62: Oh, the Jews' Manatees! (The Book of Numbers)
Apocrypals19 Apr 2020

62: Oh, the Jews' Manatees! (The Book of Numbers)

One thing you have to say for the Book of Numbers, Theophiloi: it is exactly what it says in the title. Well, most of it is, anyway. Mixed in with all the census totals and step-by-step MapQuest directions to the Promised Land, though, is some truly wild stuff, including the return of one of our favorite Biblical tropes, the talking animal that no one seems to think is odd in the slightest. Join us, but make sure to brace yourself for a whole lot of skantent.

Topics of discussion: The Devil's Bible (Wizard Magazine), the Devil's Bible (Codex Gigas), horse_ebooks, "Petition Pit," Scholars and Clowns, the two wolves inside us, clown eggs, James O'Barr's The Crow, a large Jamie Madrox of frog, the P editor, a mysterious animal that is either a sea cow or a Lady Rainicorn, Nazarite vs. Nazarene, the Aaronic Benediction, the Lord's invention of ska, an extremely clutch joke made to my wife, Nachos Galacticos, something that is definitely not an idol, Mt. TERF, God just making a bunch of disembodied mouths and then going to bed, Ac***a Gr**e, some wild nasty idol worship in Peor, Rimmon-Perez, a home for Slayer.

Hymnal: "Let Me Ride That Donkey" by 69 Boyz, "Waterloo" by Stephen Mann of English Martyrs Church (https://www.youtube.com/user/Principal45)

Offertory: As Enoch writes, "Whoever of you spends gold or silver for his brother's sake, he will receive ample treasure in the world to come." http://ko-fi.com/apocrypals

Episoder(126)

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13: Bonus Goat (The Deuterocanonical Book of Tobit)

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30 Jul 20181h 23min

12: Whomst Was At the Tombst? (The Gospel of John, Part Two)

12: Whomst Was At the Tombst? (The Gospel of John, Part Two)

Okay, Theophiloi, let's get this clear right now: Roy Thomas was the second editor-in-chief of Marvel after Stan Lee, and is often considered to have been the first comics creator to make the leap fro...

15 Jul 20181h 23min

11: 90s Vertigo Jesus (The Gospel of John, Part One)

11: 90s Vertigo Jesus (The Gospel of John, Part One)

Oh h*ck yeah! Your hosts done done it again, y'all: we goofed around and talked a whole lot about the Gospel of John. You'd think after going through this stuff four times, we'd be a little more effic...

9 Jul 20181h 25min

10: The Dude Hates Wizards (The Gospel of Luke)

10: The Dude Hates Wizards (The Gospel of Luke)

Congratulations be upon you, Theophiloi (and possibly Apocryphinos)! We hope you're ready for some Johnny Bapto content, because that's what we have a lot of this time around, as we go into the Gospel...

2 Jul 20181h 32min

9: Simon Peter's Sweet Sixteen (The Gospel of Matthew, Part Two)

9: Simon Peter's Sweet Sixteen (The Gospel of Matthew, Part Two)

A question for you, Theophiloi: How many times would you like to listen to us go through the Gospel of Matthew? As many as... seven times? Well, you'll have to settle for two, as this week finds us fi...

24 Jun 20181h 9min

8: What's Up, Doctor Goodacre (The Gospel of Matthew, Part One)

8: What's Up, Doctor Goodacre (The Gospel of Matthew, Part One)

Congratulations be upon you, Theophiloi! So remember how last week, we had our longest episode ever? Well, your boys done did it again. We went so deep into the Gospel of Matthew that we wound up reco...

10 Jun 20181h 9min

7: Neon Genesis Good News (The Gospel of Mark and Secret Mark)

7: Neon Genesis Good News (The Gospel of Mark and Secret Mark)

"When the scribes of the Pharisees saw that He was eating with sinners and tax collectors, they asked His disciples, 'why does He eat with tax collectors and sinners?' When Jesus heard this, He told t...

3 Jun 20181h 50min

6: Fresh Prince of Beliar (The Ascension of Isaiah)

6: Fresh Prince of Beliar (The Ascension of Isaiah)

"And Isaiah answered and said 'So far as I have utterance, damned and accused be thou and all thy powers and all thy house, for thou canst not take from me aught save the skin of my body.' And they si...

27 Mai 20181h 11min

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