Sofia Su. Om kvinnelig seksualitet, undertrykkelse, lyster, skam, seksuelle traumer, samtykke, grenser, preferanser, kropp og kjærlighet. Episode 51

Sofia Su. Om kvinnelig seksualitet, undertrykkelse, lyster, skam, seksuelle traumer, samtykke, grenser, preferanser, kropp og kjærlighet. Episode 51

En åpen, ærlig og kontroversiell samtale med Sofia Su, eieren av fantastiske Ostara Bar og skaperen av Juicebox og Lollipop med mer.

Dette er en totalt ut av komfortsonen episode for meg. En episode jeg har kvidd meg for å lansere. Hvorfor? Jo, pga frykten for hva vil folk tenke.

Heldigvis ble jeg også nok en gang irritert. Irritert for at jeg kvier meg for å være åpen om noe jeg synes er så viktig. Om å dele av noe som har vært vanskelig for meg og som er enda vanskeligere for så mange kvinner og menn der ute.

Seksualitet, legning, overgrep, undertrykkelse, lyster, kjærlighet, kjønn. Så skambelagt at jeg personlig gikk i 15 år med en usikkerhet rundt hvorfor jeg er så fasinert av kvinner, uten å tørre å være nysgjerrig på hva det betydde. Uten en nysgjerrighet om hva jeg var og heller med en frykt for å være homofil, bifil, panfil.. Hvor ukomfortabelt hadde det vel ikke vært å fortelle det til familien, kollegaene, slekten og vennegjengen? DET var fokuset.

Det er lett å leve på ytter skalaen av heterofil, men hvor mange befinner seg HELT ærlig der da?

Så i fjor sommer dro jeg på date med en dame. Hurra, et steg i rett retning, men hva kunne jeg konkludere etter det da? At jeg ikke likte damer fordi vi to ikke var en match? Da måtte jeg nok sluttet å date sånn generelt.

Jeg gikk også i 15 år og trodde at en voldtekt og det å bli truet på livet ikke hadde påvirket sexlivet mitt eller mitt forhold til det å være i nære relasjoner med menn. Dessverre har det seg sånn at slike traumer setter sine spor og at ubehandlet, så sto jeg igjen med triggere, ubevisste reaksjoner sagt på en annen måte. Kanskje ikke så rart når jeg tenker meg om og vet litt mer om hvordan kroppen fungerer.

Slik tiltrakk jeg meg Sofia Su og Juicebox. Et community hvor kvinner får utforske sin egen seksualitet, grenser, preferanser, bearbeide traumer, samtykke, kommunikasjon, og finne tilhørighet og støtte via ulike typer eventer. Workshoper, ball, samtaler, titty techno, husfester, netflix & chill, og mye mer. Hvert event har et tema som opptar de 5500 medlemmene, og de fleste hjelper kvinner med å bli tryggere i seg selv, sine følelser og seksuelle preferanser. Hva liker du egentlig og når trår noen over grensene dine? Hvordan sier du ifra når noen utfordrer grensene dine? Og hvordan respekterer du andres grenser?

Samtidig er eksponeringsterapi en kjent og anbefalt måte å bearbeide traumer og frykter på. Men hva når du har opplevd overgrep, slik 90 prosent av kvinner har i en eller annen form. Hvor lett er det egentlig å føle seg trygg nok til å bearbeide et seksuelt traume sammen med en av samme kjønn som den du ble voldtatt av? Og hvor lett er det for deg og en mann å forstå hva som er en traume respons og hva som er faktiske grenser eller behov?

Juicebox tilbyr en trygg plass for å bli kjent med kvinnekroppen. Visste du for for eksempel at vulva bruker 30 minutter på å bli klar? Og at kvinner av biologiske årsaker trenger mental og fysisk trygghet for å bli kåte? Eller at berøring av hud føles annerledes for deg og for andre? Og at det går an å få orgasme kun ved bruk av pust og tilstedeværelse?

Og at det er mange av kvinnene som deltar på Juicebox som er beskjedne, uerfarne med kvinner, hetero, straighte og i faste forhold med menn?

Takk Juicebox og Sofia for at du hjalp meg med å innse og akseptere at jeg synes at kvinnekroppen er ekstremt sexy, samtidig som jeg dessverre er ganske hetero. No shame! Pupper er amazing.

Dette er en åpen og ærlig samtale som helt sikkert trigger en del folk og det får være greit. You do you, I do me. Vi trenger ikke å være enige om alt her i verden. Og det er frivillig å lytte.

Jeg digger Sofia og synes arbeidet hun gjør med Juicebox er helt fantastisk. Les og titt mer om henne her

Instagram @ostarabar @juicebox.ooo

https://tvguide.vg.no/program/insider-fem/sesong/3/episode/1

https://apps.apple.com/us/app/juicebox-community/id1570134279

https://www.ostarabar.no/

https://www.facebook.com/ostarabar

Hvem er jeg?

Therese Fallentin heter jeg. Stavangerjente som har reist verden rundt og studert og jobbet i Trondheim, Tyskland, Belgia, Valdres og Oslo. Jeg ELSKER å lære av andres historier og kunnskap og å dele mine egne historier og kunnskap. Er en over gjennomsnittet løsningsorientert, empatisk og proaktiv utfordrer med engasjement for bærekraftig utvikling av mennesker og samfunnet. I podkasten utfordres skambelagte tema, deles inspirerende historier og vises det hvordan vi kan være oss selv, leve i tråd med våre faktiske verdier, leve drømmene våre, ha positiv påvirkning, skape og stå opp mot press og forventninger.

Jeg drives av å se mennesker blomstre, bedrifter mestre og produkter møte behov, i et samspill som bidrar til vekst for samfunnet, menneskeheten og kloden. Du kan lese mer om meg, om tanken bak podkasten og finne mer informasjon om en del av temaene som tas opp i podkasten på LinkedIn, hjemmesiden min eller Instagram og linkene under

https://www.linkedin.com/in/therese-fallentin-032b5241/

https://magefolelsen.com/

https://www.instagram.com/magefoelelsen.podcast/

Musikken i podkasten kommer fra https://freemusicarchive.org/music/ og sangene brukt er Ketsa med Up Folk og Scott Holmes med Clear Progress.

Episoden er redigert av Simon Lynau.

Vær sjefen i ditt eget liv og lag deg en fin dag

Episoder(119)

Attachment Styles Uncovered: How Anxious & Avoidant Patterns Shape Our Work, Money, Family, and Dating. Episode 103

Attachment Styles Uncovered: How Anxious & Avoidant Patterns Shape Our Work, Money, Family, and Dating. Episode 103

Are you aware of your attachment style?  Anxious, avoidant, anxious avoidant or secure.  67% of the population is anxious, avoidant or anxiously avoidant... That is the majority.  This subconsciously impact all aspects of our lives. Our relationship to everything from relationships, dating, work, money, hobbies, exercise or making things happen.    I am Therese Fallentin and this is The Gutfeeling podcast. You can read about me and the Podcast at https://magefolelsen.com/hjem    and about me and my services (waiting for my domain :-D) at https://herring-tambourine-n2td.squarespace.com/    and find me in video format at youtube at https://www.youtube.com/@TheGutFeeling_Therese  https://youtu.be/dVvljWnerfo    Make yourself a glorious day ya all.    #anxious #avoident #attachment #money #dating #peoplepleasing #codependency

17 Feb 202520min

Body scan meditation with meditative music. Land back into your body. Mindfulness. Episode 102

Body scan meditation with meditative music. Land back into your body. Mindfulness. Episode 102

Calm your mind and body with a calming body scan meditation with zen music.  Feel into where you are right now, observere and let yourself ground into a calm nervous system.    I am Therese Fallentin and this is the gutfeeling podcast. You can read about me and the Podcast at https://magefolelsen.com/hjem    and about me and my services (waiting for my domain :-D) at https://herring-tambourine-n2td.squarespace.com/    and find me in video format at youtube at https://www.youtube.com/@TheGutFeeling_Therese    Make yourself a glorious day ya all.    #meditation #mindfulness #bodyscan #grounding #calming #somaticwork

14 Feb 202528min

Perfectionism, avoidance, control and how it distracts us from going for what we want. Episode 101

Perfectionism, avoidance, control and how it distracts us from going for what we want. Episode 101

Do you allow yourself to practice, play, look stupid, let go of control, show vulnerability, surrender, feel, ask for help, loooooooose control?  Perfectionism creates avoidance. It's control.  It's trying to be perfect so that noone can reject you, critique you, control you.  Well, being perfect is also not perfect, it's quite exhausting for yourself and everyone else.  Breath, let go and let people in. Let yourself have a break.    I am Therese Fallentin and this is The Gutfeeling podcast. You can read about me and the Podcast at https://magefolelsen.com/hjem    and about me and my services (waiting for my domain :-D) at https://herring-tambourine-n2td.squarespace.com/    and find me in video format at youtube at https://www.youtube.com/@TheGutFeeling_Therese  https://youtu.be/vZQbeNOsOmc    Make yourself a glorious day ya all.    #anxious #avoident #attachment #money #perfectionism #avoidance #control #goals #surrender

13 Feb 202515min

Perpetrators. Bully, gossip, blame, shame, critique. How and why we all enter the perpetrator role. Why and how to change into a challenger. Episode 100

Perpetrators. Bully, gossip, blame, shame, critique. How and why we all enter the perpetrator role. Why and how to change into a challenger. Episode 100

Have you ever gossiped, judged, criticized, blamed, shamed, pointed fingers, hit, punched, pushed or bullied someone else?  If you answer no, I don’t believe you!  We ALL HAVE!  If you claim you haven’t, I am quite sure you have more than most. Start digging, get real! Even if you think you are an angel, you probably aren’t.  So why and how do we ALL turn into perpetrators? How does it look like? Perpetrators come alongside victims and rescuers. And within this dynamics WE SWOP ROLES WITHIN A SINGLE CONVERSATION. We start out as the victim, move into to perpetrator and end up as the rescuer. And so it rolls.  We believe we are angels, but really! We are not. No one is. I explain how toxic these dynamics are and how to get out of them. How to take accountability for your own life, words and actions.  Why?  Because you are hurting yourself. You are creating your own drama. You are getting yourself into dynamics you don’t want to be in.  Watch/ listen into my podcast to learn how you can become the challenger, coach and creator - instead of the perpetrator, rescuer and victim… These are the Drama Triangle and Empowerment Dynamics.  Someone focusing on everyone else’s problems and never your own. Not trusting in anyone else to do a good enough job. Watch/ listen into the episode to learn how to stop burning out. How to get help, how to cut back on responsibilities. how to find time for the things YOU wanna do.   I am Therese Fallentin and this is The Gutfeeling podcast. You can read about me and the Podcast at https://magefolelsen.com/hjem    and about me and my services (waiting for my domain :-D) at https://herring-tambourine-n2td.squarespace.com/    and find me in video format at youtube at https://www.youtube.com/@TheGutFeeling_Therese  https://youtu.be/0D6dnrOfYWU    Make yourself a glorious day ya all.    #dramatriangle #empowermentdynamics #power #empowered #stepintoyourpower #create #entrepreneurship #goals #prioritze #focus #discipline #victimhoodrole #confidence #attract #magnetic #accountability #dopaminaddiction #perpetrator #challenger #coach #rescuer #victimrole #hero

11 Feb 202532min

Stop burning out, fixing the world, rescuing people and pleasing people. Believe people are capable. Drama triangle vs Empowerment Dynamics. Episode 99

Stop burning out, fixing the world, rescuing people and pleasing people. Believe people are capable. Drama triangle vs Empowerment Dynamics. Episode 99

Burned out? Tired? Empty? Exhausted? Anxious? Worried? Never time, energy, focus and money left to yourself? Always someone else who needs you more than you? No one else manage to help you. Everyone else does a poor job. You are always stuck with the work. Sounds like you are a rescuer, a fixer. Someone focusing on everyone else’s problems and never your own. Not trusting in anyone else to do a good enough job. Watch/ listen into the episode to learn how to stop burning out. How to get help, how to cut back on responsibilities. how to find time for the things YOU wanna do.   I am Therese Fallentin and this is The Gutfeeling podcast. You can read about me and the Podcast at https://magefolelsen.com/hjem    and about me and my services (waiting for my domain :-D) at https://herring-tambourine-n2td.squarespace.com/    and find me in video format at youtube at https://www.youtube.com/@TheGutFeeling_Therese  https://youtu.be/enug_nvLcyk    Make yourself a glorious day ya all.    #dramatriangle #empowermentdynamics #power #empowered #stepintoyourpower #create #entrepreneurship #goals #prioritze #focus #discipline #victimhoodrole #confidence #attract #magnetic #accountability #dopaminaddiction #rescuer #victimrole #hero

11 Feb 202540min

Acting like a victim isn't attractive. Take accountability and stop complaining, blaming, pointing fingers. Drama triangle vs Empowerment Dynamics. Episode 98

Acting like a victim isn't attractive. Take accountability and stop complaining, blaming, pointing fingers. Drama triangle vs Empowerment Dynamics. Episode 98

Do you want something in your life?  Well, then go make it happen.  Get up, get out, start making a plan, doing research, taking accountability for your non-doing, your own actions, your own choices.. HOW YOU SHOW UP IN THE WORLD.  You want something, well, then start MAKING SOME ACTION. Get of your phone, your screen, your couch.  Stop distracting yourself with shiny unicorns.  Get real. Be honest with yourself.  WHAT IS WITHIN YOUR POWER TO CHANGE IS YOU AND YOUR OWN THOUGHTS AND ACTIONS.  You don't want to attract and get from "poor me" attitude. It's not poor you. You are capable, YOU ARE! Just freaking start.  DOING SOMETHING.... AnYtHiNg that will take you closer to where you want to be. Probably more confident in one way or the other. Well, how do you build that confidence within YOU?  Find a coach, take a class, go dancing, read a book on the topic, go for a walk, write, ask people for their insights and knowledge (not for them to do the work and rescue you... Again, not very sexy...)  I know you can. We all can.  And now is the time. The best time of them all. Cut the crap. The excuses and bullshit. YOU CAN, if you really want to. That is.     I am Therese Fallentin and this is The Gutfeeling podcast. You can read about me and the Podcast at https://magefolelsen.com/hjem    and about me and my services (waiting for my domain :-D) at https://herring-tambourine-n2td.squarespace.com/    and find me in video format at youtube at https://youtu.be/ymvzNOQDSFU    Make yourself a glorious day ya all.        #dramatriangle #empowermentdynamics #power #empowered #stepintoyourpower #create #entrepreneurship #goals #prioritze #focus #discipline #victimhoodrole #confidence #attract #magnetic #accountability #dopaminaddiction

11 Feb 202524min

Victimhood role in women vs men. Build inner confidence and become attractive. Drama triangle vs Empowerment Dynamics. Episode 97

Victimhood role in women vs men. Build inner confidence and become attractive. Drama triangle vs Empowerment Dynamics. Episode 97

What is your excuse for not creating your life? For not taking accountability for yourself?  Feel hopeless, powerless, not able, incapable, that nothing works, that it's not possible for you? Just cannot?  Not enough money, time, energy, IQ, EQ.  Not good enough body, looks, brains...  Nobody gets you.  Nobody wants you.  You need someone to come fix you, rescue you. Preferably someone successful, pretty, amazing....  Whatever.  Well, sounds like you indulge yourself inside the victimhood role and I am here to tell you how you throw away your potential, your inner strength and possibilities.  Change your mindset and set yourself free.  From "I cannot" to "I can".. You freaking can. You have it all inside of you. Find it. Digg it out. Stop waiting to be rescued. Stop putting people on pedestals. Stop looking down on yourself.  IT'S NOT SEXY! IT'S NOT ATTRACTIVE. Find ways to start believing in yourself.   I am Therese Fallentin and this is The Gutfeeling podcast. You can read about me and the Podcast at https://magefolelsen.com/hjem    and about me and my services (waiting for my domain :-D) at https://herring-tambourine-n2td.squarespace.com/    and find me in video format at youtube at https://youtu.be/ymvzNOQDSFU    Make yourself a glorious day ya all.        #dramatriangle #empowermentdynamics #power #empowered #stepintoyourpower #create #entrepreneurship #goals #prioritze #focus #discipline #victimhoodrole #confidence #attract #magnetic

11 Feb 202536min

Prioritize, focus and work towards your own goals, not whatever will make people like you. Episode 96

Prioritize, focus and work towards your own goals, not whatever will make people like you. Episode 96

When did you last work towards YOUR own goal?  Something you want to do, that other people might not understand.  Not to get approval, attention, likes, compliments.  Simply because it feels like what YOU want to do.  When did you last say no, and prioritized your time, money and energy towards your own yes.  Where is your focus?  What do you prioritize?  Be honest with yourself.    I am Therese Fallentin and this is the gutfeeling podcast. You can read about me and the Podcast at https://magefolelsen.com/hjem    and about me and my services (waiting for my domain :-D) at https://herring-tambourine-n2td.squarespace.com/    and find me in video format at youtube at https://www.youtube.com/@TheGutFeeling_Therese    Make yourself a glorious day ya all.        #dramatriangle #empowermentdynamics #power #empowered #stepintoyourpower #create #entrepreneurship #goals #prioritze #focus #discipline

10 Feb 202538min

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