Birth Mother Matters in Adoption S3, Ep 218; A Difficult First Step

Birth Mother Matters in Adoption 16: Life After Abortion- A Father's Perspective  Its time to listen to a father's perspective on life after abortion.  Understanding a father's perspective on abortion is rare and underexplored.  Birth fathers have thoughts, feelings, emotions and pain over the abortion and it is time their voice is heard. Whose right to choose is it really? What life may really be like after an abortion.  What emotions a mother and a father experience, for how long, and what does it feel like emotionall?  Does the pain, guilt, shame, regret go away?   Various research studies suggest that there may be three categories of women who regret their abortion choice:   1)women who are affected by stigma of abortion 2) women who go on to change their beliefs on abortion and regret their choice 3) women who never really wanted to abort and were pushed into it. In these studies, a good amount of the 95 percent women will at some point decide that abortion wasn’t the right answer for them according to a study posted by www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-life/11738638/Abortion-The-harsh-truth-about-how-women-feel-afterwards.html There are alternatives to abortion, and if you are dealing with an unplanned pregnancy and want more information about adoption. We are available 24/7 by phone or text at (623) 695-4112.  We can make an immediate appointment with you to get started on creating an Arizona Adoption Plan or give you more information.  Be educated about your unplanned pregnancy choice and alternatives to abortion in Arizona; your baby is counting on you!  www.ube4me.life

15 Okt 201933min

Paul David Petersen is an Arizona Attorney and a Maricopa County Assessor accused of running a multi-million dollar illegal adoption scheme.  The charges span about three years and involve as many as 75 adoptions.  Paul Peterson was charged in Utah, Arizona and Arkansas with counts including  fraud, forgery, human smuggling, sale of a child, and conspiracy to commit money laundering. Since adoption is a personal choice and for those people who have the desire to adopt; we do not believe it will negatively impact adoption interest, nor do we think it will lead to an increase in adoption. We do believe that there will be an overall impact and hopefully it’s a positive one resulting in an increase in adoption awareness and education. The goal of this special podcast is to dive into the accusations of Maricopa County Assessor Paul Peterson and discuss our viewpoint as we gather information from different sources.  Due to the fact that this particular case is in its early developmental stage, facts may change as well as different reports from different sources.  We are not liable for the accuracy of information contained in this podcast.

12 Okt 201944min

Birth Mother Matters in Adoption 14: Grief & Loss in Adoption: Adopted Children, Part 3 of 3 Understanding Grief and Loss in Adoption: Adopted Children.  Listen and learn from an Adoption Professional as well as an adult adoptee. At some point in an adopted child's lifetime, they may experience grief and loss.  Adoptive parents can assit their children through the process of grief and loss and be supportive, loving and understanding.  By gaining knowledge of what an adopted child may think or feel about his or her adoption journey will enable the adoptive parents to be prepared and educcted about how to react.  Knowledge is power and education is paramount in understanding the world of adoption. An adopted child can thrive in an adoptive home and can be secure, loved, feel safe and still have thoughts and feelings related to his or her adoption.  It doesn’t mean that the adoptive parents are not doing a “good enough” job or something is lacking. These are normal and natural thoughts and in my opinion why open adoption is benefical.

8 Okt 201949min

Birth Mother Matters in Adoption 13: Grief & Loss in Adoption Part 2 of 3: Adoptive Families Adoptive parents may experience grief and loss to some degree both before, during and after the adoption process.  Understand that with adoption comes change; people deal with change in different ways; some easily acclimate to change, while others take time and may experience grief.   Adding a a new family member can take time, effort, acceptance and sometimes outside assistance may be helpful.  Change can be difficult and everyone deals with it differently. Resources for adoptive parents are more readily available now than 50 years ago.  Learn about resources that are available to you. Not all adoptive parents adopt because they cannot biologically have children.  However, for those individuals that cannot biologcally conceive have to let go of one dream to begin another.  Letting go of a dream of bearing your own biological children is a loss.  It is important to resolve issues surrounding the loss  of this dream before starting an adoption plan.   Remember, taking a different route in life isn’t always easy and may not have been your original plan or dream.  Adoption most likely is not the road your child’s birth mother's first choice either..  Adoption shouldn’t be looked at as plan b, it should be viewed as journey to parenthood, a blessing.  Life often reminds us that when one door closes another door opens.  Thankfully, life affords us opportunities and adoption is an opportunity to become a mother or father.   “We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell

4 Okt 201925min

Grief & Loss In Adoption: Part One : Birth Mothers “There are two different kinds of strength. There’s the strength to make a parenting plan and then there’s the strength to give that plan to another.” Unknown Birth Mothers do experience grief and not to acknowledge it would be unfair to those experiencing grief and negligent on behalf of society.  To understand birth mother/ birth father grief is to acknowledge part of the process of adoption.  Adoption is a beautiful choice for an unplanned pregnancy, but it is never an easy one; especially for the woman who resembles the tree trunk of adoption; without a birth mother there is no adoptee and no adoptive parents.  Grief and loss in adoption is something that is not often talked about; but is needs to be for so many reasons.  Adoption is beautiful, but with every high there is a low.  Grief can be outlined in stages and stages of grief are not always experienced sequentially and they can be revisited as well. Kübler-Ross outlines the Stages of Grief as :  1) Denial 2)Anger 3) Bargaining 4) Depression 5)Acceptance. Birth mothers’ grief; what we need to know: Understanding that grief is part of the adoption journey and she needs to be helped through it. Ways that may help inclide; working through the stages of grief, learning her triggers, find coping methods, counseling, joing a support group, focus on self-care, excersize when medically cleared, find a group of other birth mothers. If you are listening and you are dealing with an unplanned pregnancy and want more information about adoption, we are a local Arizona Adoption Agency and we are available 24/7 by phone or text at (623) 695-4112.

2 Okt 201943min

Birth Mother Matters in Adoption, Episode # 11.  Adressing the "Elephants" in the Adoption Room.    Adoption has so many variables, phrases, various aspects, misunderstandings, myths and unaddressed areas.  Its time to address those issues about adoption so we as a society can become more adoption knowledgeable.  The goal of this podcast is to address those areas that we often avoid about adoption for variosu reasons; lack of knowledge, incorrect asssumptions, awkwardness, unfamiliariity and more. Some issues we are goignt o tackle today include: Birth Fathers- sometimes there are more than oneAsking adoptive parents about their reasons for adoptingAnd so much more Join us as we venture into the adiotion world and tackle the somewhat taboo issues so we can break down the barriers of adoption, eucate society and make our world adoption friendly. If you are preganant and considering adoption, call or text us 24/7 at 623-695-4112.

27 Sep 201919min

Abortion is a subject that can be very controversial, however in my experience, often times the strongest abortion advocates have the little understanding of adoption or abortion. Adoption education is paramount.  It is impossible to fully understand the global impact that abortion has on adoption without facts.  Abortion has been a highly debated topic, often frequenting the news, as well as various states debating on new laws, its important to be educated.  The #YouBeforeMe Campaign not only promotes the entitty of adoption, it provides adoption awareness and elevates the value of life.  www.ube4me.life      Three important aspects to consider: Adoption is an alternative to parenting, while abortion is an alternative to pregnancy. Adoption is free for birth mothers, while abortion involves medical costs.Adoption provides permanent relationships and abortion often has a lifelong emotional impact.There is little to no support for women after an abortion procedure. The #YouBeforeMe Campaign's goal is to provide education regarding adoption and abortion.  After speaking to hundreds of  pregnant women, especially women that have had abortions to this prior to this current pregnancy- did not have a basic knowledge or understanding of adoption; most importantly , they did not understand the basics of adoption, such as: Where to go to find out about making an adoption plan.The process of adoption.The resources and assistance an adoption plan can provide. If you are dealing with an unplanned pregnancy and want more information about adoption, we are a local Arizona Adoption Agency. We are available 24/7 by phone or text at (623) 695-4112.

24 Sep 201919min

Birth Mother Matters in Adoption 9: The Life of a Birth Mother: Snowflakes Birth mothers come from all walks of life. There is no “typical” birth mother and is a mistake to stereotype a birthmother. There are often similarities, but every single birth mother is different, like a snowflake. The portrait of a birthmother has changed over the past fifteen years, but to stereotype or categorize is wrong. Attributing factors in Arizona may include, but not be limited to: Lack of Social ServicesFinancial HardshipsIncreased PovertyIncreased Drug Use Birth mothers are not all teenagers or college students, in fact we see very much the opposite. The age range I have seen in the past fifteen years ranges from the age of thirteen up until the age of forty-five. Majority of the birth mothers we work with are between the ages of twenty-two to thirty-two.    Adoptions are not all open and they are not all closed. Most adoptions we see are semi-open; where they receive letters and pictures and maybe a visit or two. This is just the beginning of incorrect stereotypes surrounding adoption that we want to clarify. If you or someone you know is facing an unplanned pregnancy and considering adoption, a licensed adoption agency is the best option. Local licensed adoption agencies can meet face to face, hold your hand when needed, and can remain with you throughout your pregnancy. In addition, you can visit your case worker after placement. Building Arizona Families/ AZ Pregnancy Help is a licensed adoption agency. You can call or text us 24/7 at: 623.695-4112.

20 Sep 201920min