#3 How do we even begin to heal?

#3 How do we even begin to heal?

A warm welcome to the third episode of the Choosing to Stay podcast; today, we will delve into the significance of emotional and physical safety. We admire and acknowledge the courage and strength necessary to embark on the path toward recovery, restoration, and building healthy relationships. When there has been betrayal, it's essential to establish foundational relational safety. Recovery, with a focus on sobriety, should be deliberate. The ultimate goal is to foster meaningful connections.


  • It is crucial to prioritize individual recovery and healing as a part of the overall relational healing process.
  • Sexual integrity issues are often due to past wounds or trauma.
  • Showing empathy towards your partner. Understanding their feelings and perspectives can help strengthen your relationship and create a deeper emotional connection. Taking time to listen and validate their experiences actively.
  • Learn how to communicate empathetically with these examples.
  • Acknowledging and affirming the distress caused by challenges linked to sexual integrity is crucial.


Your hosts are Certified Relational Recovery Coaches specializing in Infidelity and Betrayal:

Hali Roderick- TICC, PCC, APSATS CPC-Candidate, ERCEM Candidate

⁠Read Hali’s Bio⁠

⁠Book with Hali⁠

Stephanie Hamby- MCLC, APSATS CPC-Candidate, ERCEM Candidate

⁠Read Stephanie’s Bio⁠

⁠https://stephaniehambycoaching.youcanbook.me/⁠

Contact us: ⁠info.choosingtostay@gmail.com⁠

⁠Choosing To Stay Webinar⁠: Join Hali as she teaches this monthly free webinar for those Choosing To Stay after infidelity and betrayal.

⁠Help. Her. Heal. for Men⁠ - Hali Roderick helps men learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Participants will receive weekly exercises and worksheets to help them gain the skills to begin healing a broken relationship.

⁠Empowerment After Betrayal for Men⁠ - Hali Roderick leads a betrayal trauma support group for men who have been betrayed where they can gain tools and resources to recover from betrayal trauma in a healthy way while being surrounded by a supportive community.

⁠Healing Hearts Course⁠ - Stephanie Hamby leads This Couples Course that is a comprehensive program designed for early recovery and healing couples to learn and experience valuable insights together. It focuses on partner betrayal trauma and sexual integrity issues or addiction. The course provides practical education and tools to support healing for the partner and relationship repair.

More from Choose Recovery Services:

⁠Choose Healing - Betrayal Trauma support for women⁠ - This weekly support group is for women who have recently experienced betrayal and need help to cope with the symptoms of trauma such as depression, hypervigilance, anxiety, and lack of trust. Ask questions from our team of coaches at Choose Recovery Services who have been there with this accessible group that is free for the first 12 weeks.

⁠Choose 90 for Men⁠ - Support group for men who are ready to take the first step towards recovery from compulsive behavior, infidelity, and/or betrayal. Participants will gain tools and an understanding to better manage emotions and assess behaviors.

⁠Choose 180 for Men⁠ - This support group helps men gain emotional intelligence so they can better manage unwanted behaviors. Participants will connect with other men, better understand their emotions, work through shame, and build a deep respect for themselves.

⁠Choose 360 for Men⁠ - Support group for men who have reached a sense of wholeness in their recovery and are looking to maintain their recovery through awareness, accountability, and comradery.

⁠Road to Recovery⁠ - Free monthly webinar with Luke and Alana Gordon for couples navigating the relational aspects that come along the road to recovery.

⁠Should I Stay or Should I Go?⁠ - Amie Woolsey teaches this free monthly coaching call for those stuck trying to decide whether to stay in their marriage.

Connect with ⁠Choose Recovery on Instagram⁠


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Episoder(188)

#177 One Hour a Week Was Never Going to Be Enough

#177 One Hour a Week Was Never Going to Be Enough

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#176 The Fight Under the Fight — Decoding What Betrayal Trauma Does to Your Everyday Arguments

#176 The Fight Under the Fight — Decoding What Betrayal Trauma Does to Your Everyday Arguments

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#175 The Separation Plan Guide: Navigating Time Apart After Betrayal Trauma with Shawna Meek, PCC, CPC-S

#175 The Separation Plan Guide: Navigating Time Apart After Betrayal Trauma with Shawna Meek, PCC, CPC-S

"Separation" doesn't have to mean divorce. In this episode, I'm joined by Shawna Meek of Living Stones Coaching to talk about the therapeutic separation — a structured, intentional time apart designed...

3 Sep 43min

***BONUS Choosing Different Mini Series: What I Wish I'd Done Differently with my daughters, Mataia and Morgan

***BONUS Choosing Different Mini Series: What I Wish I'd Done Differently with my daughters, Mataia and Morgan

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#174 It's Not Too Late: Healing an Affair You Thought Was Behind You

#174 It's Not Too Late: Healing an Affair You Thought Was Behind You

If the betrayal in your relationship happened years ago — and life moved forward, but the deepest layers of healing never actually happened — this episode is for you.Maybe the resources weren't availa...

27 Aug 14min

#173 Betrayed Men: Why Their Trauma Looks Different — and What Actually Helps with Dr. Laney Knowlton

#173 Betrayed Men: Why Their Trauma Looks Different — and What Actually Helps with Dr. Laney Knowlton

When we talk about betrayal trauma, the picture most people carry is of a betrayed woman. But men experience betrayal too — and their pain often goes unseen, misread as anger, or dismissed entirely. I...

20 Aug 44min

#172 Why the Right Words Aren't Enough: Embodied Empathy in Betrayal Recovery

#172 Why the Right Words Aren't Enough: Embodied Empathy in Betrayal Recovery

You can say all the right words and still leave your partner feeling completely unsafe.If you're the partner who caused harm, that may be the most frustrating thing you've encountered in recovery — yo...

13 Aug 27min

*** BONUS Choosing Different Mini Series: Three Words Every Parent Owes Their Child: "I Believe You" 

*** BONUS Choosing Different Mini Series: Three Words Every Parent Owes Their Child: "I Believe You" 

What happens when a child no longer has to convince their parent that their pain was real?In this episode of Choosing Different Mini Series, Hali sits down with her daughter, Morgan Ellsworth, for a s...

8 Aug 20min

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