562 Where do my ethics stop and my partner's begin?
Polyamory Weekly30 Sep 2018

562 Where do my ethics stop and my partner's begin?

If my partner wants to date a long-time monogamous friend without her partner's explicit consent, how to I object without imposing my ethics on my partner?

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

2:00 Where do my ethics end and my partner's begin?

Kate calls is uncomfortable with her partner's new person of interest (POI), who is a lifetime friend and in a monogamous relationship. The POI says she is bringing up poly with her partner, and Kate, her partner, and the POI are currently negotiating physical contact for an upcoming meeting to discuss Kate's partner and the POI's relationship. Kate is worried about violating the POI's relationship agreement with her mono partner.

  • We both see this essentially as cheating, and we don't think it's a good idea for your partner to ask you to watch him cheat.
  • Having meeting that doesn't include the POI's partner is duplicitous (or "skeevy", as Minx calls it)
  • Can you trust a partner who is willing to violate someone else's relationship agreement?
  • You can't tell a grown-ass adult what to do, but you can control your own behavior. You can choose not to participate in the meeting, to insist on talking to the POI's partner before the meeting to ensure transparency and consent, or you can choose to leave your existing relationship.

15:45 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write a review on Apple Podcasts! Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, "Good Suspicions."

Episoder(604)

557 The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut

557 The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut

We chat with Kat Stark, blogger, podcaster, and author of Yelling in Pasties: the Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut 0:00 Introduction and host chat Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http:/...

22 Jun 201832min

556 Are shared calendars enough?

556 Are shared calendars enough?

A listener writes in to ask why she was surprised with her partner's dating someone else, even with shared calendars. 0:00 Introduction and host chat Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www....

29 Mai 201817min

555 How to weed out the jerks

555 How to weed out the jerks

A listener writes in to ask how to weed out the jerks when dating. 0:00 Introduction and host chat Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com 1:00 Host chat You've got me solo b...

14 Mai 201817min

554 Grief and loss in relationships

554 Grief and loss in relationships

Dr. Liz Powell shares advice on dealing with grief and loss in relationships 0:00 Introduction and host chat Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com 1:00 Announcements We had ...

7 Mai 201835min

553 What if my metamour won't meet me?

553 What if my metamour won't meet me?

What if my metamour won't meet me? My metamour asked my partner to uninvite me to an event he'd invited me to to avoid meeting me, and now I feel displaced. 0:00 Introduction and host chat Under 18? S...

22 Apr 201832min

552 My wife chose her lover over me

552 My wife chose her lover over me

Cesar's wife told him she missed him and then left to be with her lover. Is the solution to tell her not to say she misses him? 0:00 Introduction and host chat Under 18? Stop listening now and visit h...

26 Mar 201829min

551 Dating the strong, silent type

551 Dating the strong, silent type

Is it OK to date someone who doesn't communicate well if he's all that's available and I like him? 0:00 Introduction and host chat Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com 1:00...

14 Mar 201817min

550 Ask a poly lawyer

550 Ask a poly lawyer

Ben Shenker, a lawyer practicing in Maryland and D.C., answers your poly questions 0:00 Introduction and host chat Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com 1:00 Announcements ...

5 Mar 201831min

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