I Was Afraid of Losing Myself to Motherhood. I Found Myself Instead.
Death, Sex & Money4 Jun 2024

I Was Afraid of Losing Myself to Motherhood. I Found Myself Instead.

Elissa Strauss always knew she wanted to be a mother, but she also knew she didn’t want motherhood to take over her personality. After all, she had spent years as a blogger making fun of anyone who took motherhood too seriously. She bemoaned the natural birth movement and people who made “mom friends.” Then Elissa had a son, and her view of caretaking started to shift. “I had put so much energy into figuring out how not to lose myself to caregiving,” Elissa writes in her new book, “that I completely ignored the possibility that I might, in fact, find some of myself there.” In this episode, Anna and Elissa talk about why it feels uncool to talk about liking motherhood, the ways caretaking can take from us, but also how it can fill us up and engender “moral transformation.” Plus, the economics of care, and what really valuing care in society would look like. Elissa’s book is called When You Care: the Unexpected Magic of Caring for Others. She also wrote a piece last month in Slate called “It’s Weird Times to Be a Happy Mother.” Are you a paid caregiver? We want to hear from you for a future listener episode. Tell us some things you’ve taken away from the experience – wild stories, observations about class, lessons about the way you want your own loved ones to be cared for. Send us your thoughts and stories at deathsexmoney@slate.com. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Episoder(519)

Becoming a Father in Prison: Updated

Becoming a Father in Prison: Updated

We met Lawrence Bartley inside Sing Sing prison in 2014. Now, almost three years later, he's up for parole for the first time in his 27 years behind bars.  Subscribe to our weekly newsletter for audio picks, letters from our inbox and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter. Follow the show on Twitter @deathsexmoney and Facebook at facebook.com/deathsexmoney. Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

12 Jul 201743min

Our Student Loan Secrets, Part 2

Our Student Loan Secrets, Part 2

Hundreds of you told us about feeling duped, overwhelmed, and ashamed of your student debt. But we also heard stories about how some of you took back control. Here's how you did it. Explore more than 1,000 of your stories about student loans, find out where you fit in the student loan landscape and get resources for dealing with your debt at deathsexmoney.org/studentloans. Subscribe to our weekly newsletter for audio picks, letters from our inbox and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter. Follow the show on Twitter @deathsexmoney and Facebook at facebook.com/deathsexmoney. Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

29 Jun 201731min

Our Student Loan Secrets, Part 1

Our Student Loan Secrets, Part 1

More Americans are taking out more student loan debt and taking longer to pay it back. But we're not talking about the impact that it has on our lives. Until now.  Explore more than 1,000 of your stories about student loans, find out where you fit in the student loan landscape and get resources for dealing with your debt at deathsexmoney.org/studentloans. Subscribe to our weekly newsletter for audio picks, letters from our inbox and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter. Follow the show on Twitter @deathsexmoney and Facebook at facebook.com/deathsexmoney. Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

28 Jun 201734min

Coming Soon: Our Student Loan Secrets

Coming Soon: Our Student Loan Secrets

More Americans are taking out more debt to pay for higher education, but we often don’t feel comfortable talking about our student loans. We want to show you that you’re not alone. Subscribe to our weekly newsletter for audio picks, letters from our inbox and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter. Follow the show on Twitter @deathsexmoney and Facebook at facebook.com/deathsexmoney. Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

21 Jun 20174min

Who's Driving Your Uber?

Who's Driving Your Uber?

Domestic violence. Grave plot sales. The ripples of the financial crisis. A new immigrant's dashed hopes. This is what we heard about after we asked, "Why'd you start driving for Uber?" Become a member today by donating just $7 a month to support Death, Sex & Money. Sign up now! Subscribe to our weekly newsletter for audio picks, letters from our inbox and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter. Follow the show on Twitter @deathsexmoney and Facebook at facebook.com/deathsexmoney. Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

7 Jun 201727min

Hari Kondabolu and His Mom Answer Your Life Questions

Hari Kondabolu and His Mom Answer Your Life Questions

The comedian and his mom give advice on pursuing career-life balance, dealing with racist friends and figuring out the best time to DTR (Define The Relationship). Subscribe to our weekly newsletter! We'll send you audio picks, letters from our inbox and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter. Follow the show on Twitter @deathsexmoney and Facebook at facebook.com/deathsexmoney. Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

24 Mai 201742min

'Precious' Paid Off Gabourey Sidibe's Crunch Gym Debt

'Precious' Paid Off Gabourey Sidibe's Crunch Gym Debt

The actor's first movie role didn't give her total financial security, but it did help her pay off one important bill.   Become a monthly sustaining member of Death, Sex & Money. Sign up now. Subscribe to our weekly newsletter! We'll send you audio picks, letters from our inbox and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter. Follow the show on Twitter @deathsexmoney and Facebook at facebook.com/deathsexmoney. Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Mai 201729min

Kevin Bacon Shows Us His Cash

Kevin Bacon Shows Us His Cash

The actor opens up about money, sex at 58, and working on Jill Soloway's newest TV series, I Love Dick.  Become a monthly sustaining member of Death, Sex & Money. Sign up now. Sign up for our weekly newsletter! deathsexmoney.org/newsletter. Follow the show on Twitter @deathsexmoney and Facebook at facebook.com/deathsexmoney. Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

12 Mai 201735min

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