62: Oh, the Jews' Manatees! (The Book of Numbers)
Apocrypals19 Apr 2020

62: Oh, the Jews' Manatees! (The Book of Numbers)

One thing you have to say for the Book of Numbers, Theophiloi: it is exactly what it says in the title. Well, most of it is, anyway. Mixed in with all the census totals and step-by-step MapQuest directions to the Promised Land, though, is some truly wild stuff, including the return of one of our favorite Biblical tropes, the talking animal that no one seems to think is odd in the slightest. Join us, but make sure to brace yourself for a whole lot of skantent.

Topics of discussion: The Devil's Bible (Wizard Magazine), the Devil's Bible (Codex Gigas), horse_ebooks, "Petition Pit," Scholars and Clowns, the two wolves inside us, clown eggs, James O'Barr's The Crow, a large Jamie Madrox of frog, the P editor, a mysterious animal that is either a sea cow or a Lady Rainicorn, Nazarite vs. Nazarene, the Aaronic Benediction, the Lord's invention of ska, an extremely clutch joke made to my wife, Nachos Galacticos, something that is definitely not an idol, Mt. TERF, God just making a bunch of disembodied mouths and then going to bed, Ac***a Gr**e, some wild nasty idol worship in Peor, Rimmon-Perez, a home for Slayer.

Hymnal: "Let Me Ride That Donkey" by 69 Boyz, "Waterloo" by Stephen Mann of English Martyrs Church (https://www.youtube.com/user/Principal45)

Offertory: As Enoch writes, "Whoever of you spends gold or silver for his brother's sake, he will receive ample treasure in the world to come." http://ko-fi.com/apocrypals

Episoder(126)

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15 Nov 20201h 40min

76: Filling the Room (The Life of St. Martin)

76: Filling the Room (The Life of St. Martin)

If you thought the Song of Solomon was going to be a tough one for us to get through with our "Clean" tag intact, Theophiloi, brace yourselves for the Life of St. Martin. With a translation that almos...

1 Nov 20201h 47min

75: Lazer Babies (The Apocalypse of Peter)

75: Lazer Babies (The Apocalypse of Peter)

Happy Halloween, DRACULA-philoi, and pre-SCARE to have your sins counted as we descend once more into HELL! Specifically the Hell described in the Apocalypse of Simon "The Rock" Peter, in which everyo...

18 Okt 20201h 27min

74: Howl of the Ostrich (The Books of Micah and Nahum)

74: Howl of the Ostrich (The Books of Micah and Nahum)

If you've ever read Bible and thought "hey, this is great but I wish it had dudes just unleashing straight metaphorical fire on workers of iniquity," then allow your humble Sons of Thunder to introduc...

4 Okt 20201h 4min

73: Be Courageous! (The Book of Joshua)

73: Be Courageous! (The Book of Joshua)

Happy New Year, Theophiloi! That's right, it's Rosh Hashanah time, and we are 100% Done In 5781™. Also done? Joshua, whose journey to become the second Moses is going to take him down the path of mass...

20 Sep 20201h 39min

72: Cold Brew Paul (Paul's Letter to the Galatians)

72: Cold Brew Paul (Paul's Letter to the Galatians)

One half of your humble Sons of Thunder is joining you from real-for-real quarantine, dear Theophiloi, but that won't stop us from griping our way through our first canonical New Testament book of thi...

6 Sep 20201h 25min

71: Approximate Week Chapter 3: Parabellum (The War Scroll)

71: Approximate Week Chapter 3: Parabellum (The War Scroll)

If you seek birthdays, Theophiloi, prepare for war — the War Scroll, that is! As we celebrate the Approximate Week between our two personal nativities, we dive into the Dead Sea Scrolls for the first ...

23 Aug 20201h 29min

70: Two Firkin Bored (The Letter of Aristeas)

70: Two Firkin Bored (The Letter of Aristeas)

Having trouble sleeping, Theophiloi? Well here's an evangelion for you: this episode covers a letter written by the most boring person to ever cover a miracle. Get ready for intense table measurements...

9 Aug 20201h 34min

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