562 Where do my ethics stop and my partner's begin?
Polyamory Weekly30 Sep 2018

562 Where do my ethics stop and my partner's begin?

If my partner wants to date a long-time monogamous friend without her partner's explicit consent, how to I object without imposing my ethics on my partner?

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

2:00 Where do my ethics end and my partner's begin?

Kate calls is uncomfortable with her partner's new person of interest (POI), who is a lifetime friend and in a monogamous relationship. The POI says she is bringing up poly with her partner, and Kate, her partner, and the POI are currently negotiating physical contact for an upcoming meeting to discuss Kate's partner and the POI's relationship. Kate is worried about violating the POI's relationship agreement with her mono partner.

  • We both see this essentially as cheating, and we don't think it's a good idea for your partner to ask you to watch him cheat.
  • Having meeting that doesn't include the POI's partner is duplicitous (or "skeevy", as Minx calls it)
  • Can you trust a partner who is willing to violate someone else's relationship agreement?
  • You can't tell a grown-ass adult what to do, but you can control your own behavior. You can choose not to participate in the meeting, to insist on talking to the POI's partner before the meeting to ensure transparency and consent, or you can choose to leave your existing relationship.

15:45 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write a review on Apple Podcasts! Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, "Good Suspicions."

Episoder(604)

581 I'm tired of the restrictions my mono husband puts on me

581 I'm tired of the restrictions my mono husband puts on me

After four years, listener Newseeker is tired of asking her husband's permission every time she wants to go on a date with her partner of three years. How long should she accommodate his slow pace? 0:...

9 Okt 201919min

580 Should I still marry my now-straight partner?

580 Should I still marry my now-straight partner?

A listener is engaged to her fiancée, who just came out as straight. How does she cope with not having sex with her soon-to-be wife? 0:00 Introduction and host chat Content warning and why you can't f...

2 Okt 201924min

570 On writing inclusive fiction with Kevin Patterson and Alana Phelan

570 On writing inclusive fiction with Kevin Patterson and Alana Phelan

Kevin Patterson and Alana Phelan, coauthors of For Hire: Operator and the soon-to-be-released For Hire: Audition, talk about why they write a queer poly superhero universe. 0:00 Introduction and host ...

8 Sep 201927min

578 How do I avoid feeling like a homewrecker?

578 How do I avoid feeling like a homewrecker?

Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

21 Aug 201927min

577 When love IS a zero sum game

577 When love IS a zero sum game

A listener asks what to do when love does feel like a zero sum game; his wife took a lover, and our listener felt like he got even less sex than before. 0:00 Introduction and host chat Under 18? Stop ...

5 Aug 201925min

576 Will poly help emotionally unavailable partners

576 Will poly help emotionally unavailable partners

A listener asks if her new boyfriend is emotionally unavailable, will poly help? 0:00 Introduction and host chat Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com 2:10 Poly in the news ...

1 Jul 201924min

575 We love Allena Gabosch

575 We love Allena Gabosch

Celebrating the amazing sex-positive activist Allena Gabosch, who gave us a big scare last week. 0:00 Introduction and host chat Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com Last w...

17 Jun 201956min

574 Is it OK to ask to meet my metamour?

574 Is it OK to ask to meet my metamour?

My boyfriend and I transitioned from a don't-ask-don't-tell relationship to full honest, transparent polyamory. Now I want to meet my formerly DADT metamour when she comes to visit him next month. Is ...

3 Jun 201926min

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