215: Olivia A. revisits

🔸 "You can't handle what I have to say... Who are you to even do this?" The cringe, the doubt, the exile. Round 2.

🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs):

• It didn't realize the 24/7 stuff was unfair
• "Can never do anything right"

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
The "do that with your therapist" comment is a reference to an unpublished part of the call, she mentioned doing some goal planning with her therapist. I was shaky, feeling that cringe detector standing too close, anticipating its backlash. My energy shifts once we get to exile. I think I was concerned/anxious that I wouldn't be able to help Olivia unblend, and feeling like my prompts around that were weak.

And how much unblending is enough? Do we need "full" permission from every protector? Or can we build trust by demonstrating safe handling of exile?

Was it a bad move to bring up the comments re: mom from last call? Felt like it might derail or distract, but I didn't want to let that lead go cold. Olivia has been reporting parts work to me daily for weeks, so that feels like the ultimate safety net, and helps me feel comfortable speculating and joking with her. A part of me wants to laugh off these parts that think she could fail IFS, because I feel so confident in her and her progress, but... it is only our second time getting so close to exiles. I talked a lot. I think Olivia reminds me of myself. That's usually a flag for me, I start feeling *too* comfortable. In parts-language: maybe some of our protectors enable each other. But I discussed it with her; my commitment is to doing the work, not making friends.
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