#81 - Is Social Media Making You Sad?
Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby13 Jan 2016

#81 - Is Social Media Making You Sad?

Is social media giving you social anxiety? You're not alone. Many people feel worse about themselves and their lives after logging into Facebook or Instagram. Engagement rings, new babies, new houses, envious vacations, and tales of spouses doing eye-mistingly touching things scroll up endlessly. You should be happy for your friends, right? That their lives are so wonderful and amazing is a glorious thing, right? But it still makes your stomach tighten into a fist as you think of your own diamond-less, baby-less life. You can't help but comparing your house to theirs, your vacation to theirs, and... worst of all... your partner to theirs. Like how he surprised her with five hundred cheerios arranged on the table to say, "I love you!" and a serenade of "You Are My Sunshine" by their three young children when she walked in for breakfast -- just because! Like how she orchestrated a multi-day treasure hunt involving GPS, clues handed by anonymous "strangers" and a midnight trip on a crosstown bus cumulating in the discovery of front row concert tickets for him to see his idol live on stage, only to be met there by the two best friends she'd arranged to fly in from each coast for the event. Like how your partner can't even be bothered to pick up a cheerio off the floor and couldn't pick your best friend out of a line up -- even if you could tear him away from the Xbox. In short: More people than you'd expect feel like taking a Xanax and / or fire-bombing their lives after a ten minute Facebook session. How do I know this? Because I am a therapist and life coach, and people tell me their secrets. My clients are some of the most poised, socially savvy, outwardly successful, wealthy, and gorgeous people you'll ever meet. But they don't feel that way when they are looking at Facebook. They feel like they are failing at life, and it makes them anxious as hell. (And that's not just my opinion: Research links the use of Facebook to increased feelings of depression). Even worse, their social media and the assumptions they make about others because of it can actually create more distance and separation in their lives. Feeling anxious and self-conscious about their own life and achievements pressures people into image management. Increasingly careful about what they share they start to feel more isolated instead of more connected. The net result? They feel anxious, dissatisfied with their lives, and lonely. (And like there is something terribly wrong with them because of this). As Brene Brown so beautifully outlined for the world in her TED Talk, "The Power of Vulnerability" shame leads us to hide, and disconnect in efforts to protect ourselves. The anxiety generating machine of Facebook then, ironically, becomes the antitheses of the connection it was intended to create. How to Feel More Connected, and Less Anxious About Social Media Today on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm sharing some insights with you that will help ease your anxiety over social media and restore the connection in your life. We'll be talking about a marvelous theory posed by Tim Urban in his blog "Wait But Why" about why social media makes people unhappy, as well as how the culture of curation is eroding authenticity and vulnerability. I'll be sharing a cautionary tale from my own life about the potential for tragedy from taking Facebook at face value. Lastly, I'll be sharing some actionable ideas that will help you stop judging your own life, and restore your bond to the people you care about. Ready to change your relationship with social media? You might also enjoy this article from the Huffington Post : 7 Types Of People You Should Unfriend On Facebook ASAP Listen now: Is Social Media Making You Sad? (Episode 64 of the Love, Happiness & Success Podcast) Music Credits: Public Image, LTD, "Public Image" (And while you're there, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast and leave a review -- your support means the world to me!) Now, let's get real. In the podcast, in the spirit of "radical authenticity" I shared a story about how a close friend and I became disconnected from each other during a time that we really needed each other because of the pitfalls of social media. Has there been a time in your life that social media got in the way of your connection, or made you feel "less than?" If so please share in the comments at this link: http://www.growingself.com/is-social-media-making-you-sad/ It will help others feel less alone. xo, Lisa http://www.growingself.com

Episoder(472)

#209 - How To Get Unstuck

#209 - How To Get Unstuck

If you've been feeling trapped lately, and like you don't know which way to turn — this episode is for you. We're doing a deep dive into how to get mentally and emotionally unstuck with life and career coach Elise Ross.  Listen for actionable advice and new ideas that will help you break free and start moving forward again. xo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com

24 Aug 202055min

#208 - Letting Go Of Resentment

#208 - Letting Go Of Resentment

Are you holding on to resentment about hurtful things that have happened in the past? Is your partner? In today's episode, we’re talking about how to let go of resentment in your relationship, so that you can both move forward, put the past behind you, and start enjoying each other again. xo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com

17 Aug 202046min

#207 - Burnout Prevention and Recovery

#207 - Burnout Prevention and Recovery

If you've been feeling mentally and emotionally exhausted, and that the daily grind is relentless... you are not alone. The realities "corona-life" are wearing down even the sturdiest and most productive among us.  Help is here: Today's show is all about helping you recover from burnout, reclaim control, cultivate resilience, reprioritize time and energy, and craft a sustainable "burnout prevention" plan for yourself, your career and your family. With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

10 Aug 202055min

#206 - Moving Forward: The Path of Personal Growth

#206 - Moving Forward: The Path of Personal Growth

A listener asked, “I want to grow and move forward, but HOW?” Today, I'm giving you the inside scoop — from my perspective as a therapist and life coach — into what the process of personal growth actually involves so that YOU can move forward. We're discussing: The circumstances that set the stage for growth (and why now is the perfect time) How to transform a "breakdown" into a "breakthrough" Why courageously tapping into your dark emotions is essential What things may seem like “obstacles” but actually ARE the path forward in disguise! The key turning points that accelerate your growth Shifting from a victim mindset to one of empowerment How to release your participation in old patterns for good And more! I hope this discussion provided you with both hope and direction as you find your own path forward. Questions or comments about this episode? Share them! "Moving Forward" @ GrowingSelf.com xo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

2 Aug 202053min

#205 - The Signs of Low Self Esteem

#205 - The Signs of Low Self Esteem

How healthy is your self esteem? If don't feel good about YOU, it's hard stay in a good place and feel confident, hopeful, and effective. In this episode, we'll explore the signs of low self esteem and its causes, and discuss the action oriented strategies that will help you feel good again.  Bonus! Text the word "ESTEEM" to 55444 to get the "How Healthy is Your Self Esteem" quiz, to see where you land on the spectrum of self esteem. To growth! xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com

27 Jul 20201h 12min

#204 - When To Call It Quits in a Relationship

#204 - When To Call It Quits in a Relationship

How do you know when it's time to break up? Knowing when to end a relationship can be confusing, especially when there are good parts — and maybe even hope for the future. Some people are clear that they're done with the relationship, but worry that the realities of single life could be harder than trudging on in the marriage.  If you're in this bind, today's episode is for you. We're tackling questions like: How can you get clarity and confidence around whether to end a relationship? What are the signs that hope and growth is still possible (even if it hasn't happened yet?) What are the "no-hope" red flags that you need to listen to? What if you want to break up, but feel guilty about it? What do you do if you’re unhappy in your relationship, but are facing practical realities such as co-parenting concerns or financial consequences if you separate? All that and more, plus insights, thought provoking questions, and action steps to help you move forward one way or another, on this episode of the podcast.  xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Comments or Questions? Share them in this post @GrowingSelf.com

20 Jul 20201h 18min

#203 - What's Your Attachment Style?

#203 - What's Your Attachment Style?

How do you relate to others? Are you unknowingly getting involved with people who are only going to hurt you? How do romantic partners experience you — good, bad, and ugly? How can you release self-limiting patterns in relationships so that you can create a healthy, secure, long-term connection?  Understanding your attachment style can provide you with answers to all these questions. Listen and learn about attachment styles, what they mean for you, and don't forget to text "ATTACH" to 55444 to get the Attachment Style Assessment to uncover your own patterns in relationships.  All for you,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

13 Jul 20201h 1min

#202 - When Your Partner Has a Problem

#202 - When Your Partner Has a Problem

Are you in a relationship with someone who has issues they're not getting help for? It is painful to watch someone you love struggle, and it's also frustrating when you're not getting your needs met in a relationship. How do you help someone who won't help themselves? How long do you wait? When does being "supportive" slide into being "codependent?" When do you call it quits and move on? All that and more, on this episode. Wishing you all the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

6 Jul 20201h 4min

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