237 SelfWork: Three Daddy Issues (Actually Parent Issues) and How to Heal

237 SelfWork: Three Daddy Issues (Actually Parent Issues) and How to Heal

Today on SelfWork we’re going to be talking about what have been called “daddy issues” as Father’s Day is upcoming and many children will be honoring their fathers who were there for them and with whom they enjoyed an emotionally safe and stable relationship. We'll talk about how this term has been used in a pejorative way, and replace it with "parent issues," which is far more realistic. Chief among the issues is sexual abuse. But in this episode, sponsored by Athletic Greens, I want to cover two other major dynamics that can cause a parent/child relationship to be damaging - enmeshment and abandonment - or being emotionally unavailable. There are many others - the addicted parent, the critical parent, the mentally unstable parent. Below you'll find a couple of links to episodes that cover those topics as well. I’ll pull from the wisdom of my own therapy clients as they’ve seen for themselves what was wrong – and did their best to change it.

The Speak Pipe listener question is from a man who has identified with perfectly hidden depression but now feels overrun by emotions that he’s struggling to control. What would you say?

Important Links:

Click Here for the fabulous offer from Athletic Greens with bonus product with your subscription!

Article on four of Jung's archetypes

The Father Archetype

New podcast called "Daddy Issues"

SelfWork Episode on trying to love a borderline parent

Dr. Margaret's Course on Facing Depression, exclusively on Himalaya (and the offer includes a 2-week free trial)

You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism or need for control which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions, long hidden away, that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

Our Sponsors: * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

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Episoder(553)

503 SelfWork: Important Insights Into How to Interpret the Enneagram with Courtney Smith

503 SelfWork: Important Insights Into How to Interpret the Enneagram with Courtney Smith

Our expert speaker is Courtney Smith, who's a coach, group facilitator, and consultant who works with individuals and Fortune 500 companies to achieve change. She is a renowned practitioner of the Enn...

19 Jun 47min

502 SelfWork: The Medical and Mental Trauma of Chronic Invisible Illness with Amy Kurtz

502 SelfWork: The Medical and Mental Trauma of Chronic Invisible Illness with Amy Kurtz

194 million Americans–more than 76 percent of the population–are living with chronic illness. Many eventually stabilize, but what happens when the body heals and you still don’t feel safe inside it? ...

12 Jun 47min

Introducing How To!: “How To Take Psychedelics for Your Mental Health with Dr. Will Van Derveer”

Introducing How To!: “How To Take Psychedelics for Your Mental Health with Dr. Will Van Derveer”

This week we’re sharing a special episode from our friends at How To!, the 2026 Ambie Award-nominated “Best Personal Growth Podcast” that’s back with a new host and new topics to fuel your curiosity. ...

9 Jun 44min

501 SelfWork: Cultural Humility: What It Takes To Walk in Someone Else's Shoes

501 SelfWork: Cultural Humility: What It Takes To Walk in Someone Else's Shoes

Dr. Margaret focuses today on the vital importance of what’s termed “cultural humility” as she responds to a listener voicemail, pointing out that as she’s a white person, her advice comes from a plac...

5 Jun 22min

500 SelfWork: Paul Gilmartin On Healing from Maternal Sexual Abuse

500 SelfWork: Paul Gilmartin On Healing from Maternal Sexual Abuse

It’s a little hard to describe Paul Gilmartin. He's worked as a stand-up comic. He makes furniture. And he's a maternal abuse survivor. To add to that, he was one of the first hosts of the TBS show ...

28 Mai 46min

499 SelfWork: Emotional Martyrdom: It's Different Than Self-Sacrifice

499 SelfWork: Emotional Martyrdom: It's Different Than Self-Sacrifice

Recently, I got a comment on the questionnaire blogpost on perfectly hidden depression - from a woman whose every word convinced me that there are too many people in the world who believe it's their j...

22 Mai 22min

498 SelfWork: Plastic Surgery: Understanding Its Psychological Side with Dr. Rady Rahban

498 SelfWork: Plastic Surgery: Understanding Its Psychological Side with Dr. Rady Rahban

Today we're focusing on the psychological side of plastic surgery. This interview with renowned plastic surgeon Dr. Rady Rahban answers all your questions about the psychological side of choosing both...

15 Mai 44min

497 SelfWork: What's The Current Controversy Over What "Licensed Mental Health Professional" Means

497 SelfWork: What's The Current Controversy Over What "Licensed Mental Health Professional" Means

Today we’ll focus on what it means to be a licensed mental health professional. How are coaches and influencers different from licensed mental health professionals? And how has the rise of therapists ...

8 Mai 24min

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