r/Offmychest I'm Divorcing Husband Over His FARTS

r/Maliciouscompliance Ever stand behind a Karen at a grocery store? They're always in such a hurry because their life is just SO important! This Karen gets pissy that the grocery store clerk isn't following all of the rules, even though this particular rule is a huge waste off time. The clerk happily complies with Karen and wastes the Karen's time by giving her exactly what she asked for! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

24 Sep 202117min

r/Maliciouscompliance OP has a blue collar job laying pipe at a large corporation. His white collar boss gets pissed off at OP because OP dared to enter the white collar worker building to retrieve some important blueprints. His boss bans OP from the building forever, which means that none of the workers have the blueprints to lay any of the pipes. The workers have nothing to do for a month, which results in a staggering $2,000,000 in wasted labor costs. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

23 Sep 202119min

r/Choosingbeggars This young lady is looking for a sperm donor! Are you the lucky guy? All you have to do is pay her the low price of about $180,000 over 18 years! It's the deal of the century! This woman wants you to knock her up, but also pay child support throughout the child's entire life. Oh, and did I mention that you will have NO parental rights? Why on earth would anybody take her up on this insane offer? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

22 Sep 202119min

r/Entitledparents In today's episode, OP discovers that his own mother secretly stole the dog that he had as a child, and then sold it to a man in the next town over. Later in life, OP happens to cross paths with the man, who graciously gives the dog back to OP after OP proves that he owned the dog. OP's mother was shocked when she realized that her crime had been discovered! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

21 Sep 202122min

r/TIFU In today's episode, OP experiences what can only be described as a date from hell. He hooks up with a girl, and in the middle of the night she starts acting really weird. He kicks her out, and she collapses in the hallway of his apartment complex. He then drags her lifeless body to the front desk to get help. The paramedics arrived, and she was clinically dead for a few minutes! Luckily they were able to revive her, and then the girl asked OP for a second date. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

20 Sep 202122min

r/Maliciouscompliance OP works at a grocery store that's on a military base. One day, a woman comes in and tries to pay off her store credit. OP's computer says that the customer is deceased, so he informs the woman that she is dead. The woman is understandably confused, but is excited when she realizes that dead people don't have to pay off debts! She makes a new account and OP starts calling her "zombie!' Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

19 Sep 202118min

r/AmITheA**hole In today's episode, OP is a young woman who is constantly getting harassed by a male cousin. This guy just won't leave OP alone and keeps sending her inappropriate images. She begs him to stop! When he refuses, OP decides to take the nuclear option and share all of his illicit images with his family group chat! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

18 Sep 202119min

r/Maliciouscompliance In today's episode, OP buys a window seat on an airplane. When he arrives at his seat, he discovers that his window seat has been stolen by another passenger, leaving OP to sit in the middle seat. OP happily complies because he wants to sit next to his wife in the aisle seat anyway. Justice is swift for the seat thief because the stewardess gives OP a gift bag thinking that he was the seat thief! The seat thief was livid that OP get the prize instead of him! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Sep 202118min