The Airing of Fears and Anxieties

"I was in bed, just writing my list, and I was just listing all the things that I loved about that moment. And it was all simple things that didn't cost anything. And it made my morning really nice, and it really did set me up for a good day." — Emily, 2 Days Until Uterus Eviction Day

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In This Episode:

• I recorded this episode on my way to bed, which you can tell by the sleepy voice. The room was dark and it was just me, my phone, and my fears.

• I thought it was important to make an episode when my anxiety was at its worst: late at night. This is when the world's quiet and dark and it's easier to go inward and focus on those fears and anxieties.

• This may have been the last day wearing "hard pants" for a while! In the next few weeks, my wardrobe will most likely consist of sweatpants, nightgowns, and maybe leggings.

• I'm hoping going into surgery will be the mental reset I've been craving. To be able to shut off my brain for a while.

• It's been weird being off my usual vitamins and supplements, including my allergy pill, which I'm only now finding out I rely on frequently.

• This may be the ONLY sniffle this podcast editor has intentionally left in! As a general rule for podcast editing, I remove mouth noises, coughs, sneezes, etc. BUT because I mentioned I wasn't allowed to take my usual allergy meds before surgery, I felt leaving in the sniffle and the explanation that follows.

• I am allowed (and prescribed) stool softeners, which I got the tip to start taking a few days before the surgery so it can start to work its magic well before it's needed.

• There are a lot of doubts and fears about surgery and the outcome swirling in my head at the moment, so thanks for coming along for the ride aboard the Hot Mess Express. (Choo Choo!)

• I'm also worried about the long-term effects of Adenomyosis and letting it get as bad as it did for as long as I did.

• But there are a lot of things I'm grateful for and ways to look at this condition and how it's affected me. It's a heartbreaking condition and there are worse stories than the one you're currently hearing, for sure.

• There are also great success stories I'm still clinging to :) As much as I'm doubtful and scared, there's another part of me that's excited and hopeful that I'd also like to acknowledge.

• Podcast Mentioned: Women & ADHD: Korra O'Neill: ADHD & biohacking our menstrual cycles

• I'm looking forward to the next few days when I'll be taking a break from work-work-work and doing a chocolate-making class with some friends.

Note from Future-Emily:

There's a spot where I mention "I haven't seen a general practitioner in a while," and I wanted to let you all know I made that appointment this week, actually :) Yeah, yeah, it's months (years!) overdue, and yes, you'd think I would have learned from ::gestures broadly:: this entire podcast how important it is to make doctor's appointments when I need to make them, but hey, those phone calls are tough! But I did it :) If you're reading this and like me, please take this as your sign to make that call (or at least take one tiny step toward making that call, like visiting the website for info or even planning when to call and putting it on your calendar.

Additional Links and Resources:

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• Adenomyosis - Symptoms — Mayo Clinic

• Adenomyosis - Diagnosis + Treatment — Mayo Clinic

• Adenomyosis: A Significantly Neglected and Misunderstood Disorder - Book by Maria Yeager

• Adenomyosis Advice Association Facebook Group — Facebook

• Helpful Reddit r/hysterectomy Post To Read If You Have Pre-Op Anxiety — MamaO2D4

• HysterSisters — Hysterectomy Support & Stories

• Tara Brach's Podcast and Radical Acceptance Book

• Adenomyosis at hysterectomy: prevalence, patient characteristics, clinical profile and histopatholgical finding — PubMed

• Adenomyosis: An update regarding its diagnosis and clinical features — PubMed

Disclaimer: This podcast is based on personal experience and should not be taken as medical advice. Resources are provided for you to look into further and talk with your medical support team about.

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