#81 - Is Social Media Making You Sad?
Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby13 Jan 2016

#81 - Is Social Media Making You Sad?

Is social media giving you social anxiety? You're not alone. Many people feel worse about themselves and their lives after logging into Facebook or Instagram. Engagement rings, new babies, new houses, envious vacations, and tales of spouses doing eye-mistingly touching things scroll up endlessly. You should be happy for your friends, right? That their lives are so wonderful and amazing is a glorious thing, right? But it still makes your stomach tighten into a fist as you think of your own diamond-less, baby-less life. You can't help but comparing your house to theirs, your vacation to theirs, and... worst of all... your partner to theirs. Like how he surprised her with five hundred cheerios arranged on the table to say, "I love you!" and a serenade of "You Are My Sunshine" by their three young children when she walked in for breakfast -- just because! Like how she orchestrated a multi-day treasure hunt involving GPS, clues handed by anonymous "strangers" and a midnight trip on a crosstown bus cumulating in the discovery of front row concert tickets for him to see his idol live on stage, only to be met there by the two best friends she'd arranged to fly in from each coast for the event. Like how your partner can't even be bothered to pick up a cheerio off the floor and couldn't pick your best friend out of a line up -- even if you could tear him away from the Xbox. In short: More people than you'd expect feel like taking a Xanax and / or fire-bombing their lives after a ten minute Facebook session. How do I know this? Because I am a therapist and life coach, and people tell me their secrets. My clients are some of the most poised, socially savvy, outwardly successful, wealthy, and gorgeous people you'll ever meet. But they don't feel that way when they are looking at Facebook. They feel like they are failing at life, and it makes them anxious as hell. (And that's not just my opinion: Research links the use of Facebook to increased feelings of depression). Even worse, their social media and the assumptions they make about others because of it can actually create more distance and separation in their lives. Feeling anxious and self-conscious about their own life and achievements pressures people into image management. Increasingly careful about what they share they start to feel more isolated instead of more connected. The net result? They feel anxious, dissatisfied with their lives, and lonely. (And like there is something terribly wrong with them because of this). As Brene Brown so beautifully outlined for the world in her TED Talk, "The Power of Vulnerability" shame leads us to hide, and disconnect in efforts to protect ourselves. The anxiety generating machine of Facebook then, ironically, becomes the antitheses of the connection it was intended to create. How to Feel More Connected, and Less Anxious About Social Media Today on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm sharing some insights with you that will help ease your anxiety over social media and restore the connection in your life. We'll be talking about a marvelous theory posed by Tim Urban in his blog "Wait But Why" about why social media makes people unhappy, as well as how the culture of curation is eroding authenticity and vulnerability. I'll be sharing a cautionary tale from my own life about the potential for tragedy from taking Facebook at face value. Lastly, I'll be sharing some actionable ideas that will help you stop judging your own life, and restore your bond to the people you care about. Ready to change your relationship with social media? You might also enjoy this article from the Huffington Post : 7 Types Of People You Should Unfriend On Facebook ASAP Listen now: Is Social Media Making You Sad? (Episode 64 of the Love, Happiness & Success Podcast) Music Credits: Public Image, LTD, "Public Image" (And while you're there, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast and leave a review -- your support means the world to me!) Now, let's get real. In the podcast, in the spirit of "radical authenticity" I shared a story about how a close friend and I became disconnected from each other during a time that we really needed each other because of the pitfalls of social media. Has there been a time in your life that social media got in the way of your connection, or made you feel "less than?" If so please share in the comments at this link: http://www.growingself.com/is-social-media-making-you-sad/ It will help others feel less alone. xo, Lisa http://www.growingself.com

Episoder(471)

#224 - Honest Advice From an Online Dating Coach

#224 - Honest Advice From an Online Dating Coach

If you're currently single you've probably experienced first hand the new online dating reality: Dating in the pandemic age is more complex than ever. However, there are fantastic opportunities to create healthy new relationships — if you know the pitfalls to avoid. On this episode of the podcast, get expert online dating coach advice from dating coach Markie K. She shares her top "dating advice do's and don'ts" to help you navigate the new modern dating landscape with clarity and confidence. Join us! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby PS: Get even MORE of Markie's great dating advice on the blog at GrowingSelf.com.

14 Des 202032min

#223 - What Men Secretly Want? Emotional Intimacy.

#223 - What Men Secretly Want? Emotional Intimacy.

Men crave emotional connection too. But our culture can lead boys and men towards toxic masculinity that impedes emotional intelligence, and damages emotional health (not to mention relationships!) My guest today is Andrew Reiner, frequent contributor to the New York Times and the author of Better Boys, Better Men: The New Masculinity That Creates Greater Courage and Emotional Resiliency. He's generously sharing the strategies his research has uncovered for how to cultivate emotional health and connected relationships with men. If you are a man (or love one!) "What Men Secretly Want" is a must listen. Join us! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

7 Des 20201h 3min

#222 - Discernment Counseling

#222 - Discernment Counseling

I've had many "my relationship is on the brink, what do I do?" questions from listeners lately. When one person is half out the door, standard-issue relationship advice and conventional marriage counseling approaches can make things worse. But Discernment Counseling — a special, obscure type of couples counseling — can still save your relationship. In today's episode we're doing a deep dive into the unique dynamics of failing relationships in order to help you use the principles of discernment counseling to potentially turn things around. Join me!  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby More relationship questions? Leave them for me (and help yourself to more free resources) on the blog at GrowingSelf.com.

30 Nov 20201h

#221 - Dysfunctional Family Roles

#221 - Dysfunctional Family Roles

Were you the perfect child? The clown? The scapegoat? If you weren't who your family needed you to be, did other people fall apart? Without self-awareness and intentional correction, dysfunctional family roles from your family of origin can sabotage your adult relationships. In this podcast episode I'm sharing strategies to help you learn how to overcome the legacy of a dysfunctional family, stop the cycle, and develop healthy relationships today. Join me! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby More about Dysfunctional Family Roles on GrowingSelf.com...

23 Nov 20201h 4min

#220 - How to Deal With Covid Anxiety: Re-Release

#220 - How to Deal With Covid Anxiety: Re-Release

If you have anxiety about coronavirus, you’re not alone. Many people have been experiencing Covid anxiety, and understandably so. The virus is spreading, things are being canceled, schools and businesses are closing, and these are uncertain times.  There's lots in the news about how to protect your physical health, but not so much info about how to protect your mental health from coronavirus-related anxiety.  Help is here: On this episode I’m sharing practical strategies for how to manage Corona anxiety using helpful cognitive-behavioral strategies so that you can stay in a good place mentally and emotionally during this challenging time.  Wishing you love, happiness, success and health, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby PS: In addition to the anxiety management strategies I shared on this episode I mentioned a couple of resources that you might use in addition to online therapy for anxiety. These include: The book, “Feeling Good” by Dr. David Burns The book, “10 Best Ever Anxiety Management Techniques” by Dr. Margaret Wehrenberg The online Happiness Class: The online CBT therapy course that teaches you cognitive skills for managing anxiety as well as mindfulness strategies and emotional regulation skills. Mindfulness training apps, and also the mindfulness / stress management videos I have available for you on my IGTV channel @drlisamariebobby

23 Nov 202041min

#219 - Thinking of you today!

#219 - Thinking of you today!

Dr. Lisa here, doing a swan dive into your podcast feed a little early today to let you know that if you've been experiencing a resurgence of "covid anxiety" lately, you're not alone. I'm re-releasing my "How to Cope With Covid Anxiety" podcast episode for you right now, and will be back in touch later today with a new episode.  Wishing you all the best,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

23 Nov 20203min

#218 - Long Distance Relationship Questions

#218 - Long Distance Relationship Questions

Long distance relationships have unique challenges, but love from a distance can work beautifully. In today's episode I'm answering your long distance relationship questions around: How to keep your connection strong when you're living apart How to manage feelings of anxiety and insecurity in a long distance relationship The unique stressors (and opportunities) of long distance couples The most important "Us" conversations all long distance couples must have How to cohabitate successfully after living long distance And more!  xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby P.S. If you have questions about your relationship share them in the comments of the "Long Distance Relationship Questions" post so I can answer them. While you're on GrowingSelf.com, be sure check out the other articles and podcasts we have on this topic. It's all for you!

9 Nov 202048min

#217 - How to Have Difficult Conversations

#217 - How to Have Difficult Conversations

Difficult conversations are tough to have, and easy to avoid (or botch). But authentic communication is vital for healthy relationships — especially when it's about something that is really important to you. It's at times like these that productive, compassionate "critical conversations" are so crucial.  Today: Learn real-world strategies for how to have difficult conversations so that you can prevent differences from fracturing your most important relationships. xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

2 Nov 202058min

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