586 Feast or famine

What do you do when you have one romantic partner and your partner has none?

0:00 Introduction and host chat

• If you're under 18, visit scarleteen.com
• What were your favorite shows of 2019?
  • 569 Building open relationships with Dr. Liz Powell--March 18--17,397
  • 572 When your partner's jealousy precludes your polyamory--April 28--14,392
  • 568 A framework for consent--March 3--13,440
  • 576 Will poly help emotionally unavailable partners--July 1--13,019
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5:15 Contact us

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5:40 Topic: Feast or famine: when you have more partners than your partner

Oliver is in his first non-mono relationship with S. S had said she wouldn't date him if he were monogamous, so he gave it a try. Now he is in a relationship with T, and S has decided that "meaningless sex with strangers" aren't what she wants. Oliver is afraid S will ask him to stop seeing T, since S has no relationship partners.

Has anyone of you ever come across a situation where you've been frustrated with non-monogamy? How can you manage a situation where one partner has other partners while the other one doesn't?

• It's the people involved, not the relationship style you should question.
• Relationships don't have to be equal; they only need to be fair. Your polyamory isn't contingent upon your partner having a certain number of relationships/partners.
• Relationship ruler: is it making you a happier and healthier version of yourself?
• You can be gay and not dating. You can be poly and only dating one person (like Minx)
• You get to decide who you date and how you date them. So does she. She doesn't get to say who you date (although she can certainly establish a boundary that if you date other people, she won't be with you).

17:05 Join the conversation

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17:20 Happy poly moment

C writes in to share a happy poly moment about opening her relationship due to a long-distance move, and things went well!

18:50 Thank you to our subscribers and contributors

Thanks to our new PW Playmate, Tom, for his subscription! Also to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.