3 Boundaries at the holidays

3 Boundaries at the holidays

Boundaries are an invitation to intimacy but the holidays can make it feel like your boundaries have no place in life. The gravity of tradition can get in the way of checking in with ourselves about what we truly need and want. In this episode, we share stories about how it felt to combine family traditions and how rocky it was trying to learn to communicate our needs to each other when we weren't even sure what those needs were!

Learning how to set boundaries started for us with a freezing cold, muddy, miserable Christmas eve walk. Luckily, every day gives us new opportunities to learn about our yes's and no's and most of them don't have to involve a muddy, frozen toddler crying on your hip. Committing to reimagine the holidays is the best gift we can get this wild 2020 holiday season!

Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube

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Episoder(258)

253 The Shadow of Compersion

253 The Shadow of Compersion

Compersion – feeling joy for another person’s joy – is a beautiful thing, especially when it comes to non-monogamy. But, like anything that’s bright and shiny, there’s a shadow side to compersion, and...

15 Aug 43min

252 Triad Life in a World of Couples with Margo, Jody & Chris

252 Triad Life in a World of Couples with Margo, Jody & Chris

Relationships are messy, and when you re-imagine life with three instead of two, well, let's just say the complexity multiplies in ways you might not expect, even if you've been practicing non-monogam...

1 Aug 1h 15min

251 Trailblazing vs Following: The Hidden Dynamic That May Be Creating Resentment

251 Trailblazing vs Following: The Hidden Dynamic That May Be Creating Resentment

When a couple opens their relationship, there’s almost always one partner who tends to take more initiative – to seek out information, read all the books, listen to podcasts, find a poly-aware therapi...

18 Jul 48min

250 Relationship Re‑Imagination: The Framework

250 Relationship Re‑Imagination: The Framework

To celebrate hitting 250 episodes of Playing With Fire, we’re diving deep into something we've been asked about constantly since our first episode on it over a year ago: Relationship Re-Imagination.We...

4 Jul 2h 24min

[Replay] 194 Re-Imagining Relationships

[Replay] 194 Re-Imagining Relationships

When something isn't working, even if you’ve been practicing non-monogamy for a long time, it’s really easy to default into the monogamous paradigm, which offers only a few set options. But what if th...

27 Jun 51min

249 Is Your Non‑Monogamy Actually Just Two Monogamies?

249 Is Your Non‑Monogamy Actually Just Two Monogamies?

So you made the transition to non-monogamy… but you ended up feeling like you’re living two separate parallel lives in different relationships. This might not seem like that big a deal from the outsid...

20 Jun 48min

248 Beyond People-Pleasing: Practicing Healthy Autonomy in Relationships

248 Beyond People-Pleasing: Practicing Healthy Autonomy in Relationships

People pleasing is not an effective strategy on the path to healthy, conscious relating. But adopting an approach towards autonomy that amounts to ‘I don’t owe anyone anything’ is…not it either. These...

13 Jun 44min

247 Non-Monogamy, Mono-Mind: The Invisible Scripts Running Your Communication

247 Non-Monogamy, Mono-Mind: The Invisible Scripts Running Your Communication

Chances are, if you know one thing about conscious relating, it’s that communication is key. And if you’re good at communicating in monogamous relationships, you might think that those skills will eas...

6 Jun 42min

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