I Was Afraid of Losing Myself to Motherhood. I Found Myself Instead.

I Was Afraid of Losing Myself to Motherhood. I Found Myself Instead.

Elissa Strauss always knew she wanted to be a mother, but she also knew she didn’t want motherhood to take over her personality. After all, she had spent years as a blogger making fun of anyone who took motherhood too seriously. She bemoaned the natural birth movement and people who made “mom friends.” Then Elissa had a son, and her view of caretaking started to shift. “I had put so much energy into figuring out how not to lose myself to caregiving,” Elissa writes in her new book, “that I completely ignored the possibility that I might, in fact, find some of myself there.” In this episode, Anna and Elissa talk about why it feels uncool to talk about liking motherhood, the ways caretaking can take from us, but also how it can fill us up and engender “moral transformation.” Plus, the economics of care, and what really valuing care in society would look like. Elissa’s book is called When You Care: the Unexpected Magic of Caring for Others. She also wrote a piece last month in Slate called “It’s Weird Times to Be a Happy Mother.” Are you a paid caregiver? We want to hear from you for a future listener episode. Tell us some things you’ve taken away from the experience – wild stories, observations about class, lessons about the way you want your own loved ones to be cared for. Send us your thoughts and stories at deathsexmoney@slate.com. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Episoder(518)

Danielle Brooks Is Ready to Talk About Sex

Danielle Brooks Is Ready to Talk About Sex

Danielle Brooks grew up in a religious household in South Carolina. But at 26, the actor says she's found new freedom to talk about her body and sex. Support Death, Sex & Money by becoming a monthly sustaining member. Sign up now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

8 Jun 201628min

An Update from Susanne

An Update from Susanne

We met Susanne and Mike almost 10 years into their recovery from heroin addiction. But disturbing criminal charges against Mike forced Susanne to take a hard look at their relationship. Support Death, Sex & Money by becoming a monthly sustaining member. Sign up now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

1 Jun 20169min

How Jeff Daniels Got Sober, Again

How Jeff Daniels Got Sober, Again

Jeff Daniels describes turning 50 as "a speed bump at 80 miles per hour." His career got its second wind—and the Michigan-based actor abandoned more than a decade of sobriety.  Support Death, Sex & Money by becoming a monthly sustaining member. Sign up now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

25 Mai 201627min

From Conversion Therapy to a Rainbow Yarmulke

From Conversion Therapy to a Rainbow Yarmulke

Chaim Levin and Benjy Unger desperately fought their attraction to other men by signing up for gay conversion therapy. They rejected the therapy together, but saved their friendship. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

11 Mai 201626min

Diane Guerrero on Debt and Deportation

Diane Guerrero on Debt and Deportation

Orange is the New Black's Diane Guerrero has been on her own since she was 14, when her parents were deported. What followed were years of financial and emotional struggle.  Support Death, Sex & Money by becoming a monthly sustaining member. Sign up now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

27 Apr 201630min

When I Almost Died

When I Almost Died

Your stories about life after near death.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

20 Apr 201635min

Dead People Don't Have Any Secrets

Dead People Don't Have Any Secrets

Amanda's husband Sam had a lot of secrets, most of which she discovered after his death. That made grieving, and moving on, a lot more complicated. Support Death, Sex & Money by becoming a monthly sustaining member. Sign up now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

6 Apr 201631min

Rosie, Sixto, Hari, Uma, Mahershala, Amatus, Lisa & Dan

Rosie, Sixto, Hari, Uma, Mahershala, Amatus, Lisa & Dan

During times of big change, family often keeps us grounded. Meet the people who played that role for Rosie Perez, Hari Kondabolu and Mahershala Ali, from our live show in Brooklyn. Support Death, Sex & Money by becoming a monthly sustaining member. Sign up now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

23 Mar 20161h 17min

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