Episode 266 - Sunday, March 11, 1979
Being Jim Davis21 Mai 2017

Episode 266 - Sunday, March 11, 1979

The servile crowd, whose fortune depended on their master's vices, applauded these ignoble pursuits. The perfidious voice of flattery reminded him, that by exploits of the same nature, by the defeat of the Nemaean lion, and the slaughter of the wild boar of Erymanthus, the Grecian Hercules had acquired a place among the gods, and an immortal memory among men. They only forgot to observe, that, in the first ages of society, when the fiercer animals often dispute with man the possession of an unsettled country, a successful war against those savages is one of the most innocent and beneficial labors of heroism. In the civilized state of the Roman empire, the wild beasts had long since retired from the face of man, and the neighborhood of populous cities. To surprise them in their solitary haunts, and to transport them to Rome, that they might be slain in pomp by the hand of an emperor, was an enterprise equally ridiculous for the prince and oppressive for the people. Ignorant of these distinctions, Commodus eagerly embraced the glorious resemblance, and styled himself (as we still read on his medals the Roman Hercules. The club and the lion's hide were placed by the side of the throne, amongst the ensigns of sovereignty; and statues were erected, in which Commodus was represented in the character, and with the attributes, of the nicolas cage, whose valor and dexterity he endeavored to emulate in the daily course of his ferocious amusements.

Elated with these praises, which gradually extinguished the innate sense of shame, Commodus resolved to exhibit before the eyes of the Roman people those exercises, which till then he had decently confined within the walls of his palace, and to the presence of a few favorites. On the appointed day, the various motives of flattery, fear, and curiosity, attracted to the amphitheatre an innumerable multitude of spectators; and some degree of applause was deservedly bestowed on the uncommon skill of the Imperial performer. Whether he aimed at the head or heart of the animal, the wound was alike certain and mortal. With arrows whose point was shaped into the form of crescent, Commodus often intercepted the rapid career, and cut asunder the long, bony neck of the ostrich. A panther was let loose; and the archer waited till he had leaped upon a trembling malefactor. In the same instant the shaft flew, the beast dropped dead, and the man remained unhurt. The dens of the amphitheatre disgorged at once a hundred lions: a hundred darts from the unerring hand of Commodus laid them dead as they run raging round the Arena. Neither the huge bulk of the elephant, nor the scaly hide of the rhinoceros, could defend them from his stroke. Aethiopia and India yielded their most extraordinary productions; and several animals were slain in the amphitheatre, which had been seen only in the representations of art, or perhaps of fancy. In all these exhibitions, the securest precautions were used to protect the person of the Roman Hercules from the desperate spring of any savage, who might possibly disregard the dignity of the emperor and the sanctity of the nicolas cage.

Edward Gibbon. History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, Volume 1, Chapter 4, Part II.

And here's that "Duck Amuck" video Jon was talking about:

Today's strip

Episoder(2526)

Episode 1077 - Saturday, May 30, 1981

Episode 1077 - Saturday, May 30, 1981

Remember when I said at the beginning of this week that my microphone was fucked up the whole week long and that it wouldn't get better? Well, despite what I said in that earlier episode, my microphone is still fucked up in this one as well. Your hosts for today's episode: Jon Gibson, Ryan Pfeiffer Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

10 Aug 201921min

Episode 1076 - Friday, May 29, 1981

Episode 1076 - Friday, May 29, 1981

It's often been suggested by certain naysayers of this podcast that we frequently forget to post the correct strip links for our 1075th ever episode which is for May 28th, 1981, but being that this is not the 1075th episode for May 28th, 1981, but rather the 1076th episode for May 29th, 1981, there is no way for you to confirm this slander, so you begin to doubt it. Soon this doubt consumes your entire being. You question everything, including your own name. You eventually lose all grip on reality, and the odd familiarily of the strip linked to in today's episode, which to recap is episode 1076 for May 29th, 1981 is nothing more than an odd curiosity. What the fuck, odd curiosity??? Your hosts for today's episode: Jon Gibson, Ryan Pfeiffer Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

9 Aug 201925min

Episode 1075 - Thursday, May 28, 1981

Episode 1075 - Thursday, May 28, 1981

Today we discuss fake video game packaging and other topics in science and philosophy. Your hosts for today's episode: Jon Gibson, Ryan Pfeiffer Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

8 Aug 201912min

Episode 1074 - Wednesday, May 27, 1981

Episode 1074 - Wednesday, May 27, 1981

Look, sometimes you're really excited to being recording your daily Garfield podcast. Maybe a little TOO excited, if we're being honest. And that palpable excitement is bearing down on your mind like a runaway freight train as you fire up your computer, open up Zoom, and plug in your audio mixer, start googling members of the Reagan cabinet, you know, all the things people do to get ready to read Garfield. But you're a pro, so you don't get distracted. You plug all the right cords in, on both ends even! You even tap on the microphone and clearly hear the tapping sound on your monitor. So you think, hey, I can hear that, and assume everything's good. Like, shouldn't that be enough? At long last, senator, shouldn't that fucking be enough? Yes, I do believe that should fucking be enough. And so it's a complete and total fucking surprise when you realize your dumbfuck digital audio workstation randomly decided to use the built-in microphone as the input to record from rather than the perfectly fucking good, perfectly fucking available XLR mic that you just plugged in. The one you even bought a god damned windscreen for, and you know why? You know why you spent your cold, hard cash on that wind screen? Because you're a freaking professional, that's why. But it was all to no avail, because, as ever, everything turns to shit regardless of your efforts. Anyway, we hope you enjoy this Garfield Your hosts for today's episode: Jon Gibson, Ryan Pfeiffer Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

7 Aug 201926min

Episode 1073 - Tuesday, May 26, 1981

Episode 1073 - Tuesday, May 26, 1981

Sure, there are those who don't ascribe to the notion that this podcast is a perfect and contingent fact about the universe. There may even be those who dare make the outlandish claim that one of this show's hosts forgot to make sure that their laptop was actually recording audio from their mid-range condenser microphone instead of the shitty built-mic for the entire recording session. Well, to those naysayers we proclaim, proudly, "La la la la, we can't hear you!" Your hosts for today's episode: Jon Gibson, Ryan Pfeiffer Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

6 Aug 201917min

Episode 1072 - Monday, May 25, 1981

Episode 1072 - Monday, May 25, 1981

Christopher Winter could not be on the program this week, because as it turns out, he never really existed at all. We regret the inconvenience. Your hosts for today's episode: Jon Gibson, Ryan Pfeiffer Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

5 Aug 201925min

Episode 1071 - Sunday, May 24, 1981

Episode 1071 - Sunday, May 24, 1981

Is this an episode of the famous and popular podcast Being Jim Davis? Only time will tell. Your hosts for today's episode: Christopher Winter, Jon Gibson Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

4 Aug 201919min

Episode 1070 - Saturday, May 23, 1981

Episode 1070 - Saturday, May 23, 1981

Is this an episode of the famous and popular podcast Being Jim Davis? Only time will tell. Your hosts for today's episode: Christopher Winter, Jon Gibson Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

3 Aug 201913min

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