Live IFS2 Sep 2023

285: Jovan A. revisits

🔸 “This isn’t what life is supposed to be like”

🔹 Parts:

6yo. Never want to grow up. Terrified, confused, depressed. Isolated, infinitely trapped. Not looking forward to Marriage, dating, working… stay in room. Wants fun. Wants a stable peaceful environment.

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:

I started on the wrong foot. I think Jovan has been no-notice late or absent to our last 3 scheduled meetings, and my frustration there is extra sticky because it’s directed inward, around my calendar/booking policies. People are eager to get on the calendar, and that eagerness seems like one reasonable metric in helping decide who to work with, but until I can codify that (at least internally), I'm stuck reacting.

Another non-policy of mine is having hard time limits on calls, which made the end difficult. Whenever I'm hitting the hour mark, parts of me are on edge, waiting to hear “ugh, James, why are you still talking? It’s been an hour!”. So again, just reacting to whatever comes up. Sometimes it’s simply “how much longer can I sit like this?” Today I was sweating. Hard to think when sweating.

But I'm not sure I would have done much differently given all that. I don’t know if we’ll talk again; we have no more calls scheduled. Thinking we might not have enough combined time/energy for the full process, I wanted to at least help give Jovan and the 6yo a running start, a taste of the process.

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