593 How do you handle going platonic?

Matt writes in to ask what to do after a partner asks to be platonic while she figures things out. Lusty Guy and Minx give advice.

0:00 Introduction and host chat

• If you're under 18, visit scarleteen.com
• Let's talk about snow and the polar vortex. Seattle snow was fun for us and our puppy, but Minx was worried about her family in Texas.

4:30 Lusty Guy's Politics Corner

• We all learned about the pilgrims founding America to enjoy religious tolerance, but it's not true. They decamped England and went to Amsterdam and then Leiden, where they faced no religious persecution. They stayed there for 10 years and ran for office in order to try to impose their religious views on everyone else. They weren't fleeing religious persecution; they wanted to establish it. Smithsonian Magazine reference, the pilgrims' time in Holland
• A primary reason the US government forbade membership in a specific church to run for office was because no one could agree on which church that should be. Want to find out more? Watch Stephen Fry in America or read the book.

9:45 Feedback

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10:15 How do you handle a relationship going platonic?

Matt had a preexisting relationship with A.J., and Emma fell into that relationship. Emma realizes she needs to spend time on herself and wants to shift the relationship to a platonic friendship.

• Minx suggests seeing this as unrequited love and treating the shift in the nature of the relationship as a breakup.
• Lusty Guy also suggests taking time apart to do that healing from the breakup. He's also concerned that Matt might have a white knight or "nice guy" syndrome and be wishing for a transactional nature to the relationship.
• Consider that waiting for her sounds a lot like wanting to change her, so do take the time to heal and put yourself first instead.

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22:15 Feedback

This week's feedback is an appreciation of Lusty Guy's politics corner.

23:15 Happy Poly Moment

R wrote in to share that she uses Poly Weekly to redirect her anxiety. She expected to be anxious when her partner asked to bring a date over to their place for the first time, and she was pleased when she discovered it didn't kick off her anxiety. She believes she can be healthy and poly!

25:15 Shout out

Shout out to Jenn and Catherine with love from Tammy on their three-year anniversary!

Thank you!

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