#81 - Is Social Media Making You Sad?

#81 - Is Social Media Making You Sad?

Is social media giving you social anxiety? You're not alone. Many people feel worse about themselves and their lives after logging into Facebook or Instagram. Engagement rings, new babies, new houses, envious vacations, and tales of spouses doing eye-mistingly touching things scroll up endlessly. You should be happy for your friends, right? That their lives are so wonderful and amazing is a glorious thing, right? But it still makes your stomach tighten into a fist as you think of your own diamond-less, baby-less life. You can't help but comparing your house to theirs, your vacation to theirs, and... worst of all... your partner to theirs. Like how he surprised her with five hundred cheerios arranged on the table to say, "I love you!" and a serenade of "You Are My Sunshine" by their three young children when she walked in for breakfast -- just because! Like how she orchestrated a multi-day treasure hunt involving GPS, clues handed by anonymous "strangers" and a midnight trip on a crosstown bus cumulating in the discovery of front row concert tickets for him to see his idol live on stage, only to be met there by the two best friends she'd arranged to fly in from each coast for the event. Like how your partner can't even be bothered to pick up a cheerio off the floor and couldn't pick your best friend out of a line up -- even if you could tear him away from the Xbox. In short: More people than you'd expect feel like taking a Xanax and / or fire-bombing their lives after a ten minute Facebook session. How do I know this? Because I am a therapist and life coach, and people tell me their secrets. My clients are some of the most poised, socially savvy, outwardly successful, wealthy, and gorgeous people you'll ever meet. But they don't feel that way when they are looking at Facebook. They feel like they are failing at life, and it makes them anxious as hell. (And that's not just my opinion: Research links the use of Facebook to increased feelings of depression). Even worse, their social media and the assumptions they make about others because of it can actually create more distance and separation in their lives. Feeling anxious and self-conscious about their own life and achievements pressures people into image management. Increasingly careful about what they share they start to feel more isolated instead of more connected. The net result? They feel anxious, dissatisfied with their lives, and lonely. (And like there is something terribly wrong with them because of this). As Brene Brown so beautifully outlined for the world in her TED Talk, "The Power of Vulnerability" shame leads us to hide, and disconnect in efforts to protect ourselves. The anxiety generating machine of Facebook then, ironically, becomes the antitheses of the connection it was intended to create. How to Feel More Connected, and Less Anxious About Social Media Today on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm sharing some insights with you that will help ease your anxiety over social media and restore the connection in your life. We'll be talking about a marvelous theory posed by Tim Urban in his blog "Wait But Why" about why social media makes people unhappy, as well as how the culture of curation is eroding authenticity and vulnerability. I'll be sharing a cautionary tale from my own life about the potential for tragedy from taking Facebook at face value. Lastly, I'll be sharing some actionable ideas that will help you stop judging your own life, and restore your bond to the people you care about. Ready to change your relationship with social media? You might also enjoy this article from the Huffington Post : 7 Types Of People You Should Unfriend On Facebook ASAP Listen now: Is Social Media Making You Sad? (Episode 64 of the Love, Happiness & Success Podcast) Music Credits: Public Image, LTD, "Public Image" (And while you're there, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast and leave a review -- your support means the world to me!) Now, let's get real. In the podcast, in the spirit of "radical authenticity" I shared a story about how a close friend and I became disconnected from each other during a time that we really needed each other because of the pitfalls of social media. Has there been a time in your life that social media got in the way of your connection, or made you feel "less than?" If so please share in the comments at this link: http://www.growingself.com/is-social-media-making-you-sad/ It will help others feel less alone. xo, Lisa http://www.growingself.com

Episoder(470)

#160 - Why Friendships End

#160 - Why Friendships End

Many people get involved with therapy or life coachinghere at Growing Self in order to improve all their relationships — not just their romantic partnerships or marriages. Let's face it: Friendships can present their own unique challenges.   If this is an area of growth for you, too, you'll definitely want to listen to this episode. I'll be discussing: Why friendships end How the dynamics of friendships are similar to and different from romantic relationships How to mend a friendship that has been feeling strained What to do about toxic friendships How to cope if you've been ghosted by a friend The path of healing after an unexpected friendship loss How to end a friendship compassionately How to change a friendship if you need different boundaries with a friend I hope these ideas help you strengthen your friendships and keep healthy people in your life! xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby, LMFT, LP, BCC Ps: Thoughts? Questions? Comments? Here's the link to join the discussion at GrowingSelf.com

22 Jul 20191h 6min

#159 - 10 Tips For a Restorative Vacation

#159 - 10 Tips For a Restorative Vacation

The Art of Vacationing Well It is vacation season, and you probably have some getaways planned. (I hope.) But if you are of the "rest is for mortals" mindset, you are not alone. So today I'm bringing you ten tips that will help you make the most of your hard earned vacation time -- whether you travel to exotic lands or just stick around town.  We'll be discussing how to: 1) Take time off without feeling guilty about it 2) Use your vacation time intentionally and mindfully 3) Prepare to step out in such a way as to minimize "re-entry stress" upon your return 4) Set boundaries with others (and yourself) so you can relax and be present 5) Learn how to make them positive benefits of your vacation experience last, even after you're back And much, much more -- all on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast.  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

8 Jul 201951min

#158 - What to Do When Your Partner Refuses Marriage Counseling

#158 - What to Do When Your Partner Refuses Marriage Counseling

Saving a Relationship, Single-Handedly It can feel really discouraging when you are eager to work on your relationship, and your partner is less than enthused about going to marriage counseling or relationship coaching. But know this: Every couple who gets to marriage counseling does so because one of the partners initiates it. In your relationship, that person might need to be you. And that is okay.   This episode will give you insight into what might be going on inside your partner when they say things like:   "Things aren't that bad"   "Marriage counseling is too expensive"  "We don't need to tell a stranger about our problems"  "I absolutely refuse to go to marriage counseling"  I'm sharing some tips and ideas that can help you you ease their concerns. I hope this advice helps you help YOUR partner take the first step forward with you, and start growing back together again. All the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

1 Jul 201955min

#157 - How to Keep Your Relationship Strong After Having a Baby

#157 - How to Keep Your Relationship Strong After Having a Baby

Welcoming a new baby into the world can be one of the most exciting and joyful times for a couple... and also one of the hardest. It's unfortunately very common to have marriage problems after baby. As marriage counselors and family therapists we often see that most couples spend so much time and energy preparing for the birth, and how to take care of their newborn, they neglect to think about how they'll keep their relationship strong after baby. Because this transition to parenthood can feel so challenging for many couples, we're devoting a whole episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast to supporting you through it. Marriage and family therapist and parenting coach Jessica Small will be sharing her tips for how to not just keep your relationship strong after baby, but set yourself up for success in the years to come. Listen now to get Jessica's advice for how to: Prepare your relationship for a baby Have crucial conversations that will help you work through issues as they come up How to support each other emotionally after having a baby Practice practical strategies to make things easier for both of you Keep a compassionate mindset Create a happy new chapter for your marriage We hope that this information helps you successfully transition from being a happy couple to a happy family! Sincerely, Jessica Small, M.A., LMFTand Lisa Marie Bobby, PhD, LMFT www.GrowingSelf.com

25 Jun 201954min

#156 - How to Get Ahead at Work

#156 - How to Get Ahead at Work

Do you feel frustrated with your current job? Perhaps you generally feel good about your line of work, but want to take it to the next level. Maybe, like so many people, you're feeling a vague sense of dissatisfaction with your job: You know you want more, you know you can do more, but aren't sure which direction you should go in — much less how to make it happen. Today, you're in for a treat. I've invited Denver career coachand leadership coach Nicholas Manning to speak with me on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, and share his best advice for how to move past paralysis and stagnation, and start taking control of your career in a new way. We're talking about many things to support your professional development, including: How to know it's time for a career change (and where to start) How to make a values-based plan for your career Why you're not getting promoted The importance of emotional intelligence at work Learning how to be a leader Coping with a bad boss And much more!  We help this career advice helps you make positive changes, and develop a more fulfilling and rewarding career! Lisa Marie Bobby, PhD & Nicholas Manning, MBA   www.growingself.com

3 Jun 201947min

#155 - Find True Love: Real-Deal Dating Advice

#155 - Find True Love: Real-Deal Dating Advice

On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm putting on my dating coach hat to give you some free dating advice for how to date with confidence, and hopefully find your true love this summer. I'll be discussing: How to date with intention, and save yourself time, energy and frustration How to get interesting people interested in YOU New relationship warning signs What to look for in a potential partner How to establish a healthy long-term relationship If you're single and hoping to find true love this summer, you'll definitely want to listen. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby  www.GrowingSelf.com

28 Mai 20191h 8min

#154 - How Travel Helps You Grow

#154 - How Travel Helps You Grow

These days, travel is more than just taking a trip. Where you go, who you go with, and what you do when you're in complete control of your time says a lot about you. Your personality, your interests, and even your identity becomes intertwined with what you do during your leisure time. More importantly, traveling with intention can lead to personal growth. Having new experiences, getting a fresh perspective, and putting yourself in challenging situations can help you expand: Becoming wiser, more worldly, and more resilient. Traveling well can also provide you with benefits that linger long after you get back home. Because traveling well is such an important aspect of personal growth, I've invited travel writer Aditi Shrikant of Vox to discuss the psychological impact of travel on people, and things to consider as you're planning your summer adventure. She shares her insight into making travel meaningful, and as well as some tips to get the most personal impact from your vacation. Your partner in adventure! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

20 Mai 20191h 7min

#153 - How to Start Making Positive Changes in Your Life

#153 - How to Start Making Positive Changes in Your Life

We think of the process of changing your life as a positive thing — one that is hopeful, and infused with joy. However, here's the dirt: While the results are absolutely positive, no-one ever, ever, changes because they're just so happy with their life as it currently is. No. People actually change because they are frustrated, annoyed, hurt, embarrassed, experiencing negative consequences, or just completely worn out and exhausted from living the way they have been. It takes a brave soul to raise their hand and say, "This is what changing my life actually was like — tell my story." It's such a treasure when that happens though. We all learn from each other, and hearing how people just like us learned, changed, grew, and evolved, creates an inspirational path that we can then follow ourselves. Today, on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast that is exactly what we are doing. My dear colleague, fellow Denver therapist and online life coach Polly Drew has an inspiring story of personal transformation to share. She talks about the change process: From her first awareness that she had a problem, to how she got the motivation to start making changes, to the support and systems she needed to put into place in order to be successful in changing her life. We're talking all about what it takes to really change your life on this episode of the podcast. With love, Lisa Marie Bobby, PhD, LMFT& Polly Drew, M.Ed., LMFT www.growingself.com

13 Mai 20191h 3min

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