755: Divide your time between I, We, and Us - Habits with Stephen & Mara Klemich

In the world of personal development you hear a lot of stories of people making huge changes. Rags to riches, zero to hero, and massive life turn-arounds. It makes for a great story, but is it relevant for us? In 2003 I was at a critical juncture in my life where I'd bit off more than I could chew. I abruptly quit my cycling career and business, moved my wife and three kids cross country and started a new life. It was needed. Since then, most changes have not been quite so massive. We tend to look at the circumstances to guide, if not force us to action. But now I pay attention to where my heart is. With that in mind, I bring you a story that I feel will help you consider where you are. Rich Roll. The guys is famous for his story, and today, his gigantic podcast, the Rich Roll show. Years back I sat down with Rich to dig into his story. Here are the highlights; Rich was 39 years old with degrees from Stanford and Cornell. He was a corporate lawyer, married with three kids living in a dream house he'd built. Then one evening he finds himself at home, it's 2am and he's spent hours watching TV and eating junk food and he's winded after walking up eight steps in his home. An image of his wife and daughter at her wedding in the future, and he wasn't there. He'd died from ill health. He looked in the mirror and saw a fat, out of shape, very unhealthy man, depressed, self-destructive and utterly disconnected from who he was and what he wanted to be. He said, “In that precise moment, I was overcome with the profound knowledge, not that I needed to change, but that I was WILLING to change. And I understood that any true or lasting lifestyle change would require rigor, specificity, and accountability. Vague notions of “eating better” or maybe “going to the gym more often” just weren’t going to work.” And, the rest you're about to hear more about. He became an ultra endurance athlete and now is a brand, in and of himself, of healthy living and life transformation. Find him on your podcast player, just search for Rich Roll. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

31 Jan 202545min

Anytime a question like this is posed, you really expect that it’s bait to pull you in and emphasize in this case, how we really, massively need community. I’m not going to do that. I’m quite an introvert and I don’t often enjoy groups of people. I want to look at what community can look like for different people. My muse continues to be Ian Morgan Cron from his new book, The Fix: How the Twelve Steps Offer a Surprising Path of Transformation for the Well-Adjusted, the Down-and-Out, and Everyone In Between. The 12 Steps came from AA, Alcoholics Anonymous, which I view as one of the most powerful and valuable communities ever. But I don’t see many communities that function as it does. I will cite some others however. The point though is, asking what the value really is, or isn’t, for each of us to consider. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

30 Jan 202513min

A couple episodes ago in my conversation with Ian Morgan Cron on addiction and the benefits of 12 steps, he started off talking about the “great human ache” we all feel and are trying to address. Ian is a man of faith, actually an Episcopal priest along with all his other roles. For him the ache is an aspect of separation from God. That is his faith. It may not be yours. It may not be mine. But in my own experience as a human, and in walking with so many, the concept of an underlying ache, interests me. It resonates some, but I also question it. So that’s this short episode…some thoughts and questions about the great human ache or what else may be troubling us beneath the surface. Ian’s new book again is The Fix: How the Twelve Steps Offer a Surprising Path of Transformation for the Well-Adjusted, the Down-and-Out, and Everyone In Between. Also find him at his popular podcast, Typology. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

29 Jan 202513min

I’ve often heard addiction debated, as to what really defines it. I typed into a search engine, “How do you define addiction” and this is what it showed; Addiction is when you have a strong physical or psychological need or urge to do something or use something. It is a dependence on a substance or activity even if you know that it causes you harm. It can impact your daily life. I don’t want to be flippant, but from that definition I’d say every one of us is on a spectrum of addiction. I don’t look at it as addicted or not, but how addicted to our vices are we. I think about this often, as I really, really like liking what I like. I love loving my pleasures. But I also concern myself with going too far. I’ll get candid with you here and follow in the footsteps of my guest in the previous episode, Ian Morgan Cron, as he shared about his ongoing struggles in his new book, The Fix: How the Twelve Steps Offer a Surprising Path of Transformation for the Well-Adjusted, the Down-and-Out, and Everyone In Between. Also find him at his popular podcast, Typology. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

28 Jan 202514min

Most everyone has heard of the twelve steps concept associated with Alcoholics Anonymous. I bring it here for all of us, whether you think you are addicted to anything or not, which is an arguable claim for anyone. Ian Morgan Cron is the bestselling author of The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery, which has sold over one million copies. He’s a psychotherapist, Enneagram teacher, Episcopal priest, and the host of the popular podcast Typology. I had Ian on the show before to talk about the message in his book, The Story of You: An Enneagram Journey to Becoming Your True Self. Since he was on my show, Ian, this leader of so many, relapsed. It’s not an incredibly sordid story, but he has a past history of substance abuse. All these years later, he found himself reliant on some substances and questioning himself in significant ways. In this episode we talk through his story. We talk about what Ian calls, “the great human ache.” We discuss what addiction is, the need we all have for community to keep us on a healthy path, and how the 12 steps are relevant for anyone seeking well-being. Ian breaks down how the 12 steps covers making peace with God, making peace with self, making peace with others and cultivating a healthy and fulfilling life. Ian has captured all this in a brand new book, The Fix: How the Twelve Steps Offer a Surprising Path of Transformation for the Well-Adjusted, the Down-and-Out, and Everyone In Between. I hope you’ll join us in this conversation. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

27 Jan 20251h 42min

I don’t think any of us chooses to wear a mask. But creating and wearing them is taught to us from early on. And in some cases, it’s a necessity to survive. Now here we are. Are we wearing a mask? More than one? I’m bringing an incredible show back from the archives. Lewis Howes is the host of the podcast, The School of Greatness, one of the biggest podcasts alive at this point. Lewis is a big, strapping looking guy. A former pro ball player. He looks like the definition of “all-American.” But few know that he began life with a learning disability, which led to being alone and bullied in school, to being sexually abused as a child. Years back he took on the topic of masculinity. Lewis’ research looked at the majority of stress, anxiety, and pressure men feel is due to the masks they wear. Now, if you’ll listen in, I feel the concept pertains very much to women too. Think of masks as certain personas we fall or buy into, and get trapped in. Then live from in a limiting life construct. Do you have any stress or anxiety? Do you feel any pressure? Would you like to be free of it? Let’s look at the masks you may find out you are wearing. You can connect with Lewis at “The School of Greatness” podcast, which you’ll find at the top of the podcast charts. You can get his book, The Mask of Masculinity, wherever you buy books, and find Lewis anywhere at Lewis Howes. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

24 Jan 202551min

With the big question and quest of what do we actually want for our lives, it strikes me that it is all just an effort to feel a certain way. We strive and strive for this and for that and to me it seems like a great mind game. I am not discounting the things we want to achieve, but I’m questioning some of what we do as a means to an end. I have found myself going after things I think I want. Then when I ask myself why, and why again, I realize it’s often to generate a feeling. And then I ask myself, do I really need to pursue whatever it is in order to feel the way I want to feel? Let’s talk about it. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

23 Jan 202511min

I recently posted a question on Facebook. The question was, “What is a book you have read, where you can honestly look back and say that after you read it, you made a tangible life-change for the better? What is the book, and what was the change?” About 75 people shared around 60 books. They could easily testify to the knowledge they received from the books, but very few could specify the change they made as a result. I have some thoughts on this. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

22 Jan 202512min