S11 Ep. 3: Big Breasts, Weak Orgasms, and Is He Secretly Gay?

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) Kelsey recently said she faked many orgasms while married. What is the general feeling about faking it now? How do most people react when they find out their partner’s faked it? Surely men think it’s a betrayal in the relationship?2) Help! The inevitable has happened: sex with my husband of six years now feels like I’m having sex with my best friend. We’ve both been married before and vowed this wouldn’t happen to us—but it has. I know you’ve talked about this before and, conceptually, I understand why it happens. Can you skip straight to the how-to-fix-it part with some practical tips that make a difference?3) I am a 35-year-old guy and I recently moved to Europe. I’m currently working in a restaurant as a server. Recently, I was serving a couple—a man and a woman. We had a short conversation during their meal about all the usual things. But after I brought them the bill, the man asked me outright if I would be interested in meeting his wife later and having sex with her. I know that people in Europe tend to be more open about their sex lives, and I’m aware that there are many swinger clubs. But what does this mean about their relationship? Is this kind of thing normal? What would be your thoughts on this situation, and how should I respond?To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

10 Apr 26min

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) My wife and I communicate well about sex, but lately I’ve become extremely turned on by the thought of watching her have sex with a stranger. I think it’s called ‘hotwifing.’ It’s just a fantasy, and I’m not sure how I’d feel if we acted on it. Usually, anytime we have a ‘kink’ we tell each other, but I worry she’ll think I’m a pervert with this one! Should I tell her or keep it bottled up? I know it’s quite common, but it’s also weird. I guess my question is: is it normal, and should I tell her or keep it to myself? I doubt she’d be game to do it anyway, and I don’t want to freak her out after 15 years together.2) I’m a 60-year-old man who has been happily married for over 30 years. Sadly, my wife is increasingly less interested in sex. Not only has her libido plummeted, but penetrative sex is painful and non-penetrative sex just doesn’t do it for her. She doesn’t want to give up totally on sex with me, but says it is best if we just do it occasionally. Very occasionally. I struggle with this. I need more than just masturbation, and she understands that. After a lot of talking, she’s suggested we practice non-monogamy. (But just me, since she doesn’t want to have sex with anyone else). We have agreed on some rules: I can’t have sex with someone we know (I wouldn’t anyway), I can’t pay for it, and I must practice safe sex. But that’s as far as we’ve got. Please can you help us, as I don’t know what to do next. And just to clarify: we still love each other, we still want to spend the rest of our lives together, we get on really well, and I am not interested in a romantic relationship—just a ‘play partner.’3) I loved the question asking you both what are three things you wouldn’t do in bed. Can I be cheeky and ask what three things you WOULD like to both do, but have never done!To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

12 Feb 29min

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) I’m a 24-year-old woman and have never enjoyed sex because it hurts. I’ve been checked out by my doctor and there doesn’t seem to be anything anatomically wrong, but sex is never pleasant for me. Can you help?2) I’m a 36-year-old man and have been secretly wearing women’s panties under my clothes for years. It's nothing sinister. I just like the feel of the fabric on my skin and that I'm doing something 'naughty.' I have never told anyone about this and have never been found out. For the first time, I am now in a relationship with a woman I think might understand and even indulge me. Do you think I should chance it and tell her? We’ve been together ten months and I want to marry her.3) Can you suggest a way to speed up sex with my husband? He lasts forever and thinks it’s something to be proud of. I find it boring and I get sore. All I think about is how to make it end. To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

5 Feb 23min

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) I like having sex with my partner, but get so easily distracted. One minute I'm into it, the next I'm worrying about something or spend the whole session thinking, 'Don't forget to do this or that' afterwards. It interferes with my enjoyment. How do I turn off my busy brain?2) My partner has been hassling me to have anal sex for years. I finally gave in, and it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. But it’s never going to be something I look forward to doing. Problem is, he now wants it all the time and sulks when I say no. He says it feels better because it feels tighter.3) I’m a 46-year-old woman who has fallen in love with a 68-year-old man. My friends and family are horrified that I am considering a future with this man even though he doesn't look or act his age. I’m intelligent enough to guess the emotional issues we might confront and know that while the age difference doesn’t matter now, it will later. But what will happen sexually as time goes on? He has no erection problems now, but is there an age when men can no longer get erect? His appetite for sex is very strong but how long will that last? Is there an age when you stop desiring sex?To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

29 Jan 15min

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) I’m 38, have been single for a long time, and haven’t had sex in ages. I’ve now met someone and I’m panicking about having sex with him. I enjoyed sex when I was younger, but now feel like a sexual novice. It’s affecting my confidence and stopping me from enjoying the experience of having someone in my life again.2) We have never tried sex toys and are also on a budget. What do you recommend we start with? We’re straight and in our late 40s. It’s a new relationship and both of us have been with conservative partners in the past, so are keen to make up for all we’ve missed out on.3) For years I tried to change my husband into a better man. I failed and we divorced, and I’m still single. He remarried quickly and, according to our daughter, is now the perfect husband. I feel like I did all the work and his new wife is getting all the rewards. I don’t want to be bitter and twisted about it, but I am. What I don’t understand is this: why could he change with her, and not me?To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

22 Jan 22min

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) Is it wrong to fantasize about another person when you are in bed with your partner? I’ve been married for a very long time and—as you both talk about often—we feel more like friends than lovers. To make sex more arousing, I often fantasize about a woman at work who I mildly flirt with. I sometimes feel a little guilty. Should I? Is this something everyone does?2) For years, I was in a sexless marriage with a husband who didn’t see me. I got friendly with a man I work with and ended up having an affair. It had more to do with loneliness than lust, even though I did care for him. My husband found out and all hell broke loose. We nearly split up, but therapy saved us. The thing is, I see the affair as something that saved our marriage. He sees it as a humiliating betrayal, even though he understands why I did it. I think it’s because he’s the big boss at work and isn’t used to not getting his way. He wants to pretend it never happened, whereas I would like to talk more about it because I see it as a positive thing.3) Does every couple look each other in the eyes when having sex? Or does that just happen in the movies? I can look at my husband for a moment, but usually I want to focus on all the other senses. Plus, I worry my face looks weird. We have great sex, and although my husband looks at me a lot, it doesn’t bother him if I keep my eyes closed. Any tips on how to have longer eye contact and enjoy it? Is there any science related to eye contact during sex?To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

15 Jan 15min

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) I get on well with my boss, but don’t find him attractive in any way. The other night, I had an extremely hot explicit dream about him, and it’s made me feel uncomfortable. Does it mean I secretly want to sleep with him? I often have odd sex dreams. Can you stop yourself from having them?2) I’ve just started a new relationship and I’m nervous he’s not that into me sexually. We’ve only been together three months, and he sometimes struggles to get an erection—and often loses it when he goes down on me. We’re both young—early 20s. Shouldn’t he be up for it and hard as a rock at this age and stage? I’ve asked him about it, and he swears he finds me really attractive and says he’s always like that at the start.3) I’m about to leave my boyfriend for a month to spend time with my family and am worried about how to keep each other sexually satisfied in the meantime. We’re quite good having phone and video sex (we both travel quite a bit), but a month is a long time. Do you have any tips or tricks to keep it all interesting for such a long period?To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

8 Jan 17min

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) I am a straight man and have had a few long-term relationships in my life. Although I enjoy sex, I never ejaculate during intercourse. I am now 50. I can orgasm with intense fantasy and oral sex, but never during penetration. I have read about sensate focus, but are there other options? I am fit and healthy and have no problems ejaculating while masturbating.2) My wife has put on a lot of weight and I’m simply not attracted to her anymore. I’m struggling to get an erection when she initiates sex, and rarely initiate myself. I still love her very much, but this is clearly a problem. How do I deal with this? She keeps asking me if I think she is fat and I keep saying no, but she’s probably twice the size she was when we first met.3) I always thought my oral sex skills were second to none, but it’s clear my new partner isn’t impressed. I know I’m being childish, but I feel hurt. Why did it work on everyone but him? And what do I do now? I only know one way.To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

1 Jan 22min