1102: College vs. Trades | Skeptical Sunday

Yeonmi Park (@YeonmiParkNK) is a North Korean defector and activist whose harrowing experiences are chronicled in her book In Order to Live: A North Korean Girl's Journey to Freedom. [This is part one of a two-part episode. Please stay tuned for the conclusion later this week!] What We Discuss with Yeonmi Park: Why there's a black market for poop in North Korea. How the people of North Korea are kept isolated from the outside world to the extent that they use a different calendar, have never heard of Shakespeare, and don't even have words for "oppression" or "love." How North Korea's guilt-by-association policy can carry punishment for people who are within several generations of someone perceived as offensive to the regime. Why Yeonmi finds being on the North Korean regime's official kill list to be "liberating." How long it might take to watch Titanic in a country that only turns on the electricity for State holidays (and the ultimate penalty for getting caught doing so). And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/578 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

26 Okt 20211h 6min

Your narcissistic sister with special needs thinks nothing of "borrowing" thousands of dollars from you to invest in every sure-to-lose scam that comes her way, and now she wants to "borrow" more to check herself into an assisted care facility (which would make your life easier if you knew that's where the money was actually going). What should you do? This and more here on Feedback Friday! And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in! Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/577 On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: Your narcissistic sister with special needs thinks nothing of "borrowing" thousands of dollars from you to invest in every scam that comes her way, and now she wants to "borrow" more to check herself into an assisted care facility. What should you do? [Thanks to cult and scam expert Dr. Steven Hassan for his help with this one!] You moved back home to accept what turned out to be a crummy job. The good news: your old, better-paying job in a city you actually like wants you back. The bad news: your girlfriend might not be able to make the move with you for a year and a half. Should you stay or should you go? Your brother and his wife are lazy, negligent parents to your nieces, aged four and six, allowing them free range of the neighborhood until 11 p.m. You fear for the children's safety, but you're not sure how to bring up solutions without starting a huge hullabaloo. You strive for excellence in all you do, but you want to do a lot. A wide range of hobbies keep you mentally stimulated, but you don't feel like you're able to focus on any one thing in order to excel. Is now the time to switch gears and leave some of your interests by the wayside to really shine at your career? Your little brother gets bad anxiety and overreacts to everything. You know that therapy could really improve his quality of life, but your mother is involved in politics and worries about what effect this would have on her image. How can you convince your parents to get your little brother therapy without it sounding like they're failing as parents? [Thanks to clinical psychologist Dr. Erin Margolis for helping us with this one!] Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

22 Okt 202143min

General Michael Hayden (@GenMhayden) is a retired United States Air Force general, former Director of the NSA and CIA, and author of Playing to the Edge: American Intelligence in the Age of Terror. [Note: This is a previously broadcast episode from the vault that we felt deserved a fresh listen!] What We Discuss with General Michael Hayden: How does an intelligence agent view cognition, cognitive bias, and psychology differently from a policymaker? What is The Unpleasant Fact an intelligence agent brings to the briefing table? General Hayden gives us a rare glimpse of working for two very different presidents and conveys the importance of adapting to their particular learning styles. Find out what it’s like to present new intelligence to an administration that forces it to change policy. (Awkward!) Get General Hayden’s take on the Orlando shootings and the difficulty of balancing security with liberty. And much more… Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/576 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

21 Okt 20211h 10min

Benjamin Hardy (@BenjaminPHardy) is an organizational psychologist and author of books about willpower, self-limiting beliefs, and teamwork. His latest offering (co-authored with Dan Sullivan), is The Gap and the Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success. What We Discuss with Benjamin Hardy: If you measure your current self against your ideal (often chosen and defined by other people rather than yourself), you’ll never be happy because there will always be a gap. Unsuccessful people primarily focus on this (but we all wind up here sometimes). If you measure your current self against your previous self — and notice the gain you've made between yesterday and today — you’ll experience happiness, satisfaction, and confidence. The most successful people understand this. The difference between ideals (general, immeasurable, and constantly changing) and goals (specific, measurable, and time-bound) -- and why your ideals shouldn't be your benchmark for achievement, but merely the source from which your goals are inspired. How you can weed out the arbitrary reference points with which you've been burdened by external sources and choose ones that are actually meaningful -- not just constant reminders of what you don't have. How the increased confidence that comes from living in the gain allows you to set bigger and more imaginative goals to truly tailor the fabric of your own life. And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/575 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

19 Okt 202153min

You've been secretly chatting with an old flame whose torch you still carry, and you even met in person to discover that these feelings are mutual. But there's a big hitch: while you're now single again, she's in what seems to be an otherwise happy marriage and is mother to three. Now you feel frustrated, jealous, and even heartbroken because you can't be with her. Or can you? We'll try to help you find answers to this and more here on Feedback Friday! And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in! Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/574 On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: Rekindling with an old flame whose feelings are said to be mutual should fill you with joy, but her current marriage to another man and motherhood to his children is a bit of a downer. Can there be merit in pursuing something...extramarital? You share custody of two children with a narcissistic ex -- one is hers by a father who was out of the picture by the time you came along, and the other was adopted. The problem: she shamelessly plays favorites and clearly favors her biological kid. Are you hurting your adopted child by allowing her to go to your toxic ex's every other week? You're blind and working toward certification in a well-paying field, but it involves visual math concepts and a lot of the instructional material is inaccessible. On the other hand, your interest in languages makes a career as an interpreter appealing -- and it's much easier to accomplish. Should you finish the certification you've spent so much time and money pursuing, or just cut your losses and take the lower-paying but potentially more satisfying path? You have well-off parents who let you live rent-free in a house they own while you finish school, but you think your roommate may be taking advantage of the situation by mooching free food without asking and even offering it to guests. What can you do to set better boundaries without creating an awkward living environment? Working the night shift doing repetitive work wasn't really what you signed on for, so you've been looking for a new job. Now you've been informed you're on deck for training in a more challenging task that's more up your alley, but you're not sure you can work three more months of overnights before this is slated to happen. What are your best options here? Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect... See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

15 Okt 202146min

David Buss (@profdavidbuss) is considered the world’s leading scientific expert on the evolutionary psychology of human mating strategies. He is the author of several books on the subject, most recently When Men Behave Badly: The Hidden Roots of Sexual Deception, Harassment, and Assault. What We Discuss with David Buss: Why, from an evolutionary standpoint, the reproductive interests of males and females sometimes diverge. Why metabolizing alcohol differently makes women more susceptible to an expectation of bonding (and how some men exploit this). The Dark Triad traits that mark the men most likely to have short-term relationships and cheat. How do women use active signaling to show they're more open to short-term relationships? She's not playing hard to get. If she rejects you softly, it isn't an invitation to try harder -- it's a survival tactic meant to avoid prompting a violent reaction. And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/573 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

14 Okt 20211h 21min

Tamer Elnoury is an Arabic-speaking Muslim American, a longtime elite counterterrorism undercover agent, and co-author of American Radical: Inside the World of an Undercover Muslim FBI Agent. What We Discuss with Tamer Elnoury: What unique psychological skills (and desire for thrills) drew Tamer to the exciting and dangerous life of undercover law enforcement work? Why, when working undercover, you're only as good as your informant. How an agent is trained to work undercover (and why the FBI undercover school only has a 50 percent graduation rate). How an undercover agent blends in with criminals without breaking the laws they've been recruited to enforce. What an undercover agent does to hook a mark into noticing and eventually confiding in them. And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/572 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

12 Okt 20211h 20min

As an exemplary member of the clergy for 29 years, you'd think honesty to your superiors would be rewarded unconditionally. Alas, when you disclosed a need to seek counseling during a rough patch between you and your spouse (which resulted in a stronger relationship), you were unceremoniously booted from your position. Now you can't find work at another church because you've been unfairly branded a pariah among those of your faith, and you can't find a job among the secular because your clerical past seems to be a turn-off to potential employers. What can you do? We'll try to find an answer to this and more here on Feedback Friday! And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in! Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/571 On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: Honesty got you kicked out of the clergy, and the seculars seem turned off by your pastor past. Who will hire you now? [Thanks to Pastor Brad Mortensen for helping us with this one!] Thanks to an accidental pocket dial after calling your parents to ask for a loan, you overheard exactly what your mother thinks of you -- and it wasn't favorable. Yet she's never hesitated to call you when she needs help. Is it unreasonable to cut toxic family members out of your life? You're a fully booked hairstylist at your sister-in-law's salon, and feel it's time to branch out on your own after 20 years. But you'd be bringing along another fully booked stylist, which would ultimately hurt your sister-in-law's business. Is there a way to follow opportunity without leaving family in the lurch? You love your job, but you find the constant interruptions that come with it challenging your ability to stay on task. What can you do to stay focused? You run a junior developer meetup; most people come through, build technical and interpersonal confidence, and leave when they get jobs, but there are some people who have been coming back week after week for years. These folks are generally technically proficient, but lack in the social skills department. How can you proactively add social skills training without coming across as some kind of jerk? Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

8 Okt 202154min