://punchup.live/kurtmetzger🦊 Buster (Tanner's Friend From School): https://instagram.com/mysterybuster666 SPONSORS: Head to https://Fabletics.com/MYSTERY for 70–80% off everything as a new VIP. Welcome to Mystery Boys, the podcast from YMH Studios hosted by Kurt Metzger and Duncan Trussell. This week the boys refuse to sleep anywhere but inside their walled garden, where it's protected and the critics can't get in. Except one finally did. Comedy writer Seth Simons reviewed Mystery Boys on his Substack, and the boys are calling it a career highlight. They go through the review line by line: Kurt's old Facebook post, his Ukraine joke from his Gas Digital half hour, and the accidental title "Alex Jones Still Has Shooters." Then they offer Seth an open invitation to the show, a writing job, a custom outfit, and a full session with Duncan's new mobile grooming service, oatmeal bath included. Kurt gives a dramatic reading of Seth's poem "Poem After Collapse," and the boys ask everyone to subscribe to his Substack and only say nice things, because Mystery Boys does not harass. From there it's dopamine maxxing and the DoorDash edging app where your food never shows up, Peter Thiel, Trump naming everything America the way Musk names everything X, Kamala Harris explaining the war in Ukraine, and America's latest bomb sale to Israel. The mysteries get darker when Apple patents AirPods that read your brain activity, the boys watch the Davos brain-transparency talk, and they explain why Orwell's 1984 was simple compared to what we have now. Then they investigate whether Candace Owens is a lesbian and run the photo through an AI check (it's not her). Also: the thicc ghost Booh Booty, the physics of ectoplasm, the Tibetan yoga of dream and sleep, Kubla Khan, the rainbow bridge, scientists sending your consciousness through a wormhole, the Montauk Project and the original title of Stranger Things, the lizard brain, Kurt's favorite anime Fist of the North Star, Kurt's movie pitch for Rob Schneider, the Chris Hansen hit piece and why you shouldn't let your kids on Roblox. This is not a conspiracy podcast. This is a mystery appreciation podcast. Mystery Boys File_021 https://www.instagram.com/duncantrussell https://www.instagram.com/kurtmetzgercomedy https://www.instagram.com/mysteryboyspodcast https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:55 - Seth Simons, Our Biggest Fan 00:34:27 - Dopamine Maxxing and DoorDash Edging 00:45:55 - Mystery Boys Poem Readings 00:52:31 - Trump's Ultimate Rug Pull 00:55:49 - Kamala Harris Explaining The Ukrainian War 01:02:03 - We Are Giving BOMBS to ISRAEL?!? 01:05:34 - Apple Is READING Your MIND 01:23:42 - Is Candace Owens A Lesbian? 01:29:16 - Proof Of Candace Owens Lesbian? 01:36:39 - The Thicc Ghost, Booh Booty 01:49:13 - Scientists Putting Your Consciousness Through A Wormhole 02:14:30 - Kurps Favorite Anime 02:22:52 - Hand Free Hassidic Gooning 02:25:51 - Kurts Pitch For Rob Schneider 02:30:34 - Chris Hansen Hit Piece Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices