Be Severe Only With Yourself
The Daily Stoic24 Okt 2018

Be Severe Only With Yourself

One of the things that separates us from other people--indeed that has been responsible for our success--is our ability to be strict and self-disciplined. Where other people are fine making excuses or taking shortcuts, we are not. Where other people wing it or do what’s easiest, taking the path of least resistance, we don’t. That’s really the essence of Stoicism and why those of us who have committed to doing the hard work have been able to get so much out of it.

But it can be a problem when people like us come into positions of leadership or become fathers and mothers. Suddenly it’s not just our own behavior we’re regulating, we’re now responsible for other people as well. It’s tempting to try to hold them to the very same standards we hold ourselves to, but this is not only unfair (they didn’t sign up for that), it’s often counterproductive. It burns people out, and it sets you up for disappointment. Or worse, disillusionment.

This observation from Marcus Aurelius’s most thoughtful biography, by Ernest Renan, explains the right way to do it.

“The consequence of austere philosophy might have produced stiffness and severity. But here it was that the rare goodness of the nature of Marcus Aurelius shone out in all its brilliancy. His severity was confined only to himself.”

That’s exactly the key. Your standards are for you. This philosophy is about your self-improvement. It’s about being strict with yourself and forgiving of other people. That’s not only the kind way to be, it’s the only effective way to be. It’s the only defense to being constantly upset and let down.


See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Episoder(2959)

Beware the Voice in Your Head

Beware the Voice in Your Head

Seneca tells the story of the philosopher Crates, who was walking in Athens when he saw a young man talking to no one around. “What are you doing?” Crates asked. “I am talking to myself,” the man repl...

19 Mar 20192min

What It Really Means To Be A Slave

What It Really Means To Be A Slave

Epictetus was born a slave. Quite literally, his name means, in Greek, acquired. Ultimately, he came to be the property of a man named Epaphroditus, who kept Epictetus chained up long enough that he b...

18 Mar 20193min

The Most Important Thing: Realizing That We Are All One

The Most Important Thing: Realizing That We Are All One

Let’s take a second to meditate on this observation from John Cage, the experimental musician and student of Zen philosophy:“That one sees that the human race is one person (all of its members parts o...

15 Mar 20193min

Zoom Out...And Laugh

Zoom Out...And Laugh

The way to make all your problems, even the really vexing and painful ones, seem less severe? It comes from Seneca. All you have to do, he says, is:“Draw further back and laugh.”When you zoom out far ...

14 Mar 20192min

Why You Should Read Biographies

Why You Should Read Biographies

“I don’t have time to read a book that long,” you might say when someone recommends one of those epic volumes from the Ron Chernows and Robert Caros and Stacy Schiffs of the world. And Alban Butler’s ...

13 Mar 20192min

What Does It Feel Like To Lose All Your Money?

What Does It Feel Like To Lose All Your Money?

Last year, the writer Chuck Palahniuk received the kind of news that all of us dread. Someone he trusted—the book agent who had represented him for years—had been slowly but steadily robbing him blind...

12 Mar 20193min

Always, Ever The Same

Always, Ever The Same

In his wonderful book, The Rise and Fall of Adam and Eve, the Pulitzer Prize winning scholar Stephen Greenblatt spends a lot of time analyzing a pivotal moment early in the life of Saint Augustine, wh...

11 Mar 20193min

Take What’s Good, Ignore The Rest

Take What’s Good, Ignore The Rest

One of Seneca’s most powerful strategies comes from his time as a Senator. Speaking again of a thought from Epicurus, with which he only partly agrees, Seneca explains that he is so readily able to dr...

8 Mar 20194min

Populært innen Business og økonomi

stopp-verden
lydartikler-fra-aftenposten
dine-penger-pengeradet
e24-podden
rss-penger-polser-og-politikk
rss-borsmorgen-okonominyhetene
pengepodden-2
pengesnakk
livet-pa-veien-med-jan-erik-larssen
utbytte
morgenkaffen-med-finansavisen
liberal-halvtime
tid-er-penger-en-podcast-med-peter-warren
finansredaksjonen
stormkast-med-valebrokk-stordalen
lederpodden
rss-markedspuls-2
rss-sunn-okonomi
okonomiamatorene
rss-politisk-preik