Be Direct for Better Sex

I like to think of Lewis Howes and Lisa Bilyeu as leaders in the self-awareness world, especially when it comes to relationships. Both Lewis and Lisa are incredibly successful: she went from housewife to cofounder of a billion-dollar business, he went from picked last for dodgeball to pro athlete, New York Times bestselling author and uber successful podcaster. But here’s the thing: success is empty if you don’t learn to like yourself, and both are intimately familiar with that truth.  On today’s Best Of episode, I’m pairing these two voices to bring you the most powerful advice on self-love and fulfilling relationships. We hear from Lisa, who tells the story of radically changing her role in her relationship, and Lewis, who tells the story of radically hustling for respect (and getting it) -- only to realize he needed to learn how to respect himself. In this show, you’ll learn how to ask your partner for exactly what you need, how to break the habit of “testing” partners, how to identify the masks you wear for the world, and why sex transforms after you’ve taken the time to understand who you are - and love yourself, no hustle required.  Find Lewis Howes here: LewisHowes.com Instagram @lewishowes Twitter @lewishowes TikTok @lewishowes Find Lisa Bilyeu here: lisabilyeu.com Instagram @lisabilyeu Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

26 Nov 20211h 5min

It’s frustrating but true: sex isn’t a button that we can automatically turn on and off. In fact, “sex” is a catch-all term for arousal, body exploration, play, and erotic collaboration—not simply penetration. So what do you do when you want to get naughty, but your body isn’t on-board?  On today’s Ask Emily show, we’re taking a look at the body’s response to sex, and figuring out what to do when it shuts down. Say you’ve got a gag reflex around oral: does that mean no blowjobs? Nah - I’ve got a trick for that. How about vaginismus, when the vulva clenches so tightly at penetration, that sex is super painful? I’ve got advice! Finally, let’s talk about your partners: is it kosher to use old toys with a new lover? How do you broach the subject? And when you’re newly married, but the sex has serious problems, where do you turn? At the root of good sex is good communication, and on today’s episode, we challenge everyone to articulate their needs, and listen to their partners. Show Notes: Clean your toys with Uvee San Diego Sexual Medicine Dr. Sherry's She-ology Dilators System Jo Lubricants Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

24 Nov 202134min

Before we’re experts at anything, we’re all humble beginners. And whether we’re learning how to date, learning how to talk about sex, or learning how to pleasure a partner, it can all seem pretty intimidating — enough to make us second-guess ourselves. “Do they just like me as a friend?” “Am I weird for wanting more lovers?” “Will I teach my child the right things about sex?” On today’s Ask Emily show, everyone’s looking for clarity in the sexual unknown, starting with: how can I tell if they’re into me? Whether it’s an office crush and you’re trying to figure out if they like you back, or you’re about to go on a date and worried you’ll be friend-zoned, I give you tips to put your best foot forward. How about if it’s a new sexual act, and you don’t know how you feel about it — or if you should even try it? I offer ways to figure out what YOU want…and not just what your lover wants. Finally, sexual evolutions in long-term relationships: what to do when you’re filled with old resentment? Is there a new conversation you could have with your partner? How about when you want to open up…but your nesting partner is scared of you having new lovers? We’re venturing into uncharted sex territory today, but don’t worry—we all come out on the other side, with fresh ways forward. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

20 Nov 202138min

Everyone is talking about breathwork these days. But for PleasureMuse Dolly Josette, breath opens an entire world of erotic sensation -- and it’s a world you (yes, you) already possess. So if full-body orgasms sound like fun, you’ll love this conversation, because guess what? Dolly shows us how to visit that pleasure-filled world, all on our own. Dolly’s been recognized as one of today’s most innovative Sexological Bodyworkers by Cosmopolitan and Hustler Magazines, but more importantly, she helps women and couples navigate their sexual evolution, wake up from numbness, and live more orgasmic lives. In this episode, we cover a ton of ground, including how to hack your nervous system for better sex, how to become a great masturbator, what exactly *is* somatic sex therapy, and why so many people, especially vulva-owners, are trained to numb from the waist down. (Spoiler alert: her clients definitely aren’t numb anymore.)  Find Dolly online: pleasuremuse.com Learn about orgasm vs. climax Get Dolly's 25-minute Vulva Hug Meditation - use code SEXWITHEMILY for 20% off Instagram @pleasuremuse Show Notes: Find certified sexological bodyworkers in your area at sexologicalbodyworkers.org Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

17 Nov 20211h 6min

Trust: it’s the glue of relationships, even the more casual ones. Can I trust that this person is safe? That they aren’t going to hurt me? Can I trust myself, that I’ll know how to navigate this situation? These are the questions we all ask ourselves, even if it’s subconscious. Our bodies and brains regularly scan for danger, but when you’re wearing rose-colored glasses, sometimes the red flags just look like flags. So on today’s Ask Emily show, I take your questions on trust and safety, because as we know, safety is the precursor to hot sex. So what happens when you’re having mind-blowing sex with a partner, but catch them chatting with sex workers online? What happens when you’ve been love-bombed, by someone who isn’t what they seem? Or maybe you’ve had past relationship trauma, and don’t trust new partners to take it slow with you? We get into all of it. Finally: do you trust yourself to facilitate a hookup? Do you trust that you can help a partner heal from sex-negative messaging? These are the questions I’m exploring today, and trust ME: by the end, you’ll walk away with some great tools for sticky situations.    Show Notes: Episode: First Date First Orgasm First Threesome Find out about EMDR therapy at EMDRIA.org Book: For Yourself By Lonnie Barbach   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

13 Nov 202147min

You’ve heard this one before: the sexiest quality in the world is confidence. And that’s true...but...it’s not always easy to muster. Confidence is an inside job, but here’s the good news. Once you generate it on your own terms, life - and sex - gets a whole lot easier. So on today’s Ask Emily show, I’m joined by my dear friend and former co-host Menace from The Woody Show, as we talk confidence, jealousy, Pete Davidson, and self-image. What happens when you adore your partner, but can’t stop thinking about their high body count? Or want to have hot phone sex, but don’t know where to start? We talk through both. How about when you feel too short to find a great partner, or don’t know how to be dominant in bed? We help you think through both. Finally: discovering your partner’s can of delay spray. Our listener wonders whether he’s sleeping with someone else; we think it’s time for open communication. Find Menace here: What's New Podcast The Woody Show Diego Hot Sauce Instagram Twitter Show Notes: Try my free Yes, No, Maybe List We-Vibe Moxie, Bond (Cock Ring) and Touch Episode: Talk Dirty To Me w/ Joanna Angel Promescent: Better In Bed Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

10 Nov 202137min

When you hear the words “pelvic floor,” what comes to mind? A visit to the OB-GYN, maybe? The truth is, the pelvic floor is a hidden superstar of sexual pleasure, for vulva AND penis owners. We all have a pelvic floor, but the problem is, we don’t always know how to take care of it. That changes today because you’re about to hear from the pelvic floor expert herself, Dr. Patricia Wallace. In this episode I talk to Dr. Wallace about “living your best life in your best body,” and how focusing on the pelvic floor can unlock our feel-good potential. We discuss the intricacies of orgasm because guess what? When you strengthen the pelvic floor, your orgasm contractions get more intense, and tiny muscles you didn’t even know you had amplified your pleasure. We can also heal pain and prolapse through pelvic floor rehab, and vulva owners will find a lot of relief hearing Dr. Wallace's thoughts on aging and hormones. Turns out, you can nurture your hormonal health well into menopause, without scary side effects! Leave it to a doctor to put our minds (and our vulvas, and our penises) at ease. Find out more about Dr. Wallace here: pelvichealthwellness.com Facebook Instagram Find out more about Emsella treatments here: bodybybtl.com Facebook Instagram Twitter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

6 Nov 202139min

Sex is play, but certain sex positions feel more like work, right? Whether it’s reverse cowgirl or 69, you might feel a bit awkward...you don’t exactly know what you’re doing...you’re trying not to throw your back out. But that doesn’t mean you have to keep doing the same, safe positions over and over again! That’s why today’s show is all about helping you experiment, and making the most challenging positions feel smooth and easy -- no physics degree required. Learn how to make reverse cowgirl less confusing and more sexy, how to execute the Kivin Method on a vulva owner, how to 69 without feeling like you’re multitasking, and how to have steamy, sexy shower sex without breaking anything. Plus: we reveal the most-searched sex positions by U.S. state! Pennsylvanians love their oral, and those Texans are pretty dexterous, y’all. Show Notes: Episode: The “Bottom” Line On Anal w/ Dr. Evan Goldstein Try our free Pleasure Planner Episode: Sex Goals For The Win Article: How to Master These Awkward Sex Positions Article: Mind-Blowing Oral Sex in Under 5 Minutes: The Kivin Method Je Joue Mimi  Ditto Anal Plug Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

3 Nov 202140min