Episode 266 - Sunday, March 11, 1979
Being Jim Davis21 Mai 2017

Episode 266 - Sunday, March 11, 1979

The servile crowd, whose fortune depended on their master's vices, applauded these ignoble pursuits. The perfidious voice of flattery reminded him, that by exploits of the same nature, by the defeat of the Nemaean lion, and the slaughter of the wild boar of Erymanthus, the Grecian Hercules had acquired a place among the gods, and an immortal memory among men. They only forgot to observe, that, in the first ages of society, when the fiercer animals often dispute with man the possession of an unsettled country, a successful war against those savages is one of the most innocent and beneficial labors of heroism. In the civilized state of the Roman empire, the wild beasts had long since retired from the face of man, and the neighborhood of populous cities. To surprise them in their solitary haunts, and to transport them to Rome, that they might be slain in pomp by the hand of an emperor, was an enterprise equally ridiculous for the prince and oppressive for the people. Ignorant of these distinctions, Commodus eagerly embraced the glorious resemblance, and styled himself (as we still read on his medals the Roman Hercules. The club and the lion's hide were placed by the side of the throne, amongst the ensigns of sovereignty; and statues were erected, in which Commodus was represented in the character, and with the attributes, of the nicolas cage, whose valor and dexterity he endeavored to emulate in the daily course of his ferocious amusements.

Elated with these praises, which gradually extinguished the innate sense of shame, Commodus resolved to exhibit before the eyes of the Roman people those exercises, which till then he had decently confined within the walls of his palace, and to the presence of a few favorites. On the appointed day, the various motives of flattery, fear, and curiosity, attracted to the amphitheatre an innumerable multitude of spectators; and some degree of applause was deservedly bestowed on the uncommon skill of the Imperial performer. Whether he aimed at the head or heart of the animal, the wound was alike certain and mortal. With arrows whose point was shaped into the form of crescent, Commodus often intercepted the rapid career, and cut asunder the long, bony neck of the ostrich. A panther was let loose; and the archer waited till he had leaped upon a trembling malefactor. In the same instant the shaft flew, the beast dropped dead, and the man remained unhurt. The dens of the amphitheatre disgorged at once a hundred lions: a hundred darts from the unerring hand of Commodus laid them dead as they run raging round the Arena. Neither the huge bulk of the elephant, nor the scaly hide of the rhinoceros, could defend them from his stroke. Aethiopia and India yielded their most extraordinary productions; and several animals were slain in the amphitheatre, which had been seen only in the representations of art, or perhaps of fancy. In all these exhibitions, the securest precautions were used to protect the person of the Roman Hercules from the desperate spring of any savage, who might possibly disregard the dignity of the emperor and the sanctity of the nicolas cage.

Edward Gibbon. History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, Volume 1, Chapter 4, Part II.

And here's that "Duck Amuck" video Jon was talking about:

Today's strip

Episoder(2526)

Episode 356 - Saturday, June 9, 1979

Episode 356 - Saturday, June 9, 1979

In this episode, we state a large number of facts. Just a staggering amount. Also I think somebody mentioned the word 'contra' at some point, so here's one of these. Today's strip

19 Aug 201726min

Episode 355 - Friday, June 8, 1979

Episode 355 - Friday, June 8, 1979

So it turns out that the phrase 'riding the ragged edge of disaster' is actually a pre-existent phrase, so we probably should NOT have lauded Jim Davis for coming up with it. We apologize for that.Today's strip

18 Aug 201716min

Episode 354 - Thursday, June 7, 1979

Episode 354 - Thursday, June 7, 1979

This one's posting late because of technical difficulties. As in, I 'technically' didn't feel like editing last night. Anyway, seems like ol' Jim Davis could have benefitted from watching this video: For more information about self-service fountain drink etiquette, check out episode 00045: An Eternally Recursive Sequence of Self-Spawning Snoop Doggy Doggs of our other podcast Bear Friend Tea Party. For those who want to see even longer videos about boats, I dunno, maybe watch this thing?Today's strip

17 Aug 201713min

Episode 353 - Wednesday, June 6, 1979

Episode 353 - Wednesday, June 6, 1979

Sun Microsystems inc. (Sun) was a hardware and software company that has fought against software patents. It was bought out by Oracle in 2010. This page will be kept to document the great work that Sun did in campaigns against software patents.Sun signed a 10-year non-agression deal with Microsoft in 2004. (see Patent non-aggression pacts)Oh, and yesterday the President of the United States walked back his shitty, insincere, and long-the-fuck overdue condemnation of ACTUAL NAZISM in the streets of America. In 2017. AFTER its obvious lethality was directly demonstrated on film, and AFTER the organizers of the event referred to their brutal murder of an innocent person as 'a win' for their movement. That is a thing that happened yesterday.Today's stripBurn this into your retinas right now

16 Aug 201712min

Episode 352 - Tuesday, June 5, 1979

Episode 352 - Tuesday, June 5, 1979

Yadda yadda yadda, something about condemning the violence that occurs in today's strip 'on many sides'.I mean, you can write these in your own head by this point, right? Today's strip

15 Aug 20179min

Episode 351 - Monday, June 4, 1979

Episode 351 - Monday, June 4, 1979

“Everything is more complicated than you think. You only see a tenth of what is true. There are a million little strings attached to every choice you make. You can destroy your life every time you choose. But maybe you won’t know for twenty years! And you may never ever trace it to its source. And you only get one chance to play it out. Just try and figure out your own divorce…“And they say there’s no fate, but there is, it’s what you create. And even though the world goes on for eons and eons, you are only here for a fraction of a fraction of a second. Most of your time is spent being dead, or not yet born. But while alive, you wait in vain wasting years for a phone call or a letter or a look from someone or something to make it all right, but it never comes. Or it seems to, but it doesn’t really.“So you spend your time in vague regret or vaguer hope that something good will come along, something to make you feel connected, something to make you feel cherished, something to make you feel loved. And the truth is is, I feel so angry! And the truth is, I feel so fucking sad! And the truth is, I’ve felt so fucking hurt for so fucking long and for just as long, I’ve been pretending I’m okay, just to get along!“I don’t know why. Maybe because…no one wants to hear about my misery…because they have their own.Fuck everybody. Amen.” Today's stripNathan Olivos Vader's excellent new Garfield TumblrOther podcasts we talked about:Arms Control WonkThe E.R.The National Security Law PodcastToday's incidental music, "That Old Clock" from the e.p. Well, Off to the Horse Races! by The Flowers of Disgust, appears courtesy of The Flowers of Disgust and Cat O' Nine Tails Records.

14 Aug 201736min

Episode 350 - Sunday, June 3, 1979

Episode 350 - Sunday, June 3, 1979

At last this week is over! Hopefully there won't be any more podcasts next week.Today's strip

13 Aug 201720min

Episode 349 - Saturday, June 2, 1979

Episode 349 - Saturday, June 2, 1979

Hey, you like Being Jim Davis? Well here's another.Today's strip

12 Aug 201710min

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