162: How to Stop People Pleasing and Find Your Voice

People pleasing is destructive! It's time to find your own voice and become the most powerful version of yourself. In this episode I'll share tips on how to find your voice and show up as your most confident self every single day.

Show Notes:

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Partial Transcript (Read the Full Transcript HERE):

Goal Diggers, I know as you listen to this, that you probably have struggled with people pleasing at some point in time and, you know, finding your voice, it can take some time. Right? It can take some work. I find that it, when I work with women, one-on-one, it's often them not voicing their desires. Like they're almost afraid, right. Or to speak up. So let's talk about that. Let's talk about why pleasing everyone around you is impossible. It actually can be a bit destructive and it's a way that when you think about how you want to find your voice and stop trying to make everyone happy, let's shift your perspective on it. 'Cause I think we're afraid of the outcome of that. Right? But let's talk about why it can be destructive, how you can break this cycle of events. And then first let's have a listener review.

This review says "Start 2021 Off Right. If you are an entrepreneur, start with episode 154, then work your way around". Oh, I love that. "Get grounded first, just like you should aim before you shoot. Kimberly speaks my language and I have learned so much from her. Txfallons". Thank you so much. Y'all I can't even tell you, listener reviews. I know what it takes to take a moment to leave a review. Right? We all think we want to do it, and we just don't. So for those that take the time to do it, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I really appreciate that review. Now let's dive into this episode on stopping the people pleasing and finding your voice.

So when it comes to being a people pleaser, I'm a recovering people pleaser. I grew up in a home where, you know, you were acknowledged or you have more attention when you did something well. It was expected to achieve, like I was just raised in that kind of environment. Okay. And I think, really looking back, like my parents always did the best that they could. Right. My mom was a single parent, we lived with my grandfather for many years. But what happened was, is that became part of who I was. I became a people pleaser in relationships, in work, with my family. And I found it very hard to speak my voice. So if I had an opinion about something or I wanted to disagree with someone, I found it very hard to speak.

My greatest example is, let's say someone on your team does something that's inappropriate, maybe in a group chat, they're being negative. In the past, I wouldn't reach out to that person and say anything. I would just be like, "ahhh!". Like almost like passive aggressive. Just like, let it go. Right. Well now, because I've learned how to grab my voice and use it, I would reach out to that person privately and say, "Hey, just so you know, the group chat is for- needs to stay positive. If you need to vent or you feel frustrated, I need you to come to me privately". No big deal. Right? Just say it.